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My soulmate did not mate with my soul

Is that possible?

By MargoPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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My soulmate did not mate with my soul
Photo by Marc A. Sporys on Unsplash

No joke, this happened to me. It might seem like some sort of paradox.

A soulmate means:

"A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner."

That definition almost seems less than satisfying and doesn't live up to its name, until the definition of "ideally" is known.

Ideally means:

"Preferably; in an ideal world"

"In the best possible way; perfectly."

There we go. How many words have the definition of "perfect"?

Perhaps there exists a situation in which one's actual and literal soulmate does not recognize their soulmate.

It is probably rare and reserved for those able to bear it. It seems like an impossibility, but sometimes timing or personal issues can block romantic connections.

At least, that is how I am rationalizing my situation. My soulmate and I met organically and superfluously. I was not looking to find this sort of connection, and neither was he. He was physically attractive but also alpha-male level sexy. It was an ideal combination.

The physical attraction was there and more. Surely, soulmates are not connected on a superficial level only. We connected on a deeper level too. We had similar interests, and both relished in each other's presence.

Things changed when he shared a deep revelation with me.

He kindly explained that he was plagued with "sickness." He considered himself perpetually "sick." No idea if he was professionally diagnosed. Along the same vein, I am assuming he was telling the truth about his sickness. (he's one thousand percent trustworthy so I believe).

He said his sickness was due to perpetual mental health issues, such as chronic depression, after suffering some family issues years ago. He reasoned that it was severe enough to render him unable to form a deeper, more permanent relationship, and that it permeated his daily existence. He hid that part of himself well. Those, including myself, found his personality electric. Sure, he was reserved emotionally, but he was funny, interesting, and engaging. He seemed content and excited with the prospective of a new relationship.

This author did not find his honesty off-putting at all, including his illness, and her feelings did not change. In fact, he became almost more attractive. It is rare to find a man willing to share something so vulnerable. He could have used any other excuse or even led the author to believe that a relationship was possible. No one enjoys wasting time. The truth is not always pretty and rarely easy to accept.

Ultimately, he simply could not find it within himself to delve into a relationship. Was that also rare? A millennial man willing to shut off his romantic feelings because he knew that he could not offer himself to her fully, in the way she deserved? Undoubtedly, it showed maturity, wisdom, and discipline. The author was once again struck with reveling in his unorthodox male ways. Sigh.

Over the time, the author struggled with accepting the gravity of the situation. She truly believed that this man was her soulmate. Could depression be enough to sever that? It is like losing your other half and getting a heavy weight over your heart in its place. Friends and family found the situation upsetting.

Perhaps, one day the door will be opened again. But any rational person cannot help considering that that may not be possible. This man could potentially never escape the tentacles of this illness. It is a devastating thought, for both parties.

Humans are resilient. This story occurred several weeks ago now and on we go.

So, there you have it. My soulmate did not mate with my soul. But I can still love his soul from afar.

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Please view the resources below if you, or someone you know, might be struggling. (The resources are below are national hotlines)

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline ----(free, confidential, and open 24/7, 365 days a year).

1-800-662-HELP (4357)

1-800-950-6264 or text “NAMI” to 741741

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

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About the Creator

Margo

Professional by day; interesting and sophisticated writer (I wish) by night.

My short stories are a combination of fiction, fact, and advice to fellow readers.

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