Overthinkers are true benefiters?/Music is a great icebreaker
Overthinking and relationship building.
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- Overthinkers are true benefiters?
I recently saw a quote that defined overthinking as “the art of creating problems that weren’t even there” and I immediately agreed. Upon first thought, I considered this to be accurate due to experience but after some time I remembered the benefits of overthinking or rather proper processing.
Everything can and does affect everyone in different ways which could result in overthinking about the situation in an attempt to either avoid further mistakes or for general clarity. However, it can become overwhelming when it does not yield any results and instead leaves you in stress, confusion, frustration and possibly fear.
My example of this is the character Chidi from the Netflix series, The good place. (Great watch by the way)
He was a natural overthinker that was very indecisive which to our surprise caused his death.
SIDE NOTE:- I feel the cause of his death could be up for debate because he was actually contemplating on which bar to go to with his friend but was standing at the spot an air conditioner fell on which resulted in his death. It could be argued that he may not have moved even if he had picked a spot or it was not his fault but the air conditioner’s fault, which was actually his. He had hit it when he was reviewing his best man speech in his apartment possibly making it loose and it still being his fault… okay, end of that.
I don’t know if he ever conquered it because I haven’t watched the last season yet but like him, we worry so much about what is going to happen from our choices or lack of choices and end up in an unsolved predicament most of the time. Although, the back and forth of thoughts could be beneficial in making a choice as long as the issue is not overly dwelt on with no outcome because this way, we carefully weigh our options instead of being impulsive.
- Music is a great icebreaker
Songs have always been able to alleviate and boost emotions in situations, but I have noticed that it’s also a great icebreaker in conversations. We all have favourites in artists and genres, some are more similar to others while some are a lot more different from others. This does not necessarily have to be negative as long as people keep an open mind towards each other’s likes and recommendations.
I would say I have an open mind about music because I just like what I like. Although, I do have biases like Afrobeat because that is what I grew up on. If I were to make a timeline, it would probably go like; Afrobeat (or just Nigerian music in general) then Hip-hop and Rap, then Pop and Electronic, ending with Jazz and Soul with inclusions of R&B as well.
I have had many moments with people recommending different songs to me (which might contribute as to why I like anything) and vice versa, some being great while aligning with what we enjoy and some being off or extremely different.
In these various interactions, I had been (for the most part) cordial with the people but a good example is one with an old friend that was at first an acquaintance. I would say that we could say hey’s and how are you’s to each other but that’s normally the end of that.
One day, he was playing a song that I knew out loud, I was minding my business but enjoying the song, so I lip-synced silently. He noticed that I was singing along and was excited that I knew it which led to a conversation about the artist, the song and all other songs by the artist.
That was a happy moment of bonding that eventually led to other conversations. We became more of friends after finding a mutual interest that broke the awkwardness and started a proper conversation.
I feel people bond over song suggestions and people with the same taste as them because people have a strong connection with music and meeting someone with the same or similar taste as you is a good feeling and an indication that you could have someone to share your music with or even be friends with that person.
Both were originally written in 2020
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