One Month In

Ludo’s asleep and I’m ironically wondering how I’ve made it through the looking glass. It’s kind of silly, I know exactly how. Alice wasn’t such an idiot afterall! That’s pretty harsh, but hey, I said it. Crazy how I’ve evolved, mother to an 11 month old boy, and yet, no matter what, deep down I’m still the same person. There’s no escaping multidimensionality. So today I continue to write, and with my inner critic. I really like her tone: slightly masculine. Perhaps, it’s the tomboy that never tongued her voice. Be free little teen me! Anyway. My psychic gifts are still very much so active and I’ve organically settled on clairaudience as a preference. Some days are hard, you know, the claireverythingallatonce ones. Darn solar flares! Just finished a conversation with my new Selenite. She’s a heart-shaped crystal bowl and a know-it-all. I needed her to clear the negativity that’s been roaming around. She passed on a message instead. The process is alway so interesting to me. There’s no other word than, I just love it.

“Ludo’s cries are your source of anger.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Ludo’s cries are your source of anger. You don’t see it but everytime he cries you hold your breath which creates a stagnancy of air. This choice activates your body’s anger pathway which you then cleverly channel as strength to be there for him. So while you might have the energy to be patient, humorous, and kind, you're still slowly conditioning yourself with anger explaining why you’ve been feeling off and in need of an outlet at the end of each day.”

“That’s crazy! Why do I do that?”

“The root is not yours: women have been doing it since the suffragette movement. You all have access to it and it’s encoded in your gene pool as a program to expand from. Yay!”

“How do I stop this?”

“It’s simple. You just need to breathe and fill your heart with his cries. It’ll reveal a different way to fuel up.”

“I need to write this down!”

So here I am, writing it all down: how I’ve been given homework by a crystal. This makes me laugh a little. Not everyone gets it. I personally think it’s the Alice Syndrome; yeah, I’ll explain it! There’s something strange that happens when you awaken, to your senses that is. Sorry, I’ve got no better word, and yes, it can indeed sound so arrogant. You start to realise how perhaps, you were raised in the wrong La-La. Example:

The Alice Syndrome: having a lucid dream where you tell your cat that none of it’s real then waking up to the same.

This dream isn’t real, man! But consciousness is; no need to get high to stream it. And insanity is simply laughing at normality. I mean laughing laughing, not just your typical ha-ha kind of thing but rather the kind that makes you feel like you’ve been crying. Laughing through tears doesn’t quite cut it, but hysteria does. I digress. So it’s been a week of back and forth between catching myself or going unconscious in the act of it. I really do hold my breath and like some strange air vampire I just suck it all up as a strength supply. Talk about what the fuck! I’m always surprised.

“Hey Selee, does it mean I’m emotionally bypassing somehow?”

“Almost, had you and your partner not been all grrr at one another.”

“Oh–”

“It serves a greater purpose.”

“Oh, come on now!”

“It really does, and it’s all about lineage. To break it down, you’ve both managed to “prune” many karmic cycles within your own generational tree branch. However, this is where the next chapter gets lost on most people. There is no fairy tale ending; not in that sense. There’s just an awareness in nurturing to life a new growth; one that had never bloomed before. Your partner is both the vibrational match and continuation of where your father and his left off. You, same for the mothers. Together, awareness is what pulses light back to your ancestors helping them forth in the work to be done. Your future lined ones do the same for you. All branches are healed, always, and all play a part in achieving this. Time becomes the factor that allows this wisdom to be experienced. You are travelling new terrains; we all did. Ones that you are uniquely designed to pursue. This is your birthright. And even though we feel blind to a path rigged with challenges, light is what carves the Tree of Life. Stop being so hard on yourself! Continue to breathe. You are loved.”