Peach

To say I was nervous would be an understatement. My entire body buzzed with chaotic energy, it's only release through the rapid bouncing on my feet. I touched my phone screen to check the time again. I was early, panicked that I would get stuck in traffic in this huge city I suddenly found myself in.

What was I doing here, honestly? Not just on this date but what was I doing with my life? I uproot everything for this software engineer job, like I’m some big shit or something. I could hear my grandma now, "Shel, what you took yourself way up there fa? You bet’not come back down here with some old funny accent. Like that cousin of yours, Vernette. Came back talking like she got damn marbles in her mouth. Foolishness."

I sighed. I wished she was still here. Sometimes, the pain from missing her cut so deep I feared I’d die from it. And then other days, like today, she felt like some ethereal mist, floating around me. Not too far, but also not too close. She definitely wouldn’t be a fan of what I was doing today.

“Sheldra?” My breath caught. Stunning didn’t do her justice. She had skin that glowed and shimmered, like dark honey reflecting light. Her frame was small but oddly long and elegant. Muscular. Like a dancer. Her eyes simmered like a warm coffee and she had a smile that felt like a Georgia sunrise.

“Um, yes. That’s me.”

Her smile widened. I swallowed. “So nice to meet you, I’m Carmel.” She gave me her hand. I took it tentatively. “I was actually worried I was going to be too early. I just wanted to make sure I missed traffic.”

“Oh yeah, me too.” She started to sit and I clumsily moved towards her chair. She laughed softly.

“Why aren’t you the gentleman,” she said with a wink. I nervously pulled out her chair, hoping to God that my suddenly sweaty palms wouldn’t cause an unfortunate slip. Everything went relatively smoothly and I hurried back to my chair.

“So. What brings you to our loud, traffic-filled city?”

I smiled. I wasn’t ready for questions so soon, but I appreciated the directness. And the seemingly genuine interest. “Oh, just a job.”

“A job?” She raised an eyebrow. “Well it must be quite the job to bring you all the way here.”

I tilted my head in confusion. “How did you…?”

“The accent,” she said.

“Right. Of course.” Duh, Sheldra. You acting like you got one of them funny accents already. “Well, I got offered a job as a software engineer with this new tech startu-”

“It isn't NeutronTech is it?”

“Uh, no. Should it be?”

“No, unless you don’t care about paying your bills or sleeping.” She shook her head. “I have just heard the shadiest things about that place and I recently ran into two people who worked there and they shared what they could of their horror stories.” She leaned in. “Apparently, you have to sign an NDA if they fire you and you’re bound not to say anything about them that could be construed as ‘negative.’” She did air quotes, showcasing her gorgeous peach nails. They had actual peaches drawn on them.

“Really? Companies can do that?”

She shrugged. “Honestly, don’t know? And those two people could have been lying. You really just never know.”

“But why would they lie about something like that? That doesn’t make sense.”

Carmel’s eyes widened. Then, as if suddenly understanding she let out a low oooohhhh. “I get it. You haven’t met vain people yet. I mean, pathologically vain. And superficial. All they want is attention. And bad attention is just as good as any. Better, sometimes, because then you get a scandalous story out of it that people like me will share with random strangers.” She laughed awkwardly. “Not to say, you’re random or anything. Or a stranger, exactly. Well, at least I hope you won’t be a stranger.” I started to respond but she exhaled and continued. “I’m really sorry. I usually don’t ramble quite this much but honestly, I am um, just kinda...nervous?”

Nervous? About...me? How on Earth was that possible? “You’re nervous?”

“Well, yeah.” She flashed another smile. “You are this tall, statuesque woman who looks like she could lay out half the bar.” I laughed. “But seriously, you are just...wow. When my friend told me she had a coworker that knew someone perfect for me I was definitely skeptical. And honestly, who even does blind dates even more, with all the dating apps out there?”

“I don’t know. I thought it was kind of cool. Not totally knowing who to expect, being taken by surprise by someone new. Because if you feel it, it's like it was fated, meant to be.” I said it before I realized it. I started to apologize, wondering if that was too much for a first date. I’m a romantic, of course, but maybe talking about fate and stuff will scare her away.

Before she could respond, our waitress appeared. A perky blond with bright blue eyes and some of the absolute straightest teeth I’d ever seen in my life.

“Hello and welcome to Les Chavez. I’m Ashlin, your server today. What drinks can I get for you two?”

“Oh. I uh-”

“I’ll have a glass of your Pinot Noir.”

“Excellent choice, and for you ma’am?”

“I uh, let me take a look at your list.” I picked up the wine list that had been sitting in between us and tried to take it in. It was all Greek to me. I swallowed and chose one at random.”I’ll take a glass of your um, Merlot.” Carmel giggled slightly. Our waitress nodded.

“Of course! I get this right out for you, and then I’ll come back.” She scurried off, ponytail bouncing behind her.

Once she was out of earshot, I sighed. “I said that wrong, didn’t I?”

She nodded. “Yeah, but it was really cute if that helps.” I wasn’t sure if she was being serious or messing with me. She must have noticed my skepticism because she leaned in and whispered. “You honestly have such an amazing voice. It’s like...warm honey or something. I’d listen to you say anything.”

I suddenly felt quite bashful. “Oh. Um, thanks.”

“No need to thank me. I’m just glad I get to hear it.” She took a sip of the sparkling water on the table. “And as far as what you were saying about fate-”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“I agree. Completely. ” Her response surprised me.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Why do you think I agreed to go on a blind date in the first place? There’s just something about, meeting and seeing someone for the first time. It’s like, you remove all the bullshit context you usually come into a date with and just start, fresh and open. A clean slate. And then...like you said. If you feel it, it suddenly feels like fate.” I caught a glint in her eye as she said the last part. “And who doesn’t love fate?”

I smiled. “Most people, I think. You know us romantics are a dying breed.”

“Are we?” she said, a hint of playfulness to her tone. “I think we’re just in hiding.”

“Hiding? What makes you say that?”

“Well, it’s not like the world is bursting with optimism. People like us, who live with rose-colored glasses and believe in happily ever afters are usually looked at as fools.” She took another sip from her glass. Mine remained untouched, the glass sweating with condensation. “And maybe we are, but I like to think that we are on this little blue marble to do more than eat, shit, and die.” I laughed, loudly. And I would have been embarrassed if Carmel hadn’t laughed with me. “I don’t know, I just think what we’re meant to do while we’re alive is spread as much love and joy as possible. And what is more joyful and full of love than true romance?”

“Wow. You are...wow.” I finally took a sip of water, my mouth suddenly dry. “I don’t even know what to say, that was just so...eloquent.”

She giggled. “Well, don’t get too impressed. I’m pretty sure I took that last line from some Pinterest board I follow.”

I laughed again. “Honesty. I like it.”

“Good. I’m glad you do.” And for a few moments, we said nothing, simply enjoying the warmth of each other’s presence. It was nice, easy. One of the most relaxing moments I’d had since moving to the city.

“Here are your drinks, ladies,” Ashlin said as she set a glass in front of both of us. “And are you both ready to order or do you need some more time.”

Damn. I can’t believe I still haven’t looked at the menu. But neither has she. “I think we need a few more moments.”

“Of course! I’ll be back in a few to check on you.” And then she walked away, that ponytail furiously bobbing behind her.

“I see you checking her out.”

“What?” I asked. “No, I wasn’t-”

“I’m teasing,” Carmel said. “I know you wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh really? How do you know?”

“Because you’re the sort of person who pulls out chairs and admits they believe in love.” She smiled, big and wide. “I honestly didn’t think people like you existed.” People like me? With her sitting across from me like a golden goddess from some long-forgotten mythology? “You just have this...warmth and calmness about you. Like a summer breeze or something. I don’t know. I’m not great with words or whatever.”

“Really? I definitely couldn’t tell it.” She smiled. I reciprocated. Then, I finally took a sip of my wine. And within an instant, I regretted it. What the hell kind of grape is this?

Carmel caught expression. “Not a fan, I take it?”

I swallowed and tried to ignore how confused my tongue was. “Um, I guess the wine I had before wasn’t quite so...bitter? I’ve only had sweet wines back home.”

“Ahhhh,” she said as she took a sip from her glass with ease. “Yeah, Merlot is far from a Moscato for sure. Or your garden variety gas station wines.”

“You know about gas station wines?”

“Of course I know about gas station wines! When you’ve had a long night out and you need something to hit the spot and carry you on to sleep? Nothing better.” I lifted my glass to take another sip, but thought better of it. “So, tell me. What made you choose this place, Sheldra?”

My name sounded like music on her lips. “Well, I uh, I knew this was a special occasion. And I wanted to choose someplace special.”

Carmel broke into a huge grin at this response. “So, for you, fancy restaurant equals special?”

“Well, no. Not for me anyway. But I felt on the first date, I really needed to make a good first impression.”

“Well, I am quite impressed. However, we definitely don’t have to stay here. I honestly could just go for a taco. You like tacos?”

“Um, yeah. I do. Well, I mean, does Taco Bell count?” And then, Carmel snorted. She actually snorted. It was my turn to grin.

“While I definitely love me a chalupa, I was thinking a bit more...authentic?”

“Oh. Yeah. That sounds great. If you’re sure.”

“I am,” she said, with a look that expressed just how sure. Then she took a dip swig of her Pinot Noir and reached for her purse. ”Alright then, let’s go.

“Wait, now? Don’t we have to wait til she comes back?”

“Nah, not necessary.” And before I could respond, Carmel was pulling out her wallet. I opened my mouth to protest but she put up my hand to stop me. “Look, I’m the one ruining the nice dinner you had planned. Let me cover it.” She put a $50 bill on the table, placing her glass on top of it for good measure. “That should cover our wine and part of the tip she would get from our food.” Carmel then stood and reached her hand out to me. Her umber eyes danced mischievously. “So, Shel. Tell me. Do you trust me?”

I exhaled slowly, trying to catch up with the moment. I took her in, this beautiful creature with disarming wit and adorable facial expressions. A vision, who caused my heart to thump uncomfortably in my chest. But I didn’t mind. It honestly was something out of a queer fairytale.

“Don’t be shy,” she said, moving closer to me. “I don’t bite.” And I don’t know what came over me in that moment. Maybe it was the good conversation. Or the half sip of wine. Or maybe it was because she was just so impossibly close. But before I knew what I was doing, I pulled Carmel into my lap, her body small and warm next to mine. She gasped but leaned against me. I breathed her in, her scent an intoxicating blend of jasmine and cocoa butter with just a hint of citrus. She smelled like springtime. My absolute favorite season.

“Sorry,” I said, though I was far from it. It just felt like the thing you say when you suddenly pull a stranger into your lap without asking. But nothing about her felt strange.

Carmel nuzzled my neck. “What for? I’m not complaining. I honestly could stay here all day.” She sighed contentedly before standing back up. “But I don’t know how long that food truck is going to stay and we got a bit of a walk.”

“A walk? Well, I brought my car. We can just drive.”

Carmel shook her head. “Nah, not at this hour. Parking alone would be a nightmare. But come on. It’s really not that far.”

I finally stood, feeling a bit wobbly. “Yeah, okay.” This girl has got me all kinds of dazed. “Let’s do it.”

Carmel flashed a smile and then spun on her heel. “You’re going to love it,” she exclaimed before leading the way.

The walk was certainly far from short. By block three, I knew I had been misled. But fortunately, I didn’t mind. On the contrary, I quite enjoyed walking together, side by side. Sorting through the basic facts about one another: where were you born, what did you wanna be as a kid, if you were a Ninja Turtle which one would you be, etc. Discussing half-baked philosophies and realized disappointments, always ending with a joke or a turn of phrase. And then at some point, we started to hold hands. The feel of her slender hand in mine, fingers entwined in formations I hadn’t attempted in hand holding since my first crush, Lisa. Another brown-skinned beauty who hit me like a semi.

Far too soon, we reached the food truck. We released each other, both annoyed at having to. “Oh shit!” Carmel exclaimed. “I can’t believe there’s no line. This is fate, I swear.” We hurried to the counter. “So I could tell you were a little nervous about tacos earlier. So, is there anything else on the menu that looks good?” She pointed to a menu hanging above an agitated young man sweating inside.

I squinted. I knew more stuff on this menu than the last, but nothing well enough to order. I almost turned to tell her as much when I saw an old familiar friend. Nachos. “I’ll have the Ultimate Loaded Nachos.” Carmel raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure? Because those are spicy, now.”

I rolled my eyes. “Look, I know I’m not Texas southern but I can handle some heat.”

“Okay, den. I’ll let you do you.” She gave me a look, which I was getting better at reading her expressions. This one definitely said, It’s your funeral, but who am I to stop you? Little did she know I always loved a challenge. She then turned to the now impatient and agitated guy behind the counter but I stopped her.

“Look, I can’t let you cover me again.”

“What do you mean? What, is this some sort of chivalry thing?”

“Well, kinda. It’s just, I asked you out. Technically. Well, I asked Brenda to talk to your friend and ask you out. I just feel...that I should pay, you know?”

Carmel nodded, as though considering it. “Yeah, that all sounds very reasonable. Logical, even. But also…” She spun around. “Can I get two steak birria tacos and an order of your ultimate nachos? Oh and two guava Jarritas.”

“Sure thing.”

I huffed. “So now I don’t even get to choose my drink?”

She waved her hand. “Irrelevant. Guava is the best flavor, so there are no other choices.”

I laughed. She certainly was a bossy one. But I liked it. “Well, I’m so glad to know that I have a say in this date.”

“I did kind of take over, didn’t I? I’m sorry. I have a habit of doing that.” She suddenly looked almost...worried. “But honestly, if you want to get something else to drink, I totally understand.”

“Carmel. It’s fine. Really.”

She exhaled. “Okay. Good. Sorry. Sometimes I’m not sure if my take-charge attitude comes off as cute and charming or...soul-crushingly obnoxious?”

“Well, I can’t speak for everyone but I find it...infuriatingly attractive.”

She giggled and pulled out her wallet. Then she leaned up, her lips inches from my ear. "Don’t worry, it really is my treat. I snagged a new sponsor today for my vlog and was itching for a way to celebrate. Can’t think of a better way, really. It’s not everyday I get to spend time with someone like you.” Her words made me glowy.

After paying the long-suffering gentleman, we moved aside for the now growing line. We quickly resumed our hand holding, and I wondered why the hell we had stopped in the first place. She hummed softly to herself as we waited, and I swayed gently to the sound of her lyrical voice. She caught me swaying and smiled. “You like?”

“Yeah. For sure. What is it?”

“I have absolutely no clue. I just made it up.” I chuckled. “But from now on it will be our waiting song.”

“Our waiting song? Well aren’t you forward?”

“What, you want a different song?”

“Well, I’m just saying. You sure are assuming a lot. Not only are you assuming we will see each other after this date, but that you and I will be together long enough to need a waiting song.”

“I just like to be prepared,” she said with a shrug. “And since you feeling it, I figured we better nail it down now.”

“Smart. Though I have a feeling, that you’ve already forgotten that song and we’re going to have to choose something else anyway.”

“Ugh, no I haven’t!” Carmel protested. She began to hum again, offering some mangled version of the previous ditty. She huffed. “Whatever. That just means that our actual waiting song is going to be even more amazing. It’s going to blow your mind..whenever I make it up.”

“I have confidence. You are quick on your feet. Like a cat.”

“Not a cat. I hate cats.”

“How can you hate cats?”

“Um, how can you not? They are sneaky and mean and lick themselves??? Like, what is that about?”

“Uh, it’s called grooming? Also, I don’t know what y’all’s city cats are like but the strays back where I’m from just want food and a scratch behind the ears.”

“Behind the ears? I don’t get that.”

“What don’t you get? It feels good. Just like it does with humans.” Carmel gave me another look, this one I didn’t quite recognize. “What, you’ve never been touched behind the ears?”

She shrugged. “Never thought about it really.”

“Okay,” I said and faced her. “No time better than the present to try it, right?” She nodded, that uncertainty creeping back into her expression. “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

Carmel scoffed. “Well, I don’t need to be-” Then all speech stopped. I ran my index finger along the back of her ear, enjoying the feel of its curve. I moved it slowly, wanting to savor the feel of her skin and the act of being the first to touch her there. I brought my thumb to her earlobe and caressed gently. Carmel closed her eyes and I swear if she could have, she would have purred. I moved my thumb up her ear, doing my best to memorize each line and dip. Because while I definitely hoped we would see each other again, nothing was ever guaranteed.

Then Carmel’s eyes flew open, full of something else I didn’t quite recognize. So I began to pull away. But she stopped me, leaning into my hand and resting her cheek against my palm. Heat travelled up my arm as my fingers tingled with want. And before I knew it, her lips were on mine and soon I wasn’t sure where I ended and she began. I lifted her slightly off the ground, wanting to pull her impossibly closer. Her hands then moved into my hair, sending tingles down my spine. I don’t know how long we were entangled like that, but I do remember how she felt like sunshine and tasted like home. And for the first time in my life, I genuinely saw fireworks.

Oh yeah, I thought to myself. I’m gay gay.