Online Dating
Online Dating

Online Dating Life

by Maral Nemati about a month ago in social media

If you want to fall in love swipe right.

Online Dating Life
Photo by Pratik Gupta on Unsplash

Tinder,, Bumble, Hinge.... the list is seemingly never ending.

Everyday a new dating app is invented and pops up on our social media news feeds that is rated as " the number one dating app" based on amazing reviews from a handful of people that got lucky and found the love of their lives based on a swipe.

In a world that is still on lock-down us single individuals seem to have a lot more time on our hands so why not give love a shot, and go onto a dating app, virtual dating is now an actual thing after all. Why not try our luck.

I have always been one for one on one in person conversation, I like to see the individual with my own eyes so I can read them, observe them , try to feel their energy but for us that prefer the traditional method of courting our generation and society especially now is not giving us that opportunity and so as the seemingly only opportunity we sign up for an app.

I have been on every single dating app, paying and not paying, I decided to give it a shot and boy was it not what I expected at all. This may apply to females more so the males but honestly single ladies when did dating become so detached? When did we agree to be placed in a pool of hundreds of candidates and think it would be so easy to meet the love of our lives.

I have "matched" with so many men online and if I combine all of their behavior and lack there of good intentions together and their ability to carry or even maintain and continue with a conversation I cannot relate and I do not comprehend it. I personally never agreed to be a draft pick in a pool of candidates who's female to male ratio is much higher. Online dating is The Hunger Games on steroids.

From gym pictures, do topless pictures of men, to couples looking for a third to join, I've seen it all. When the candidates are not showing off their rippled abs and golden tan skin on a boat in god knows where all I see is ego, ego and ego coupled with more profile pictures of your dog then yourself.

The rare "swipe" if you will leads to conversation, robotic meaningless empty conversation. Honestly I have been on many job interviews in my life and I really don't want to have to go through them in relation to my personal let alone love life.

Half of them want to come over right away, the other half want to start a conversation and then zero follow through. Why would there be a need to follow through if twenty other girls are messaging you?

I met a guy on an app recently thought that finally this was it, the online dating gods have finally smiled down on me. I was so excited, he was different, he was the opposite of most of the characters that you come across on these apps and we met up, hallelujah finally an actual meet up? is this happening is what I thought. Things went great, so much that we agreed to delete the app and focus on one another. Then two days after we made that decision I never heard from him again on a night that we made plans! Not to generalize he was probably just a bad apple but regardless.

I couldn't figure it out at all, what did I do? was it me? was it him? then I listened to my intuition and talked to some close friends for some advise and it dawned on me I had been traded for another Draft pick, someone else, someone prettier maybe, more successful maybe, someone that was happy with only a casual fling, why not no responsibility all the benefits, less effort, convenience!

I have come to the conclusion that you need to have a certain level of patience to continue with online dating and a somewhat lower standard and expectation. For those of us who need an actual connection not only physical, who need something more than just being picked based on what we look like, for us that need something deeper, this world of online is not for us, but in a world that is run by social media, online everything, convenience, easy access what are we to do? and what options do we have?

I know the choice that I have is to hold true to my values of deep connection, I prefer to meet someone in person, I prefer the traditional ways. If that means that I need to be much more patient and enjoy my own company for a while longer and focus on myself and my inner peace so be it.

I may be reaching for the impossible given our circumstances now a days and our technology driven society, but I am deciding to wait for the person that will choose me because they are willing to make the effort, take the time and sacrifice the convenience.

I refuse to be a draft pick, I choose to wait for the one that I meet organically the one that the universe intends for me to meet at the right time. I still choose to hold on to the hope that humanity and true connection is not defined by a swipe even as the entire world stands still, I choose to believe that as a women I am worth more than a "swipe right" and a 100th potential option, because I am.

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Maral Nemati
Maral Nemati
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