My Party Friends

I walked into the party like I was walking through my soul; I tipped my hat at the door, adjusted my bohemian shawl and pulled my shoulders back. I glanced around and caught a glimpse of me reflected back in an antique mirror high up on a wall. My image was serene, poised, and confident with an arty sophistication. But my lashes hid my fears.

I picked up a glass of sparkling wine and used it to give me a veneer of somebody perfectly at ease. I crossed the room as if I was walking a wooden plank towards a dubious end. I really hadn’t wanted to come to this party as it sounded a trifle weird, but I promised under duress, my sweet and dearest friend.

I saw an eclectic assortment of people who I thought I didn’t know and yet… as I wandered the room I understood that they were my best of friends.

I bumped into ANXIETY and clasped her close to my breast, as if I was scared she would leave me alone adrift in an ocean of fear. We spent some time catching up, remembering school days of old. I had let her go a few years back and only occasionally thought to ring and have a chat. However today we were together again, best buddies linking arms against the world, and then quite out of the blue CONFIDENCE touched me on the shoulder and I spun around and saw her dear, dear face shining back at me. I touched her hair, her clothes, admired her poise and stunning red shoes. She laughed without a care in the world and heads turned and smiled at this most beautiful and articulate of friends.

It had been a rough week for me with PRESSURE dogging my heals as a report had been due by mid afternoon today, then FRUSTRATION turned up as the printer packed it bags and said goodbye, and I felt TEARS and EXHAUSTION lurking close behind my eyes. Lucky I had a friend in TRUST who always seemed to be there for me when it all became too much.

I hadn’t wanted to come, I would rather have stayed at home with SAD and SORRY however now that I was here I started to enjoy this party as I meandered through. I waved hello to CONFUSION, PANIC, and WORRY. I didn’t stop to hug and kiss. It was enough to touch glances and I had seen enough of WORRY recently and she knew to stay well clear.

I felt ENVY sidle up to me as I glanced around though she didn’t stay long and JEALOUSY who was usually by her side wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Amidst the party noise with JOY and HAPPINESS by my side I felt UNEASE gently bump against me then was quickly gone into the crowd before I could turn around. He was just a casual friend who never stayed in one place long.

I danced with CONFIDENCE when she twirled past and quickly found my rhythm with CAREFREE who was the best of partners with music flowing through his genes. HAPPY joined us, laughter spilling from her heart.

I sat down to rest awhile and once again felt UNEASE sliding by. As I relaxed into my seat I glimpsed a mop of wild curly hair and I felt my heart begin to lurch and pound as I quickly got up, almost falling in my hurry to escape the attention of DRUNK and DISORDERLY, passionate friends that I had travelled with from one bar to the next some very blurry years ago.

I escaped outside onto the veranda; into the cool and calming dark night. I looked at the stars up high with PEACE on my left and pretty delightful JOY to my right. She hugged me tight and the world settled into place as we all felt WONDER join us as we looked at the immensity of the universe and felt as ONE.

Then a ripple in the air disturbed PEACE and she left in such a hurry taking WONDER and Joy along with her. I ran to seek refuge in the ladies bathroom at the foot of the spiral stairs. I swept cool and running water over my face and neck to cool the inflammation that had risen in my breast. GRIEF came in and touched me as lightly as a whisper, so different from that time 10 years previously when she strode alongside my every waking hour.

This party with its abundance of friends was creating turmoil in my heart. I was feeling a trifle sore and battered from all the memories and feelings shaken up and stirred about in my encounters this night.

These friends, some of whom I had forgotten reminded me of times I would never have known, feelings I would never have felt, and I am, I realise so truly very grateful for their presence in my life. I love them, each and every one, for they have been and some still are, a part of me in this amazing kaleidoscope of life.

I walked out into the festive zone, and saw ANGER lurking there, red hair blazing, as if waiting to pounce, to shake me up and toss me into the arms of CHAOS and FEAR. I tried to ignore him and turned my back, pretending he wasn’t here. However his passionate energy wove out to draw me into a strong embrace. PANIC almost overwhelmed me until I felt LOVE and GRATITUDE at my side and CONFIDENCE smiled across the room. I began to understand that ANGER was also a friend. He is better understood than ignored that’s for sure.

This evening with a little help from all my friends I see that every part of me is wondrous. I feel EMPOWERED striding alongside me and LOVE and GRATITUDE sticking with me as I call it night.

I Am All of these emotions – not all the time – they take turns in the ebb and flow of my life. They each deserve to be heard, to be felt, and each to