Our love was a victory

I still have my first memory of her.Hello, would you like my orange juice? No... Actually yea I'll have it. Would you like my banana? Finding out later Bananas' are the worst to some people. There are some other things that indicated to me people can be so nice. I was at the bottom and so was she. And as we began talking I was so intrigued by somebody who grew up with a stable, happy family but things can still be hard. The parts that really grabbed my interest was the trips to the better hospital. Never asking for anything while we were right next to the shop. I think this was when I made up my mind I wanted this one. As the unacknowledged youngest billionaire in the history of the world, I know what it takes for experiences to become future potential. At first, when I saw her art I was excited and inspired. We moved in together. It was good at first, but something changed. All the things that made her beautiful were pushed beneath the surface by what people as a whole have determined entertainment. Most nights were filled up by watching re runs of television shows. I always felt sick when I caught a snippet of something I saw before she was even born when my mom and here drunk friends had watched the same episode back in 1997. But still I loved something about her. It wasn't just her natural beauty, it was the young child look eyes would light up when something positive happens. Her eyes were so playful. Being told what and what not to do really started to change me. I tried to do everything she told me to do so I could make her happy.

Days would pass so fast, and my time was completely filled up with her requests. I tried to make time for myself, but there was always some resistance. I don't know what I did right but I don't think I was being fair in spending my time building my future based on the past scarcities that I had. I still remember the day I told her I wasn't moving with her, it was the same feeling I had when I told her I would rather be friends for a lifetime than a boyfriend for a short while.

I like revisiting my memories of her often, seeing her smile on the beach with the sun on her back after a kiss. Or her creative way with words, one of my favorites during the gobbling of a turkey sandwich, Lurking the Turkwich. I still laugh about this. But I don't get to hold her anymore, nor can I ask her how she is today. But I still have her smiles in my memories.

I learned so much from her, I think it has made me better in my everyday mood, lifestyle choices, mental capacity, and knowing once I had someone who believed in me. Even though I'm stuck in isolation and haven't had the physical touch of someone in months, I like where I am. Less stress and being able to make mistakes where I am only accountable to myself. I still like to fantasize about her in the sexy lingerie I bought for her. Even though she will always have someone in her life to love her, I think I made the right choice by not moving. I think it was just destined to not work out between us. I still love her, but in the way you love scenic pictures, music videos or cinematic masterpieces. I just get to spectate on them. She was wonderful but like a flower if you pick it, it dies. Sometimes you just have to let that flower grow and live.