One Great Night

I moved to the other side of the world as easily as some people travel for spring break. I was adventurous and bold. My future self would say reckless and unprepared. I found that there are many daring, excited seekers as well as purposeful travelers who tread the same paths. Just as teammates or other members of special groups form close bonds, sometimes people who travel a less beaten path grow close in a way that others who have not been there cannot fully understand. As these relationships form, it is not unusual to keep up with its constituents over the years.

When I plan to travel, I may see whom I might have a meal with or use as a rest stop along the way. These are the friends who do not mind putting me up for the night and wish I could extend my stay.

These are the types of friends who know me well enough to know that I do not want to be in a crowd for very long. They know that I like a little adventure, but I would be just as content chatting on the sofa or watching a movie. They know that I don’t want a big celebration where I am the center of attention. They know that even if I get together when them as a group, I would want someone on one time with each of them. They also know that if I can see them, I will. And I have.

I have enjoyed meeting my friends in different places for decades now. If I could compile the perfect date, it would include aspects of several places. It would start with a group of friends on some kind of adventure such as the hike down the cliff to the swimming hole, a day trip to the non-inhabited island, a trip to the beach, or a ski trip. I do not know if I would enjoy an amusement park as much as I would have in the past. We would enjoy each others’ company and the time outdoors. As we separate, I would be in the company of a smaller group or one individual. In this group, it is understood that I would hone in on one person to lose myself in for a time.

This is exactly how one of my best visits started. After a brilliant day of enjoying friends and the outdoors, I was down to a few friends. I was to stay with my friend and her family that night before heading out the next day. As I was having an intimate chat with my friend, her husband came into the room. With a sense of urgency, he pleaded with me to watch the kids while he and his wife attended an emergency outside of the home. The kids were already in bed, and the sitter arrived shortly with her brother who had been staying with her for a few weeks.

As an introvert, this situation is both awkward and uncomfortable. I had met this friend of my friend on a previous visit. We chatted a bit, but as I realized the sun was setting on this brisk, northern, coastal town, I wanted to go for a walk. The sitter convinced me to allow her brother to walk with me. We were both very quiet and awkward at first, just as the sitter imagined we would be. I walked and thought and watched the colors change as I loved to do along the coast. I found a place to sit as the stars began to show themselves. That’s when Peter and I really began talking. We covered so many topics and conversation was easy. The night was getting chilly, so we headed back toward the house. We wanted to continue our conversation so we sat out on a hammock talking and looking up to the stars. We found that we have so much in common, yet we had enough differences to drive each other a little crazy. Peter’s sister came out with a red merlot and two glasses. She returned to the house.

After a few hours, my friend and her husband returned, crisis averted. They let us continue to talk while they settled in. To my friend, it was worth giving up our talk for the possibility of my starting a relationship. An hour or so later, I decided I should sleep and Peter went home.

The next day I was tempted to accept my friend’s invitation to stay longer because I did long for our time together. I decided that I should go. It has been several years since that amazing day turned into an amazing first date. Now when I go to visit my friend, I bring my husband Peter along.