Online Dating...ugh!

2020 was going to be my year where I was going to be doing everything imaginable: get my body toned, go on an epic vacation with my friends, find that special someone. Then, 2020 hit. Bad. The first couple of weeks during the lockdown, I fell into a depression. I thought that I would not be able to meet anyone. I was stuck in this rut and I figured: Maybe I should try online dating...again.

Nerves:

I bit the bullet and opened a dating app in July of 2020. I was so nervous that when I made the site, I literally logged off as soon as I was done. To be honest, I did not expect to get anyone wanting to talk to me. That is until I woke up the next day. I had 25+ guys who liked me. 25 men in one night? Wow that sounds worse than what I meant, but yeah it was pretty cool. Within a week, I had hit it off with this guy. We were talking for like three weeks. To be honest, I was about to give him my number, until I realized that he was no longer interested in me. It hurt. I had been ghosted and I actually liked him. I honestly thought, how can somebody do that...until I did it myself. I tried to have a connection with some of the guys but they seemed...creepy. One guy messaged me at like 10 pm. I had no problem with that, until he decided to video chat at 2 am. I only said one thing to him:

“Hey, how’s it going”

And he thinks it’s time for a video chat, at 2 a.m. C’mon.

Then there was the guy who did not want to give me his full name. He went by a letter. He was really cute too. He asked for a picture. I put my makeup on and was really excited..until it says that I cannot video chat with him because my phone was too old. At the time, I had an iphone5. I told him I can’t video chat but I can send him a selfie. I even asked if he wanted something specific so he knew that I was legit. He was okay. All good right? Wrong. My picture would not send for the life of me. Ugh! I sent the picture many times to his android phone and it would not come through. He started to say he was suspicious. I was pissed. I was putting more effort than him. He never offered to send me a picture of himself and when I told him he can look me up on Facebook or Instagram, he said he would. Never heard from him again.

New Year; New Dating App:

I was done with the old dating site. I felt like I was not meeting the guys I wanted. I was getting guys who were old enough to be my dad, guys who “liked” and messaged me multiple times even though I declined or never answered, and guys who I literally had nothing in common with. So, I went to a new dating app. I looked at statistics and found that the majority of people do a new dating site on January 3rd. So, guess what I did? I joined that site. I could not see who liked me for 2 weeks because I had to pay to see. Well, within 2 weeks, I had: 738 likes and 23 messages. Whoah! It was crazy! I never thought of myself having that many people like me. I went through all of those profiles. Out of 738 profiles, only 9 seemed normal. I know how I sound but hear me out. These were things in some of their “bios”

“ I am the type of man who is so sexy your mother will marry me and I will be your stepdad”

“Message me if you like to peg”

“Call me if you need a seat. My face is a great place”

“Only thick bitches”

Yeah. These were the tame bios. I thought maybe it can’t get worse than that. Well, the guys who I matched with who seem good, well they wanted to be friends with benefits. It sucked. It also seemed like no guys wanted to talk. I want to get to know you and hoped you knew me, but apparently you wanted to know my body. Then there was this guy who was pretty cute. I wanted to talk to him, but he tells me “You live far away”, then he unmatched me. Now, the reason this made me mad was because he “liked” me and messaged me first. Like wtf? I was not seeking you; you seeked me. In fact, you knew where I was because it says it in my profile. I wasn’t honest with my location on the last site so I tried here. Ugh.

I started to have a new attitude now. I decided to take charge. So, that is what I did. I changed my bio and basically said: “If you're looking for a FWB, or got a problem with my location, swipe left. If you mention Snapchat, swipe left.” I was done. One guy tried it with my location so I told him, “wish you the best. Bye” then I unmatched him. Seriously, ugh.

Anyways:

I know that I am not innocent. I have ghosted guys and I am ashamed. One guy reached out to me again and for the first time in my life, I was honest. I just told him that I have been struggling. He understood. Online dating is exhausting and I feel it is more draining than social media because all it seems to be is people looking for “Mr/Mrs/ right now” rather than someone serious. What is the rush? It has been a year and while I have yet to find someone, I now that someday soon I will find the one.