Navigating Through Basically Single

“Basically Single” is a real term. It’s the deciding stage between feeling so in love and wanting to spend real time with your significant other to being well… simply SINGLE. I, firsthand, can tell you how devastatingly alone this stage can make you feel. It’s a stage where everything is questioned, from second-guessing who we are to whom our partner is. It’s a stage that can ultimately harm our outlook on sharing our world with someone else. It can be a deciding factor of how we live the rest of our lives, do we push our fears away, tuck them deep away?

As women, we are labeled emotional without even opening our mouths. We are called clingy just because we want to spend quality time with the one we love so dear. Now don’t get me wrong, some people regardless of male or female may take things a little bit too far. But we are all after the same humanistic emotion which is LOVE! We all long to feel love and be unmistakably IN LOVE. When do we finally say enough is enough? Where do we draw the line? How do we decide if this is just a normal stage or a brick wall in the lack of growth road?

I seem to be asking myself all these questions, still searching for answers. Everyone has a different definition of love and we all have different ways of showing it. For myself, my love language is actions instead of words. It’s the little moments I’m doing dishes and he randomly wraps me in his arms to tells me how much he loves me to those big moments of shared experiences through travel with friends and family to making dinner or cleaning without even a hint. At some point, we need to search how we can feed each other’s love language rather than feast on our own.

I personally have some beautiful moments in my relationship that seem to be ever so fleeting that I am left starving. Hence the term Basically Single, this term to me is the fork in the road. It's those moments you are left alone on the couch where you now sleep, it’s the moments where your relationship feels more like a roommate agreement than anything else and the moments of feeling so alone when you both are home. The shortened conversations while moving from one room to the next just to have the door shut in midsentence. This is never done in a rude way just a not paying attention way, the doors are never slammed and not one over the other is more to blame.

The feeling of rejection is never an easy one to cope with but trying to find a perfect balance between both needs is a task I am willing to take on. Shoot, I LOVE the MAN. Miscommunication seems to be a deal breaker in plenty of relationships but it's worse not to communicate your feelings altogether. You just must find a common ground of love and respect when going into what could potentially be a tough subject. Going through the process and even writing this I decided to sit down and express how I felt and I put it out there and I mean everything.

We decided to try a date night approach. This meant at least once a week we would try and go out on a date night. Now, this could be anywhere from a simple walk around the block just talking to a dinner and a movie. Although we went from once a week to maybe once to twice a month, these nights have been a blessing and we are still a work in progress, but I am so excited to see where we end up!

XOXO

𝒟♡𝓁𝓁𝓎