Perfect Data Blend

Our first date…I’m nervous and anxious as I typically – or anyone else, I would imagine – would be for a blind date. O.k. – it’s not technically a blind date. I’ve seen him before and he has seen me – on our computer monitor screens, but only a couple of brief times as a matter of physical introduction after we’d determined we enjoyed our conversations. We had engaged in back and forth emails and text messages, then began talking on the phone, and both arrived at the conclusion that there was something with us – something that warranted further investigation and pursuit toward a possible relationship. We’d both shared pictures, and to my content, I found his likeness on screen to be consistent with his photos. Tall, large frame but muscular build. His face appeared kind and gentle – he has a warm smile, which he did not fully display often in his pictures or during our brief onscreen meetings, but there was an upturn to his mouth that I found welcoming and pleasing.

I presume he, too, was pleased with my onscreen likeness upon seeing me and comparing my image with the pictures he had. Though I have no proclivities toward self-consciousness when it comes to my appearance, I know my larger presentation and natural hair may not be to everyone’s liking, so I was somewhat concerned that he might be put-off or that I may appear slimmer in photos than on screen. He was undaunted, though, and based on his presentation of a larger than normal smile, I surmised he was actually pleased with my appearance, which led him to initiate this first date exploit. It will be an online virtual date, but – he promised me – with a sense of adventure that he hopes will be to my liking.

So, why am I so nervous? We’ve made it past the hard part of gathering enough information to determine our compatibilities. We’re both scientists - he’s a chemist, working on research teams to develop treatment protocols for skin diseases like rosacea, and I am applying my master’s degree in physics to a position as a data analyst for engineering patents. Two different sciences, yes, but we are both driven by a passion for data and understand that to make a decision without appropriately researching, evaluating, and measuring gathered intel would only result in a disastrous outcome. I’d weighed the pros and cons of even approaching the idea of pursuing a relationship during a pandemic and concluded that there could be no safer time to engage in online prospects because the possibility of a REAL in-person date was up to the eradication of COVID. We both resolved that it would be at least a year – perhaps longer – before we could actually even be able to break the six feet social distance mandate, much less, kiss and touch.

Maybe my nervousness is just excitement, an emotion that doesn’t know what to do with itself since it hasn’t been present in so long. Even before the pandemic, my self-imposed dating hiatus had lulled me into complacency with being alone. I had become very satisfied with my independent living, so much so that before I knew it, a decade had come and gone without me having to engage another person on a romantic level. Romance never truly appealed to me that much in the first place. It all seemed so artificial – contrived displays for the purpose of one thing – ending in an act of physical satisfaction. How many times did someone sit across from me, staring into my eyes – ugh! I suppose they were supposed to be ‘gazing lovingly’ at me, but it really just looked like they were trying to hypnotize me into thinking that I might want them physically as they seemed to want me. I sometimes acquiesced and it would be alright for a time, but I was always missing that intellectual connection – the one component that would make the effort seem worthwhile.

I think this time might be different. Is that why I’m so nervous/excited/anxious – whatever it is? Oh boy…anyway…date logon time is 7 p.m. tonight. He told me that he would begin texting me instructions this morning at 10 a.m. and that I should follow them to the letter. Sounds rather demanding and domineering – not sure I like that…or do I?

10 a.m. – first text – Him: “Good morning-Happy Saturday! I hope your work week was productive and that you had a restful sleep last night. I am going to send you a series of tasks to prepare for our date this evening. I know we will be convening virtually, but I still think we have an opportunity to make this a memorable occasion. I am going to text you places with associated times for arrival as we progress through the day. Don’t worry – I will not be at any of them; however, each location will have item(s) you will need for this evening. After you’ve completed each pick-up, text me so that we can discuss and I will give you the location of the next pickup. Your first location is not a designated pickup, but I figured you’d want to begin the day right with what you shared with me as your favorite morning beverage and treat, so head to Starbuck’s and text me once you’ve had your breakfast.”

Well – so far so good. He listened. I sincerely hope he is not going to send me on some obstacle course and wear me out. I also hope he is not trying to do some kind of ’50 Shades of Grey’ stuff, having me pick up items I would not like or that he probably can’t afford but might be trying to make me think he can. He pretty much made it clear that he wasn’t buying my breakfast though, so I’ll play along at least for right now. I text him after I’d had my breakfast. I stayed in the car though, in the hopes he would send me somewhere nearby and I could get all this picking up stuff over in one fell swoop.

11 a.m. – second text – Him: “You enjoy breakfast? Pretty sure you did, if you bought the items you’ve told me you’re so fond of consuming. Hopefully you are still out and about and in your car, not far from Starbuck’s because your next stop is the DeKalb Farmer’s Market. They have pick-ups for you waiting at both the bakery counter and in the floral department. There should be two containers at the bakery counter and the floral department has two items for you. I know how much you appreciate the sights, tastes, and people watching there and that you will need time to meander around and shop, so they aren’t expecting you until noon or so. As you are already aware, it’s a great place to pick up lunch.”

O.k. Now things are getting scary. He REALLY listened! I did exactly as he said I would – had to – it’s a part of my process when there. Picked up some things I needed then got his items – two boxes with pastries/dessert, a vase with a single red rose, and a bag with a wine bottle.

Here’s where he ventured off the rails – the wine he chose was Merlot. What the heck? I NEVER told him I liked Merlot! In fact, I believe I specifically told him that was my LEAST favorite wine, as most full-bodied reds were. I’d actually given him a list of reds that I do like – Syrah, Shiraz, most blushes (not technically red, I know) even White Merlot, in a pinch. Could he have confused that into thinking I actually like regular Merlot? I presumed he’d purchased this wine to drink with dinner. Tradition says that red wine is best served with red meat, which I do not eat. What is he thinking? I texted him that I had made the associated pick-ups with an end note – “Merlot? Really?”

Him: “LOL. I figured you would respond that way. Up to this point, the day has been about letting you know that I heard you and listen to what you’re saying. This Merlot is my way of seeing what you may have heard ME saying. Our conversation about wine began with me telling you I was a wine enthusiast. You let me know that you were not so much, but that you enjoyed them and when I asked your taste in reds, you told me you had found some to be agreeable and let me know specifically the ones you enjoy. I told you that I hoped that you would be open to the experience of venturing outside of what you think you like to try something new.”

Wow…so, now I don’t know how to feel. Is he testing me to see if I was listening as intently to him as he was to me? I feel bad because clearly I wasn’t. I was so busy trying to be sure he measured up to my expectations and worrying about me measuring up to his physical expectations that I hadn’t thought to think about ensuring I was listening to him – truly listening – so that we could meet in the middle and truly find each other. Well played, Sir. But I still feel the need to defend my response…

Me: “I know, but Merlot? That’s the wine my aunt drinks. Isn’t that for stuffy older people?”

Him: “Did you ever consider they might like it for a reason? Don’t get me wrong – I understand its reputation and that it has a bad name for having been mass produced and distributed by so many wine makers who didn’t value it enough to make sure it embodied everything it should as a wine, but trust me on this – THAT Merlot is great. It pairs well with more than just red meat (I know you don’t eat that) and has a depth of flavor and smoothness that feel like a warm hug. Again – trust me. Now that you’ve made those pick-ups, all that’s left is the final stop for dinner. Pick up curbside at Café Alsace. They are expecting you right about now. Your dinner will have instructions for warming later. I hope you take the rest of the day to rest and prepare for tonight and that you will indulge me with whatever you would normally wear for candlelight dinner. I’m sorry I forgot to include candles – do you have some?”

Me: “I do. See you at seven.”

Now I am fully excited, like a teenager before the prom. This is so not like me! These are not rational feelings – but I like them. Who is this man? Clearly not who I had deduced him to be. Furthermore, who am I? This is some high level romance, which I normally don’t like at all, but…OMG – now nervousness has turned into – something else. I don’t know what to call it, but I think I like it! Let’s see what’s in the bag – Poulet Farci. I guess that pairs well with Merlot. My date – the wine enthusiast – picked it out so that must be the case.

By: Kimberley Alexander