Growing up, I have always been looking to get saved. Sadly, it has always been by men. Starting at a young age, I depended solely on men due to my high needs, and low support from my mom.
My first boyfriend was at 13 years old and he was older than me. He was the first to take my virginity, and introduce me to a lot of stuff 13 year olds should not be into! LOL. But nevertheless, I loved him.
As we both got older, he started taking CARE of me. Always bought me things I needed, made sure I always ate food, gave me money like ALL THE TIME. I literally depended on this guy to save me every single time—and he did. I think this is why mother liked him (Unacceptable).
Being so young, I never realized how damaging this behavior could be for me as time passed on. Clearly my boyfriend didn’t realize either! I wish somebody knew!
This relationship was a very emotionally abusive relationship. He definitely took advantage of me. But at the time, of course, I did not realize. Through all the cheating and lying... I still stayed. Well I guess because I NEEDED this man in my life. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have the clothes I had, the phone I had, and everything else.
Fast forwarding to three years later when I met my next boyfriend. He was my age—finally. He loved taking care of me too! Now, I never asked these men to do these things for me. They literally just took it upon their own actions to do so, and then I became addicted to this behavior subconsciously.
So I hope you guys are tracking! But the last six years of growing up, I depended solely on MEN. These men saved me. But, I was always a smart girl though, I knew deep down inside, that I did not want to take from these men. I was always independent deep down inside. So I had to find my way and I did. Thank God!
Fast forward to when I finally matured, and started working and getting my own money. It felt great!
But... the roles had been switched! Tune in.
I simply lost friendships, because they thought I was ALWAYS going to come to their rescue.
I’m not going to lie, when it came to the people I love and care for the most, I try to do the best I can in the moment.
But it truly was never enough.
No one is going to save you. Other people have lives. Even your boyfriend/girlfriend.
No one is going to save you. People will say NO, and that is simply OK.
No one is going to save you, not any person on this planet owes you sh*ttttt! I’ve been in a few situations where when I wasn’t available to assist the person's needs at their given time, they would get all hysterical, and try to make me feel bad about not doing it (Narcissists! Watch out for ‘em!!).
I know you’ve experienced this too!
No one is going to save you, you have to learn how to SAVE yourself!
Of course, from time to time, you need peoples' help for certain reasons, and we all deserve some help at a point in our lives. BUT, when you expect that person to ALWAYS do things for you in your timely manner, that’s just plain out wrong.
We have to make a way for ourselves just like anybody else does. Once you break out of the mindset that someone is supposed to “SAVE” you, that’s when you will be set free.
If you’re dealing with someone who gets butt-shit mad when you can’t do something for them at their given time, then try this:
- Set boundaries.
- Tell them that you love them, but you just can’t help them right now hopefully they understand. But if they don’t, so what! Screw them. *shrugs*
- Make it known to them that you’re not being selfish, you're just simply practice self-care.
Remember this: some people will want you to live your life how they want you to live your life. And sorry not sorry, but that's not how life works. I believe in setting boundaries, saying no, and expressing your true feelings, as a form of self-care.
We all have our own paths in life, and have different obstacles to jump over, different lessons to learn. You can’t learn your lesson, or become a stronger person if you always look to be SAVED by your favorite person. You must learn how to be there for yourself, because your favorite person isn’t always going to be there to help you.
You and the Divine are your only Lord and saviors.
PS: I’m so grateful I’ve grown to be the woman I am today. Through all the hardships, dependent relationships, emotional abuse... it all formed me into who I am today! If you enjoyed what you’ve read, don’t be shy to leave a little tip so that I can continue making real ass content, thanks for reading!