No One Ever Told Me

June 22nd, 2020 is a day that I will never forget. I will carry the sorrow and pain of every person that was there that day.

I want to paint a picture for everyone. Imagine feeling you're in the right place at the time and everything around you seems to mesh together wonderfully. You feel happy and feel as if a weight came off your shoulders. You've started experiencing new and better opportunities. Everything feels like it's falling into place and it feels amazing. Your daily life improves with your newfound happiness. You sleep better at night and wake up feeling refreshed. There's an increase in motivation; you start pursuing newer challenges.

Now imagine feeling all this, and then one day someone comes and takes it all away.

Then take that feeling and times it by about 70 more times heavier.

To clarify, I'm describing the feeling of when the President of the company I was working for came in on June 22nd, 2020, and announced at 8 in the morning on a Monday of all days, that our facility was shutting down operations and relocating out of the country. 70 plus employees were going to be laid off in 2021.

As I write this experience, I can feel all those emotions all over again.

No one ever told me how to prepare to lose my job.

Nor did anyone ever tell me how hard it would be to lose a great work family you grew to love so much.

I am grateful to have ever met all these wonderful people. It was truly a privilege to work with each one of these individuals. Almost everyone was a kind soul and no one could replace what was there.

I'm most especially grateful to my bosses and my department.

The amount of knowledge and skills I gained in my short time within the group will carry on with me forever.

To the fellow supervisors and leads that weren't mine but still apart of my daily life there, thank you. Thank you for making each day worth working. Thank you for all the helping hands you've lent me, and thank you for the memories I'll take with me everywhere.

I was extremely lucky to have two very laid-back bosses that cared about me as a person and not just an able body to do work. I felt appreciated and trusted within my own work I could do, that I strived to do more. I was able to build a friendship with them that I don't think I could ever replicate. To my fellow department, I want to say thank you. Thank you for making each day worth working. Somehow you guys managed to still be the reason I woke up and drag my butt into work, even after our heartbreaking news. I'm going to cherish all the laughs we shared, the small conversations that turned deep, and most importantly I'm going to miss seeing each one of your faces bright and early in the morning.

Right now I can hear the echoed memories of my department groaning at the fact I used to say good morning because it was always morning but nothing was good about it. To me, it was always good. I was always excited to see everyone and see what kind of trouble we could cause on a new day.

You honestly never really think you'd be the one losing your job. You think it only happens to others, or it's not too bad. But let me tell you, it can happen to you, and it may not be bad but it really hurts.

I think what hurts the most in my eyes is we all thought we were doing very well for the company. In December of 2019, we got patted on the back for what was achieved and they were excited to bring new changes in 2020 that would be even bigger for us. We made room for some new big additions that would cost-saving and would make the company profit more. Soon after making the new additions, we were hit with COVID-19. The pandemic really hurt everyone around the world and it made things difficult enough. Thankfully our company was essential and we were essential employees that we were able to continue to work, while millions of people lost their jobs because of COVID-19.

As we pushed through the beginning of the pandemic things got easier for us. Within our county, we were deemed one of the top companies when it came to health and safety during COVID-19. We had around the clock people cleaning every surface, hand-sanitizer located at every major cross-path area, and just everyone doing their part to fight this pandemic away.

Then came June 22nd, 2020. Since the pandemic had started, our factory was split up into block schedules. Our normal hours were Monday through Friday, 7 am through 3:30 pm. It was now broken down to 5 am through 1:30 pm, 6 am through 2:30 pm, and then the normal hours. I was one of the ones among the earliest group of people, and we noticed on this day there were a microphone and a speaker set up in the middle of the factory.

A lot of us made jokes that someone was going to practice some stand-up comedy or do karaoke. It was a Monday and none of us imagined what would happen next. The Plant Managers went around the shop and notified all the supervisors and department leads that there was an important meeting at 8 am by the microphone and all of us had to be there. We all wondered what it was about, we all speculated thoughts and ideas as to what it could be. Jokes flew around about all types of possibilities.

Not a single one of us expected such hard news.

As the President of the company made his way to the microphone, he waited until every person was there. He held a paper in his hand and began to speak.

Before he could even announce the news, I felt an overwhelming feeling take over. I didn't understand why until he finally addressed what the letter had said. It was informing him that a decision of the company had been made and it was about to affect all of us.

Our company was shutting down operations and relocating out of the country. At that moment it felt unreal. I felt like I was in a bad dream that I couldn't wake up from. I looked around at all these wonderful people and saw numerous of them cover their faces. Tears ran down so many faces. All the jokesters were silent with their heads down. Happy energies turned into saddened souls.

As I looked at each person individually I could feel their emotions. I remember walking away from that meeting and finally feeling my own emotions. I cried so hard. I had to make my way around to see everyone because I needed someone to make the hurt go away. Not a single person was capable of fixing that hurt on that day. I talked to every person I could, and I remember hearing stories about how long they'd been there. How this was the final chapter for some before retirement. So many people had to be faced with starting over once again and others were stuck in a place of starting over wouldn't be a possibility.

We had temporary employees that fled the property and never returned. What was the point for them now? A lot of people left early that day to take time to process what happened. That still wasn't enough.

It wasn't even a day later and they were already handing us our papers about our departure. January 1st, 2021 would be the final day. We were given papers describing our severance pay, unemployment, insurance, etc. As days passed, the motivation dispersed quicker. Things that were quick and easy became complex and drug out. Though somehow we still managed to keep faith the decision would be reversed and we'd be okay.

Months started to go by and the end date was split into 2 different waves. The first wave was for January 1st, 2021, and the second wave was for March 1st, 2021. There were so many things that needed to be done and I wanted to stay with my department until the end. But the reality was I was better off leaving sooner rather than later.

As we closed into the new year, I still didn't fully process what was happening. On my last day, I said goodbye probably a million times more than I thought. I cried fewer times than I imagined. Even then I still didn't process it. Days after my last day I still hoped for a slight possibility of change.

It didn't officially fully hit me until February 26th, 2021. The Friday before the last day for everyone who remained. My fiancé and I went back to visit our friends to say our final goodbyes. As we walked into the building it hit me.

The building was almost bare and my brain finally unlocked the final realization I needed.

This was real, and this was happening. I was able to see everyone before the end. I got to laugh with all my favorite people and watch the shenanigans of others. Those final moments will be the last best memory I have of everyone. Not because it was sad, but because everyone made the best of it.

I have pictures and videos I can look back on, but it's the feeling that I felt in those moments I'll remember. I'll remember how we pulled through this tough time and made the best of it. I'll carry these memories with me everywhere I go and they'll forever be cherished.

I dedicate this to the amazing men and women I met in this chapter of my life. I hope somewhere down the road this piece makes its way to you and crosses your path at least once. Only because I want you to know these were some of the best times I had. Even if we didn't personally have connections, you still played a part in some of the best memories I'll have. I wish you all the best and I hope life takes you to bigger and better places you could have ever dreamed of. Take care of yourselves, and I hope we cross paths again.

I am grateful to you all.

With Love, Angela