One More Chance

I lived a pretty miserable life. One I felt had no purpose. My days were filled with working many hours at the factory. I once had goals and dreams but those all faded away when I was in a car accident. My family and I were on our way home after we celebrated my brother’s 18 th birthday at his favorite restaurant. I was 16 at the time. We were all in the car reminiscing about old times and sharing funny memories. My dad looked into the mirror to say something to my brother. I remember seeing a bright light and then everything went dark.

“Where am I?”

“You’re at the hospital Emily. You’ve been in a coma for three months.”

“THREE MONTHS?”

I asked where my family was. The last I remembered was being in a car with them. I was told that none of them made it. I equated the feeling of losing my family to a knife piercing through my heart.

I tried to sit up but something was different. I tried to move but I couldn’t.

What’s wrong with me?

The doctor was giving me an explanation of my injuries but I wasn’t listening. All I heard was spinal injury and not being able to walk again. Everything else he said seemed to disappear into oblivion. I felt numb. I wondered why I hadn’t died and I pleaded with God and asked him to take me too. I barely ate or drank anything. I couldn’t sleep because the accident replayed so many times in my head.

I no longer wanted to live. All I did was cry. Everyone at the hospital grew concerned including my aunt Sandra. I was placed on suicidal watch for a few weeks and diagnosed with having PTSD and depression.

I left the hospital a few months later. I went through physical therapy and I learned how to use my new wheel chair. I would be joining my aunt Sandra at her house. She did everything she could to make me happy. I loved aunt Sandra but when your heart is aching due to the loss of a loved one sometimes nothing makes it better.

I didn’t want to return to school. I saw no purpose for an education. Aunt Sandra didn’t force me either. I reluctantly got a job at the near by factory and I’ve been working there for almost 10 years.

At times I would run into some of my old classmates but I wouldn’t even make eye contact. Some of them had been married, went to college and started their lives. Some even had kids.

My life felt empty and happiness seemed like a distant feeling that was always out of reach.

What did I accomplish?

“Nothing!” I told myself.

I didn’t deserve to be happy. I didn’t deserve to live when my parents and brother died. Aunt Sandra really tried her best with me. She often told me that she wished she could do more. She constantly reminded me that I was loved and could still live a happy life despite my physical abilities. Unfortunately I didn’t feel that way.

I was on my way to work as usual. Aunt Sandra dropped me off and then proceeded to her job in the city. I made it up the ramp. I am usually the first one there in the morning and I liked it that way. As I made my way to the back office, I thought I smelled gas. I know we shut it off every night but I am not sure what happened last night. I turned around and saw a few sparks. I tried rushing to the door so I can exit. I was a little too late and the whole building exploded.

I felt myself being tossed around like I was in a tornado. Everything was moving too fast. Then I heard a loud voice say, “Welcome Emily!”

Everything was completely dark then a bright white light appeared. I looked around and I was no longer in a wheel chair. I was actually able to stand on my two feet.

“What is this place?” I asked.

"This place is called between the after life. Its a place of judgement where all souls go after they die."

“Oh I’m dead!” I exclaimed.

Around me I saw aunt Sandra laying on her bed in tears. She was devastated. I could hear her calling out my parents name and asking them to forgive her. She did everything she could and showered me with love but she felt like she had failed me.

I quickly asked about my parents and my brother. I wanted to join them. Unfortunately I was told that I had to spend time reflecting on my past life before I was allowed to be with my family. Oh it’s a couple of days, I thought. That should be easy and I would be able to see them soon.

I spent almost three years in the after life where I grew impatient. I wanted to die and I prayed for it for years but I also thought that I would be reunited with my family immediately. Yes I was beyond grateful to be able to walk again but who cares about that when you’re still all alone.

Throughout the three years, I replayed my time on earth after the accident. It was only then that I realized how selfish I was. I did not appreciate the life I was given. I was often angry and seeing it from other’s perspective especially Aunt Sandy’s. I had so many opportunities to be happy, to give back and live a full life but I spent it sulking around and beating myself up over and over again.

“I am a terrible person,” I thought.

Then that voice that I heard three years ago returned.

“What if we gave you the opportunity to go back, would you take it or would you prefer to join your family?”

That was a tough decision. Tougher than I thought actually. I needed to really sit and think about it. I was given three days to make a decision.

Surprisingly after three days I decided to go back. I remember seeing a bright yellow light and the next think I know I’m laying in bed and my alarm is going off. I got up quickly and realized that my legs were fine. I could still walk. I rushed to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked different. It didn’t look like me. My hair was black with blond streaks. My eyes were a deep brown.

“Who am I?” I thought.

I walked into the living room and found some mail on the table. I was no longer Emily. My new name was Samantha. As I sat down to take everything in my cell phone rang.

“Hey Samantha! Its Kelley. Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

“Sure!” I said

"Why do you sound so different?”

“Who me?..maybe because I just woke up. Where are we having dinner again?”

“ Its at Flamingo’s tonight at 8 pm.”

“Alright Kool…see you later!”

I looked through my closet. Everything seemed so fancy. I guess I must be a fashionista now. I looked around at old pictures. I finally found a photo that Kelley sent me a few days ago. I had no idea what she looked like.

I met Kelley at Flamingos. She is a sassy and fiery person. She said she already ordered my favorite drink and that since I was now here, we could order some food.

“So,” she began. “When are you going on your first date with Daniel? He’s asked you out about 4 times already and you keep blowing him off.”

“Daniel” I thought. “Who is Daniel?”

“He’s a really sweet guy Samantha. Just give him a chance. I know you swore off dating for a while but I really think it will be worth it.”

We spent the evening eating and laughing away. This Kelley woman seems super cool. No wonder I am friends with her. After our evening I returned home and began to look into that guy Daniel.

I saw pictures of Daniel on my facebook page. We have been tagged in photos together. Daniel looked handsome and I had no idea why I wouldn’t go out with him.

The next day Kelley and myself got together with some other friends to play pool. Daniel was there too.

He came around the corner and gave myself as well as Samatha a huge hug. We talked about our work week and just spent the evening having fun. I wanted a drink and Daniel offered to get me one. We sat at the bar talking for a few minutes. Daniel has such a huge sense of humor. I couldn’t believe why I wouldn’t date him. I still couldn’t believe that I was actually having fun. Something I thought I would never experience.

Daniel asked if I would join him for dinner the next weekend and I said yes. I surprised myself.

This new life wasn’t so bad afterall.

I spent most of the week working as an administrative assistant. Something I was very good at and enjoyed. My life seemed like it had a purpose. I was so overwhelmed by it all that I had forgotten about the date until Friday evening. Kelley was coming over to help me get ready. She was more excited than I was actually.

I met Daniel on the top floor of an Italian restaurant. We had a private room. He got up as soon as I arrived and took my coat away then escorted me to the chair. What a gentleman I thought. The meal consisted mainly of pasta dishes and we were told that the dishes were best paired with Mojave Rain. The food was delicious but I was more enamored by Daniel. Everything about him felt so perfect. His smile, his teeth, his charisma..everything felt right. We were awaiting dessert so in the mean time Daniel took me up the stairs to the roof top. It was a bit chilly so he gave me his jacket. We sat on some sofas in the corner and had a beautiful view. He may have been focused on the view but I was more focussed on him.

The waiter brought us our dessert. It was a caramelized white chocolate bread pudding with vanilla ice cream. We each grabbed a spoon and began eating together. We accidentally bumped heads while we both reached for more of the dessert. We both cracked up laughing then he pulled me in and kissed me. That kiss was good. It sure sucked the air out my lungs and I wanted it to continue. He pulled away and our eyes locked. He asked if we could leave. He wanted to take me to one of his favorite spots.

His favorite spot was near the industrial side of town. He owned a small art studio. We walked in and he told me so much about where he gets the ideas for his paintings. Talking with him seemed so easy. I still couldn’t believe that I never went out with him before. We spent the rest of the evening discussing our life goals, talking about our favorite things and envisioning the life that we all dreamt of. I was getting tired and so he asked if I would stay. I agreed. We both laid on the sectional in the back room. He kissed me on the neck and said goodnight. I remember him wrapping his arms around me as I drifted to sleep.

I didn’t know if I was dreaming at first but I heard that voice again.

“Emily..Wake up!”

I woke up and here I was in the after life again

“Not now!” I yelled

“Not when everything seemed so perfect.”