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One Hell of a Dame

She's mad but she's magic, there's no lie in her fire.

By HC McNiecePublished 4 years ago 5 min read
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And there she was.

Beautiful.

Nineteen years old and had never left the country. Plans changed and she was alone. So when she received an invite to ride through Europe on the back of a bike, it was an opportunity she couldn’t resist. With a freshly broken heart and a ticket to England, she had no idea she was about to embark on the journey that would begin the rest of her life.

It wasn’t until years later that our paths would cross.

To describe Tanya, would be like describing a sunset after a week of rain—to the blind; especially when every colour is the most brilliant, effervescent shade.

Like hearing your favourite song in a foreign country.

Or running into an old friend during a layover at the airport.

Or bonding with a stranger who is reading the same book.

I can start by telling you she’s the type of woman with a crystal chandelier in her bathroom and a plaque that reads,

Charles Bukowski pissed here.

The only artist in an Italian-Polish family. Growing up in Toronto—with foreign parents—was challenging, especially when you have an insatiable desire to explore the world and no one who understands you.

I could relate.

Despite a lack of support, constant streams of doubt from every angle, and all the adversity that comes with trying to make your way as a young person in this world. Every set-back, struggle and all the voices telling you it is impossible. Tanya emerged as an accepting and passionate individual while still accomplishing so many of her own dreams. She was dealt her fair share of bad hands but, it’s how she chose to look at the experience that makes her different.

She was buying Italian Vogue for $30—in high school.

There is something refreshing about a person who can accept their responsibility in their own life. Someone who accepts what they have and doesn’t make excuses, who can genuinely grow from any experience and stay genuine.

She could kick your ass in a pair of stilettos with a cigar in her mouth and you’d still want to hang out with her.

Tanya hired the first transgender sales associate for a major clothing outfitter, she changed the bar scene in Toronto’s west end with her vision, traveled to five continents, has become a fashion maven and now owns one of the most magical homes in my city—not to mention she’s one of the best DJ’s around. She has changed my city and created a world so unique and original; an artistic haven for people to escape the ordinary and transport them to the magical, sexy, surreal side of life we so often deny ourselves.

Who could dance with you all night singing John Prine love songs.

It is not her success itself that makes her so impressive either, it is her style, charisma and humility. She’s just one of those people who you can hear theme music when they walk down the street; who lights up a room just by walking in.

She can swear like a sailor and serve you breakfast in bed.

When I met Tanya I was twenty-four years old and heart broken. I was struggling to establish myself as an actor and an adult in city I felt I didn’t belong in. Since knowing her, Tanya has provided closure and support I never had before. A true port in a storm, I think I would be a very different person today if we had never met. It was through Tanya that I had something to come back to, something that brought me joy again.

There are few times you meet a person who you instantly know they are meant to be in your life. When you just have to look at a person and hope they stay in your life forever?

She spoke of Moroccan nights on the back of a motorcycle with nothing but a Bunsen burner, flashing her tits at the Parthenon, hopping Spanish fences and eating the best oranges she’d ever tasted. She told me to never stop talking about my dreams because you never know who might be listening. She told me to stay passionate and say ‘Fuck’ a lot. She taught me that there are few things better than dancing in the arms of someone who loves you. How the most important thing in her life was creating something inspiring, not for any other reason than wanting to make the world a little more beautiful.

After almost five years of friendship and all our many precious conversations, she never ceases to delight, inspire and surprise me; as an artist, human and woman. She has lived a life that makes me feel hopeful about my own future and my own choices—no matter what they are. If Tanya believes it’s possible, you would be a fool to doubt her. Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you.

She is someone who makes you forget to look at your phone.

Through Tanya I have come to understand that there is no formula for a successful life, and you don't have to have all the answers. There is nothing to be ashamed of and there will always be someone who loves you. To believe in yourself and always finish what you start, especially when you want to stop, that’s when the real work begins.

A person so unwilling to let herself down.

I have come a long way since we first met, and I never would have believed we would have the friendship we have now. Tanya reignited a spark in me that might have been snuffed out if our paths hadn’t crossed. I am still very much a work in progress but through Tanya I have learned patience, gratitude and compassion for myself. I think I would be a much angrier, frustrated person. I am growing into a woman that I can be proud of, and I think a lot of that has to do with Tanya.

Another remaining romantics left, in a hook up culture and unwilling to compromise that about herself. She reminded me that it’s okay to still believe in love and in humankind.

Today I live my life in a way that if I were to die any day now, I wouldn’t do a thing differently. She taught me that you have a voice too and it’s important that, at least you can hear it. That anything you do must be done for you, above anything else, because you wanted to do it. To take any doubt as an opportunity to strengthen one’s own belief of self.

Meeting Tanya brought me closure and comfort, in a time I needed it so very much, she provided me a place to truly associate with home. After all, home is where the art is.

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