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My Husband Left Me After 20 Years Of Marriage (Divorce After 20 Years Of Marriage Or More)

Are you sitting in a marriage right now where you're sadly saying my husband left me after 20 years of marriage? If so then you have to move fast, because it may be getting close to the "too late" time. If you're looking to stop divorce after 20 years of marriage or more and save your marriage then you've got your work cut out for you, but...By no means is it impossible.

By Charles BillPublished 2 years ago • 6 min read
My Husband Left Me After 20 Years Of Marriage (Divorce After 20 Years Of Marriage Or More)
Photo by Charlie Foster on Unsplash

The best way to tell this story is to start at the beginning. I met my husband of 25 years in a local park. We hit it off right away. He was handsome and I was young. I believed that he was a good man. We got married after we had been dating for about six months. I thought that we would be together forever. I guess I was wrong.

We had a great marriage for the first two years. After that he became less and less trusting. There were times when he would accuse me of sleeping with men that I did not even know. The longer we stayed together the worse he became. It really drove a wedge between us. I should probably have gotten divorced then. I did leave once, but he begged me to come back and of course I did. Things were good again until we had children. He once again became suspicious of everyone. He sometimes became violent but not to the extreme. Once again I stayed with him and stayed faithful.

As the children got older and he started working farther from home we grew further and further apart. He wanted to go out and drink with friends. I wanted to stay home and watch TV with the family. I should say here that my father was an alcoholic and it was the one thing that I could not handle. We began to talk about maybe getting a divorce when the children were out of high school. Most of the time it was when we were fighting so I never really meant that I would leave him.

One day we were discussing whether or not we would invest in real estate before we retired and he announced that he was not sure we would still be married long enough to invest in real estate together. I did not really thing he was serious. It turns out he was. One Saturday morning about a month later after we slept in the same bed he casually announced that he was going to the attorney's office to file divorce papers and did I want to go with him. I still was not sure he would go through with it. By this time we were fighting all the time. Things had really gotten almost unbearable. He came back a few hours later and said that I needed to go sign the papers. I shed a few tears and drove to the attorney's office. I signed the papers without even looking them over. He gave the reason as irreconcilable differences. He was right. I just never had the nerve to go through with the divorce. I don't remember much of what happened during the next week. I remember that he packed some clothes and left that same day. I have not seen him since but he does keep in touch with my children. I know it sounds silly but I did not want him to know how bad I was hurt. I guess it was just my pride.

It has now been over a year and most people that I know do not even know that I am divorced. I just told one of my friends last week because she was moving to another town. I was afraid of being treated differently. They all thought that I had a wonderful husband and marriage. Its funny, I was able to tell stranger so easily, but could not bring myself to tell my friends. I just felt too uncomfortable.

I survived this episode in my life and can now write about it because I have two very supportive children. They have been my rocks. My 21 year old daughter is my best friend. We tell each other pretty much everything. My son does not talk much but it is because of him that I am able to type this on Ezine. You see he and I are working on making money at home. They have both taught me so much about what is important in life. I just feel so good when I think of how bad this could have been after 25 years of marriage.

Today I can say to my ex-husband thank you for having the guts to do something I could never do. There are times when I am lonely, but I soon get over it. I think somewhere during my married life I lost myself. It really feels good to be finding myself again. I found strength that I never knew I had that helped me get through this period in my life. I can honestly say that I hope my ex-husband has found all the happiness he wants.

7 Steps to Pull Your Husband Back Into Your Arms Once Again

Whether your husband has kicked you out of the car on the side of the road in Alaska or has packed up his stuff and moved out of the house, the fact remains that you want him to come back. Follow this advice to see if it's in the cards.

Step 1:Is He Husband Material?: You made the decision to say yes to him in the first place but did things suddenly change as you became a union? Some guys just can't handle the monotony and finality of a marriage so maybe your best advice is to try and get him back without the pressures of being husband and wife.

Step 2:Do Some Wife Work: Marriage is a two way street and before you blame that bum husband for stepping out on you, make sure you were something sweet to come home to. If you reflect on ways you could've made the arrangement better, perhaps you'll have a better plan of attack.

Step 3:Have An Open Mind: Your goal is to get your husband back but remember that it doesn't necessarily have to happen immediately. If you keep an open mind, let him have space, and go with the flow you've got a better chance of not only getting him back, but keeping him in the picture for good.

Step 4:Where Did He Go: Is your husband simply taking some time away or is he using the split to spend your retirement savings in Las Vegas? You've got to really make sure he's not gone for good and that he was there in the first place before you attempt to win him back.

Step 5:Be Positive: Instead of dwelling on the fact that your marriage is starting to resemble cookie crumbs, instead focus on being positive. Think of ways you can get him back instead of how miserable you currently feel. In order to see the light at the end of the tunnel, you sometimes need to put on rose-colored sunglasses.

Step 6:Don't Drive A Wedge: The events that happen during a split are critical for taking the steps to get back together. Your marriage is struggling now but don't do irreparable damage by insulting your husband or bickering with him. When you guys do talk, make sure it's positive, constructive, and healthy.

Step 7:His Loss: Eventually, you've got to start taking the attitude that it's his loss for not being with you. You're a great catch and although he left you at a motel in Alaska, you'll have the last laugh when his car breaks down in the middle of nowhere.

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

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    CBWritten by Charles Bill

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