OLD FRIENDS, NEW LIVES

We all remember the joys of being in high school back when we were young and semi-innocent. We didn’t have to worry about paying bills or working. All we had to worry about was passing our classes and eventually going to college. Those four years in high school were the golden years in most people’s lives. There was a diverse amount of people to talk to from different cultures and backgrounds that made high school life more exciting. Even though there was diversity in high school people still had their own cliques, their go-to friends who they can rely on no matter what happens. Of course we all had our own little cliques in high school, like in the movies there were nerds, geeks, fashionistas, jocks, emos/goths, drama kids, musicians, artists, and so on and so forth. Sure we can deny that we were part of just one group and say that we had a diverse amount of friends, but how many of your friends are actually your friends? All of your friends may say that they’ll stick with you no matter what happens after high school, but things can change real quick once you start seeing their true colors after graduation. Friends sometimes drift apart or they can remain friends for life, it all depends on many different variables. Which is why we have social media to stay in touch. Yes, it is a very addictive tool but it does help us stay connected with friends from high school. When it comes to friends you want them to stick around forever but we all know that’s not always a possibility, but there’s always a chance to reconnect with them later in life.

Having a close friend group in high school and staying together after graduation is possible but not always a reality. In order to stay together and keep that promise of ‘let’s stick together no matter what happens’ you need to give a little to get a little. Which is true, how much you invest into your friendships can have a very high outcome in your life and relationships with your friends. You decided to have these friends because you grew together during your young adolescent years. Your relationships grew close and you can count on each other to have each other’s backs. Your friends would hang out with you no matter what, even when you still had to have your parents drive you to the mall for a hang out because you didn’t have your license yet like everyone else did. You hung out with each other so much that you were considered part of their family. Things can change real quick. After high school graduation some of your friends may be going to college or straight to the work force which means you guys aren’t going to have much time for each other like you did in high school. You guys won’t see each other five times a week, or everyday if you hang out with each other on the weekend, so you’re going to have to make time for each other and work around each other's schedules. That does mean putting in a little effort on your end, even if you had that one friend from high school that would plan out your hang outs all the time for everyone in your group. Well not this time! Some of you may find it annoying now that you have to put in more effort into your friendships. I will say that you have no obligation to hang out or stay connected with your friends anymore, you have your own life and you want to do your own thing. Understandable, sure you can ghost your friends but that may hurt your relationship with them in the long run. If you do decide to end your friendships, who are you left with now?

Things start to change about you and your friends after high school, some of those things can be good or bad it all depends. Friends tend to fall apart after high school. Sure you hang out with each other once or twice after graduation but then you slowly stop hanging out and lose connection with them. Instead of meeting every week you meet once a month, then it turns to once every three months, then eventually you never meet but you still have them on social media. You may ask yourself,”what happened to us? Why did we drift apart”, well it’s a lot of things that we tell our friends wouldn’t keep us apart but it eventually does. Some of those things being; weight gain, drugs, alcohol, religion, political views, sexuality, they expected more from you, losing your hair, living with your parents, and there are other reasons but there’s too many to list. Why do we allow these things to hold us back from being friends with other people? Our views of the world change over time. Sometimes those views can create chaos among our friends causing them to end friendships.

Basically, your friends can be your best friends for life but you can fall apart from them. We just need to keep in touch with our friends and make time for each other. You will never know until you decide to message them on social media or run into them at the store or the mall. It takes a lot of courage to randomly message someone you haven’t spoken to for years on social media and ask them to hang out so you can catch up sometime. Of course, that person is going to think,”Why are you messaging me?”. Some people just don’t want to talk to you, they just want to follow you on social media and see how your life is going without ever interacting with you. In some cases if you do message someone that you haven’t talked to for years many different scenarios can happen. Here are a few that might happen to you; 1) They open your message and leave you on read, 2) They reply back saying they’re “busy”, 3) They set a day and time but make up an excuse last minute, 4) They set a day and time, you go to the place you were gonna meet them at but they never show up and they don’t reply to your messages that day after texting them to let them know you were there waiting, asking where they are, and eventually you just make it a solo day or go home. There’s plenty of bad scenarios but there are some good scenarios also. Such as; the person you message actually wants to hang out with you and catch up after years of going incognito. You guys set a date, actually meet up and start rekindling your friendship, or starting a new friendship, it all depends on the person you decide to reach out to. Always keep in mind that they may be your old friends but they may be living new lives of their own, so be patient and hopefully you’ll reignite friendship(s).