My Wife Won't Tell Me She Loves Me (My Wife Never Says She Loves Me)

If your wife doesn't show affection then you've definitely got some concerns in front of you. Very often this is the first sign of serious trouble in a marriage. But at other times it's just a phase. But how do you know which is which? Well hopefully we can make some headway with this article.

First of all I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Having problems with my marriage for years, I got to a point where I just didn't even expect affection. We don't want you to get to that point so we have to fix this ASAP.

So Should You Be Worried if Your Wife Doesn't Show Affection?

Well, it's definitely a concern, because like I said it was a significant thing in my marriage. But at the same time there's no need to totally and completely panic about this. It could mean a whole lot of different things.

First of all let's look at the situation that your marriage is in right now. How long has there been trouble in your marriage? Has it been years, or has this marriage trouble just started? Or has there never been trouble before, but she just stopped suddenly?

Usually when the latter happens men will jump to the conclusion that their wife is cheating on them and that they're giving that affection to someone else. This is a bad thing to assume right away, and making accusations of an affair can damage a marriage that really isn't even damaged at all. Unless you have solid proof don't ever accuse your wife of cheating.

This does nothing but push her away further. It's also truly insulting when your wife thinks that you don't respect and trust her enough to think that she can do this. Not a good idea.

So then what could be the reason?

Very often when something happens suddenly, like when your wife stops being affectionate, then there's a simple explanation for it. It may just take some digging to find out what it is. When I say digging, I mean simply asking and listening.

Maybe your wife is feeling a little self-conscious right now for some reason or another. Perhaps she gained some weight over the holidays. Could be as simple as that, or could be something a little more complex like she took something you said out of context. Maybe you made a comment about another woman that hit home with her and her own insecurities. Maybe you were checking out some other woman and she got a little insecure.

Could be something that simple!

If it's been an ongoing thing, then there's a good chance that your wife just doesn't feel like being intimate with you. If you've had a lot of arguing and fighting in the past then there's a chance that you've said things that you didn't mean, but still very much affects her, and results in an even more troubled marriage.

If it's been really bad then she just may be pretty much done with the marriage in her mind, and basically indifferent toward you altogether. Scary thought, but it happens. It happened in my marriage, and I had to look high and low to turn it around...and in a way where I had to turn it around all by myself. Not easy! But it was worth it because my troubled marriage is no longer troubled, and my wife and I are affectionate all over again for the last few years.

So if your wife doesn't show affection anymore, it's not necessarily the end of the marriage. In fact it may not even be close. But it may be an indication that it is, it's up to you to find out and fix whatever it is...even if it's by yourself.

How To Have A Good Married Life

If you are to have a great marriage, if you are to have a relationship that is filled with happiness and fulfillment, it's apparent that BOTH you and your spouse must CARE about each other.

But, there's something that isn't so apparent about how people within a marriage care. Let me explain...

When you read the word "care" in the first paragraph, you may have thought to yourself, "My spouse needs to be more caring towards me." And, that may be true and we'll deal with that in a moment but first, let's check up on YOU...

All too often, married people:

o Care about what they can get from their spouse

o Care about how their spouse makes them look

o Care about what their spouse can do for them

o Care about how their spouse helps them fit the societal norm of being married with two children

o Etc.

But, they DON'T care about their spouse as a unique individual with particular interests and passions and they DON'T have a desire to lovingly SHARE in that individuality in a meaningful way.

As such, they DON'T really care about their spouse. They may have genuinely cared when they first got married but now their caring has DEGENERATED into a selfish caring.

Obviously, such selfishness is not the foundation of a happy, healthy, fulfilling marriage relationship.

So, take an honest look at yourself now. Just how much do you like, appreciate, approve, support, and even celebrate the unique individuality of your spouse?

Your answer to that question will tell you just how caring you are towards your spouse.

And here's the thing...without a significant level of persistent caring between you and your spouse it's impossible for there to be satisfying love - let alone lasting love.

In fact, all that can come from such uncaring is coldness, distance, disrespect, rejection, emotional abuse, and ultimately, the destruction of the marriage relationship.

Before there can be love, there must be mutual caring. Therefore, to enjoy more love in your marriage relationship, be more caring towards your spouse.

You can start by learning to chit-chat about whatever little things happen to be on your spouse's mind - and doing so WITH INTEREST and ENJOYMENT! Doing so will build an ON-GOING connection between you and your spouse because there's always some little something on their mind that the two of you can chit-chat about.

Now, let's switch tracks. How do you get your spouse to be more caring towards you?

First, you don't get angry or disgruntled with your spouse. Rather, you put REAL effort into enhancing and improving yourself, your skills, and your actions.

Did you RESIST what I just said?

Many people do. Now, pay attention...

Wonderful relationships come from being a wonderful person who has wonderful skills and who does wonderful things in relation to their spouse.

In other words, if you want a great relationship, YOU must first be the kind of person who has developed and who uses great skills in order to PRODUCE a great relationship.

Second, you stay calm, positive, and loving towards your spouse while communicating directly and firmly with them about the problem or issue. You stay loving towards your spouse at all times and directly and firmly communicate the thing you would like to see changed.

For the most part, people are UNAWARE of how what they are doing affects and impacts others. It's a RARE person who maliciously does things to hurt others. Based on this, your strategy is to lovingly yet directly and firmly bring to your spouse's ATTENTION the thing you want changed. Your strategy is to RAISE THEIR AWARENESS of how their actions or lack of action impact and affect you.

And, if you do this in a loving, calm, positive way, your spouse will inevitably receive it and make the corresponding changes.

Thinking about regaining the status of "Happily Married"? It is possible, and is not difficult if you think it is not. But exactly how you do so? If you would like the source most couples used to revive their relationship, strengthened their marriage, regain trust and love in the marriage and not giving up then visit this Helpful Site.