My Wife Wants A Separation But I Don't (My Wife Wants To Separate Should I Leave)
Are you in a panic right now thinking my wife wants a separation but I don't? You're not alone, it's happened to many men before you. But the men who did the right things, and changed themselves in the right particular ways are the one's that ended up with an even better marriage than ever before. If you're saying my wife wants to separate should I leave then you'll want to read every word of this article.
Is your marriage in a dire crisis because your wife wants to separate from you and now you're looking for marriage advice to save it?
If so I'd first like to say that I'm sorry about that. It's rough I know because my wife and I almost separated many times and I know how hurtful it is.
But right now is the time to take action rather than panic, so let's get straight to it...
Getting Down to the Bare Bones in a Time of Crisis... What NOT TO DO!
OK let's get clear. Your marriage is in dire straights and most people in your situation will do exactly what they should do and that's PANIC!
Don't do that, it will get you absolutely nowhere at all. And what I mean when I say don't panic is that you should refrain from begging your wife to stay with you for one thing. If anything that will make her run for the door faster than you could imagine.
Another thing that you don't want to do is go asking your buddies for advice. In fact don't ask anybody for advice unless it's that one level headed person that you trust and who will tell you the truth and not just what you want to hear.
People like your siblings and your parents will take your side even when you're wrong and give you the worst marriage advice ever.
Don't Do This Either...
Don't run off and obtain a lawyer right away. I know that you have divorce staring you in the face right now, and that you want to make sure that you do the right thing...but too often than not a marriage that can be saved ends very prematurely because one spouse went to a lawyer.
Your wife may go get a lawyer just because she's angry or because she wants to prove a point, but obtaining a lawyer right now is going to do one thing... set divorce in motion.
Maybe do a free consultation with one just for legal advice, but once you've obtained that lawyer you can be pretty sure that divorce will ensue.
How to Fix Your Marriage in This Much Crisis...
It may sound funny but right now is the time that you almost want to stall things. Call a time out so that you can clear your head and get your bearings straight.
The fact is that your marriage is probably very much worth saving but you and your wife have lost focus on what counts and what's important because somehow a bunch of crap got in the way and fogged up the mirror which is displaying your life and marriage right now.
So take some deep breaths and start to take action on fixing your marriage even if you're alone in the process. There are many things that you can do but just remember there's no part of your marriage that you can fix besides your part. Marriage is a 50 - 50 game and well...only your 50% is fixable by you.
Therefore you need to start doing some soul searching and figure out what it is about you where you need to grow as a person and as a husband and get to work on that.
Saving Your Marriage - Working Through the Conflict
It is interesting to note that in order for a husband and wife to be granted divorce in many states, they only need to present to the court that they have "irreconcilable differences". The fact is, that in every healthy marriage, there are usually always some kind of differences, what defines them as irreconcilable is whether or not the couple decides to work through them. Saving your marriage is not dependent on some miracle but rather on both you and your spouse making a decision to work through your differences.
You may be thinking at this point that your situation is different, you and your spouse scream at each other all of the time and it seems like it is always over some small issue, you just cannot seem to agree upon anything and it seems hopeless. Well, the good news is that you and your spouse are actually communicating, although it is through yelling rather than talking things out in a calm fashion. You are actually better off than couples who keep things bottled up and not expressing themselves at all in order to avoid conflict.
The solution is not to end the marriage, but to learn how to communicate more effectively so you can work through the differences. If you want to save your marriage, you need to learn how to communicate with each other. Here are three tips on how you can do that.
Tip #1 - Find the Time to Talk
You both need to allow enough time for proper communication, it is important to air out the things that are bothering you, but if you are not spending enough time together in the first place, your marriage will be in trouble. Start by fitting some quality time back into your lives. Make a point of having a series of "date nights" several times a week, this can be a simple stroll in the park, going for coffee or having an actual dinner date.
Tip #2 - Be a Good Listener
There is a reason why God gave us two ears and only one mouth, it is so that we would do twice as much listening than talking. This tip alone can save your marriage! It is amazing just how many husbands and wives tune each other out. Make the effort to listen to your spouse, it may be exactly what you need to know. While you are listening to your spouse, you should be paying attention to what they are saying and not thinking about how you are going to rebuttal, otherwise this exercise will be all in vain. Avoid the temptation of jumping in before they even finish their thought.
Tip #3 - Don't be Judgmental
Often times when couples break up it is because they start to live in separate worlds, they drift apart over time. The key to saving your marriage is by getting inside your spouse's world. When your partner is being particularly grumpy, try to find out what they are annoyed about by asking probing questions. Listen to what your he or she has to say and do not be quick to judge. One of the reasons why so many couples keep things bottled up is because they want to avoid being criticized by their spouse.
Pay Close Attention Here-
Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick that will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed, and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here
Now you can stop your divorce or lover's rejection…even if your situation seems hopeless! There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying… Visit this Helpful Site to find out more.