OFF THE LIST

Laura finished her shift at the Diner at 1:00 A.M. Exhausted as a lethargic Koala Bear she clocked out and stumbled to the car. Driving this tired is actually much more dangerous that driving under the influence. The car pointed home and arrived safely without incidence. Her robot mode skills of sleep stupor have been honed to Ninja skill precision.

At home, she exits her car with the grace and coordination of a slow motion epileptic zombie. Laura's mind now only seeks the target of her bed. She again conjures up spirits of Ninjas to help keep her quiet as she masterfully opens the front door lock and door without a sound. Creeping past her sleeping brother and sister the mattress was the only thing that emitted a sound. The day ended with that one solitary “Thump”.

The tugging at her sleeve summoned Laura from dreams to reality. Two sets of young eyes looked into hers. These were hungry little boy and little girl eyes. They were hungry because of Laura's double shift. Laura gathered the little Curmudgeons into her bed and they had a snuggle fest!

Laura lived for these moments as the planet expects and needs its sunshine to exist. She made a game out of the breakfast they needed. They all became Cereal Hunters and scouted out the kitchen for Wild Cereal. The game made a little cheer of wheat flakes with no sugar and the last of the milk.

The bright glorious thing about today was not having to go to work. Even better than having this one day off, it was Pay Day as well! She got the little munchkins dressed and ready for school and with the diligence of a parent, and grilled them on their homework assignments. For all the hell Laura had been through, she was blessed with well-behaved and loving siblings.

Laura gave Timmy and Samantha a very long and strong hug each before sending them off to the bus. She showered and put on her favorite clothes. She looked in the mirror at herself in normal clothes and not the uniform that stinks of the food she serves. Her clothes made her feel human again. She felt like herself and that felt good. Looking good and feeling confident, she practically ran down the stairs and out of the house.

It was early and she was ready to take on the day, but first she had to deposit her check and maybe get a few dollars back to buy a special dinner for tonight. She drove to the bank and used the drive thru. The lobby was closed because of..... you know. After endorsing her check and requesting a whopping $20 cash back, the vacuum tube returned her deposit slip.

That is when everything in her life changed!

The slip she received back showed her deposit of $445.69 - $20 cash back with and ending balance of $20.461.23. Laura glanced at it, by instinct put the car in gear, and started rolling away. Then reality sunk in as she stomped on the brakes with all her might. She and everything in her car went lurching forward. The tires screeched, her brake light flashed red and she backed up 3ft. Laura immediately began talking to the teller as if she could hear before she stopped and realized the button needed to be pressed.

“There's been a mistake,” she said. “You put too much money in my account,” Laura said. “The clerk laughed and replied, “You know I don't hear that one too often”. After 10 minutes of bickering and arguing about the situation, Laura was invited into the lobby to speak to a supervisor.

Mask to mask no one can tell if you are smiling or scowling. She greeted the lobby guard and walked up directly to another man that you could tell mask or no mask was not smiling. This was the supervisor. Laura began by blurting “My account there's been a mistake”.

The man she spoke to had no sense of compassion, humor or care for anybody as was obvious by his stern and emotionless reply. “We don't make mistakes Mam”. Laura was distraught. A mistake had been made and she felt that she would be held liable for it.

The supervisor robot man produced a manila portfolio containing a file of her account. “Right here” he said “Two days ago March 20th it shows a cash deposit of $20,000. Like you, the man that made this deposit insisted on speaking to me, counted out the money and handed it to me, along with your name, address and birthdate. He only said make sure you get the right account. Like I told you, I told him. We don't make mistakes” “Mam, this is your back account. You may do with it what you want. You are now wasting my time. Unless you have other business I recommend you move along.” He pointed to the lobby door said to Laura “It's time for you to go”.

When depraved of sleep Laura would enter a stupor. That type of stupor was nothing like the alien world she now found herself. She missed the turn in to the grocery store and had to back track to reach it. Laura carefully spent the $20 on tonight's special dinner. She was very good at adding and figuring the total and the tax. It came to $19.87.

On the way out the cash machine caught Laura's eye. She checked her balance and it read $20,461.23. Laura decided to make a withdrawal, just to see if this was as real as it seemed. She went big and withdrew $500. It was a stack of 25 twenty-dollar bills. The receipt she received now read $19.961.23. Technically, she no longer had $20,000.

Laura spent the day running errands and paying bills. It was a day off work, but not a day without work. 3:30 came in a flash and the kids were met right at the bus stop. They held hands and skipped home together. Even while playing with the kids, and making dinner, the money thing was always on her mind. The three of them shared a fabulous dinner and evening together. The time passed too fast and bedtime came sooner than expected. Early to bed for children and early to bed for Laura as well.

This night was not the pass out as you hit the pillow type sleep. It was the tossing and turning, rolling all over the bed type sleep. It was not relaxing, but fortunately, for Laura it was enough.

In the morning, there was only barely time to get herself and the kids ready and out the door before her usual morning shift. Laura clocked in on time, and went right to work waiting tables and pouring coffee. She had her regular customers she saw every day, and among those, she had her favorites and then there were those that nobody cared to serve. They would take turns with those people.

Today was like most every other day. That is why Laura did not care for her job. It was always the same. Laura served meals, snacks and coffee. Laura was pleased to have one of her favorite customers first this shift. Ms. Stewart always had the same thing, oatmeal extra thick with brown sugar and she liked her coffee extra creamy with no sugar. Ms. Stewart was always in a pleasant mood. Laura liked her because her mood was contagious. When she was down, Ms. Stewart's bright smile and happy disposition would rub off on Laura. Ms. Stewart always left the same tip, maybe because she always ordered the same thing. Laura looked at Ms. Stewart as she was paying her check. Her contagious smile infected her. Ms. Stewart thanked Laura for her breakfast and handed her the standard $2 tip.

It hit Laura like a ton of bricks. Suddenly she was overcome with emotion. Laura realized that she had given her $2 a day, five days a week for nearly every week of the year. Laura knew that little amount of money added up and it had been what helped keep her family afloat. Laura did not take the $2. What she did was explain to Ms. Stewart how much she appreciated her tipping every day and what it had meant to her. She then gave Ms. Stewart $60. Laura said, “I came into a little bit of money and I want to give you a tip”. She was dumbfounded and really did not know what to say. Laura insisted she take the money and Ms. Stewart left with and even bigger smile on her face than she walked in with. The rest of the morning went this way, with Laura tipping her customers, even the ones she didn't know. She made everyone smile and everyone happy. This happiness felt even better to Laura.

Around noon, a man came in that the entire staff recognized. He was one of those patrons they took turns with. Today it was Laura's turn. It is not as if he was a bad person, he just wasn't so friendly. He was very picky about his orders and left only change as a tip no matter what the check amount added up to be. Besides these habits, the only other thing known about him was his name. John always insisted sitting in the back and wanted a whole booth even though he was just one person.

Laura was beaming from her generosity high. She seated John in the lonely back booth and took his order in a timely fashion. Everyone had learned what John liked and didn't. He was quick with his opinion. Laura knew John would require special attention. Laura did her best to please him today. She was on a roll making people happy and John would be her next satisfied customer.

Evidently, Laura did a perfect job. John did not complain about anything. When John was finished, Laura promptly brought him his check. This was another one of his quirks that upset him. John wanted his check promptly after he finished his meal. Laura handed him the check and then informed him “John I bought your lunch today, and on top of that I'm giving you the tip today. Here's $20! Thanks for coming in and seeing us so frequently”. When John looked up and smiled, it didn't surprise Laura. She had been having that effect on people all day. John said “Thank you” This did surprise Laura. No amount of super human service ever performed for John received a “Thank You”.

John continued to smile as he reached into his jackets breast pocket. He spoke to Laura and said “Laura please wait a moment, there's something I want to talk to you about”. He pulled out a little black book and opened it on the table in front of her.

“Laura?” Laura did not know he knew her name and now here he was talking to her, as if she was human. “Laura?” Laura was confused! A moment ago, she was on top of the world, riding a high like a Fairy God Mother. “Laura”? John said louder. “Could you please spare a moment and sit down here with me”. John held open the book with one finger. On its pages were names with a line through them. At the bottom of the list on the page, held open was Laura's full name. John said as he drew a line through Laura's name. “Laura you’re ok, you passed. I watched what you did with the money and I'm impressed”. “Not only did you pass, but also you now have the record. No one learned and expressed generosity as quickly as you have. Congratulations!”

Laura was still moving from standing to sitting while John was speaking. A thousand thoughts shot through her head and she had become overwhelmed with thought and emotion. John said “It's Ok. Everything is going to be Ok. I'm proud of you and your behavior. You deserved the $20,000, but that was just the beginning. Wait till you see your bank account statement now. I think you will be impressed. Laura you’re not going to see me again. Believe it or not there are other restaurants I hang out in and make people miserable, but I won't be back to this one and neither will you.” Laura was awash with emotion and could barely get out a “Thank You.” John raised his hand and curled a beckoning finger. A woman shot up from across the diner and immediately came to the back booth. “Laura this is Gene. She is your financial advisor. The two of you need to get to know each other. I am going to say goodbye now. I wish you a happy life.” With that, John closed the little black book and put it in his breast pocket. He thanked Laura for the meal, picked up the $20 tip and left the diner.

Laura looked at Gene and said “Pray with me?