Not what he seemed

After divorce I decided like many to taking time for myself for a while to "work on me". Really this was just that adjusting to survival mode and merging into sustain mode. I took a long while for me, I have kids and was married for 14 years, I needed time to adjust to life. But after a while it does get lonely, even with kids around and going to work there is that "something is missing" feeling that starts to sit in over time.

So I was ready, so I thought, to try some dating apps. I had no idea where to begin. So on to the only app name I could think of, Tinder. Right away off to a good start, I'm good looking, funny, so I had a great bio and the likes started rolling in faster than I could keep up with. Instantly started up some small talk with a few but fizzled out quickly. Until one early morning boredom hit and I decided to swipe through likes, I'm very OCD and didn't like to see a ton in the "Like pile", so I would often go through and clear out.

One caught my eye, and I think I spent a few mins looking at his pictures and thinking on a swipe left or right. This was hard because his Bio only had one line "Looking for my Topanga", it was intriguing, adorable and as a 90s kid myself I got it, it was knowing that someone was looking for something I was, no hook up, but looking for a relationship building off great friendship. Score! But why did it take me a few minutes to decide?? There was zero leading information on how to start a conversation.

What did he do for a living? Had he ever been married before? Kids? Pets? Anything...? Well I decided to take the leap and swipe right! Not even an hour went by and I got a message. A simple "your swiping early, LOL" In no time conversation took off, we messaged back and forth all day long, not skipping a beat, this was perfect. I was smiling ear to ear with every message. Gosh I wish I knew then what I know now.

By dinner time we had decided to exchange numbers, and text, get off the app and maybe even suspend it so we could focus on our conversation and what was quickly building. I had zero clue I was typing myself into the lions den of total narcissist and a string of what the hell just happened moments.

Neither of us could believe how perfect the other seemed to be, we matched each others spark of sweet and sarcastic to a "T". It was totally too good to be true. For him as well, by the first night he thought I had to be a friend goofing him and not a real woman he was meeting on an app and asked if I would Marco Polo him to see for himself that I'm the woman in the photos and not a friend pulling one over on him. So against my comfort zone of video chats I went for it, I liked this guy, a lot, so quickly. I sent him a little video message, and he sent one right back. Next I knew we were Marco Poloing more than texting and laughing even more.

A few days go by and we decided to met. Cue red flags 1-30 that I totally ignored beyond my gut. He wanted me to drive to his town, (30 mins away) to meet up at the mall where he "was going to meet a girl he had talked to before me, but he told her he made a connection and wanted to meet me instead", but he wanted to meet there at a set time because he was into Pokemon and it was some community thing going on. Ok we are in our 30s, but I decided to look past the kids game and accept because I think everyone should have something they enjoy and two people don't have to be into the same thing to work out.

Well I was late to get there, I got so nervous before hand I wasn't sure until last minute that I wanted to go meaning I then ended up being 30ish mins late, which I know is so uncool on my behalf. When I got there, we walked for a few minutes, and he then asked me to sit with him, I sat down in a chair and he walked away, I went to get up confused and he said "No, sit back down, you were late so in time-out."

Ya'll I should have got up and walked out right then!! What was I thinking?!? I'm an attractive, and very smart woman, why was I letting some guy I just met make me feel so dumb. By the time I had the "WTF" moment in my head he walked back over and took my hand and said " I'm just kidding, come on beautiful" and that smile, oh the smile. I admit this man had the best smile and laugh ever. So like a silly sheep I followed and spent the next two hours walking around talking with him while he did his pokemon stuff.

We kept laughing just like we did in our conversations, he seemed to bring out the best in me in the moment, we would sign along with the mall music, and everything that would normally take me forever to warm up to someone to do. So when he stopped to ask about making us a thing, I wasn't sure how to answer, I mean we are in out 30s, do people still ask to go steady? Seemed pretty fast too, but you hear those stories of people that meet and just know, get married after a few months and then spend 50 years in deep love. So I said yes, lets be a thing!

Before I knew it, it was time for me to be getting back home. I had kids to pick up, and things to do. But we were a thing now, so it was the I'll call when I get home and we would see each other soon. Gosh even while typing this I'm wondering where my head was. I get back, pick up my kids, swing by the grocery store, and he marco polo, and text through most of it. We were excited, and happy. He said he wanted to change his FB status, but wanted to give me a chance to update my mom on our date and such, it all felt like a bit much, but if that kind of thing was important to him, I didn't mind being "shown off" I guess. So I changed status, but instantly felt very weird and rushed on it, and did a totally altering thing...

Please look for my next part of this story, of the social media drama from hell, and so much more to this crazy several months...