Now when we are little we all wonder what our first dates would be like. But I have my doubts anyone imagines their first date to be like mine. And if they do, you have to wonder what kind of person that makes them. Now, as my title suggests my first date was, well, a disaster is too nice a word to describe what happened.
So for this, we have to go back a few years to when I was 14 and yes I realise that it is pretty old for a first date. Believe me, my sister already mocks me enough as it is even without going into my love life. Or lack of it anyway.
So I was going out with this guy called..."Jack" yeah, let's go with "Jack." Anyway, "Jack" had decided that we were going to go out for dinner which was fine and pretty fun actually. The problem was what happened after. You see being the 14 year olds that we were, we had to wait for our parents to come pick us up. This was already a mood-killer, who wants to be mocked by their parents on their first date, in front of their first date? Not me, that much you can be certain.
"Jack" had the great idea of going to the Kiddy Park nearby, which would have been fine. If it wasn’t dark and the park was on the other side of this massive field, far away from the nice warm Costa. So we trudged around five minutes in the dark to reach this park, which had seen better days. Looking back I can just imagine how bad that could have gone if we were anywhere else.
Anyway once we got to this Park, "Jack" immediately went to play on this climbing frame—proving once more that boys don’t really grow up till their 30s. Leaving me to awkwardly stand at the bottom as I was wearing these really cute hidden heel shoes. And climbing would not have been the best idea. But me being the dumb 14-year-old I was, and not knowing better was convinced by "Jack" to climb up as well. Getting up was fine, getting down, however, that was a completely different matter altogether now wasn’t it? Now I am sure I would have been fine if "Jack" had just helped me down but no, he stood there and laughed at my misfortune.
As if me struggling to get off of a climbing frame was the most entertaining thing he had ever witnessed. So I jumped which was a mistake, if I had been wearing normal shoes I would have been fine but heels? Yeah no, strangely enough. This is where the first bit of my title comes into play by the way if you couldn't already tell. Because to my luck, I had twisted my ankle. Not badly thankfully, but it still hurt.
And if my night couldn’t get any better, remember when I said the park looked like it had seen better days? Yeah, the moment I sat on the swing, I had maybe three seconds before it let out this god-awful screech. And snapped. This is where the rest of my title came into play. As yes, I broke the fucking swing.
And to make things even worse, "Jack" had caught the entire thing on his phone. So not only do I have the memories of that horrible night he has physical evidence. I am actually really glad we no longer talk oddly enough, even if I do have to suffer the embarrassment every time I bump into him now. Which thankfully is few and far between since he decided to go on tour.
So yes, this is what happened on my first and last date. Thank god.