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My Husband Always Leaves When We Fight (Husband Leaves The House Every Time We Argue)

Are you in a marriage where you're sadly saying my husband always leaves when we fight? If you are, and you're feeling like your marriage is being destroyed because of it, then it's time that you understand the truth to why this is happening. If you're in a situation where you're saying my husband leaves the house every time we argue, then this might be the most important thing you've ever read.

By Zara VeraPublished about a year ago 5 min read
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Myths and Expectations about Fighting:

There are many myths and expectations about fighting in marriage. Couples come into my office frequently believing that fighting is a necessary part of being a couple; that all married couples fight; and it's a normal part of marriage. But the fact is that fighting accomplishes nothing, and it isn't necessary for couples to argue, to yell, or to have heated discussions to get problems solved. Hanging on to these ideas makes it difficult to let go of fighting.

Some of the most prevalent myths about fighting are:

*Myth #1: Fighting clears the air, and brings out the truth.

Fighting is not necessary to "clear the air." Getting heated up does not make you tell truths you wouldn't tell otherwise. What happens when couples fight and get emotional is that both parties say things they don't mean, or say them in much nastier ways than is really true. It is possible to discuss anything that is or is not happening between you in a calm and logical manner that will lead to more truth telling and air clearing than fighting and arguing will ever accomplish.

*Myth #2: Within your family, it's OK to "let it all hang out" - to be as emotional as you want, and say things you'd never say to a friend or a boss.

Whether you're fighting or not, (or drunk, or upset) you're still responsible for everything you say and do. The hurtful or mean or outrageous things you say will be remembered by your spouse or the other family members who hear them.

*Myth #3: Fighting just happens, you can't control it.

You always have a choice about your behavior and how you express yourself. If you've developed a fighting habit, or never learned to control your temper, you may need to do some work, but you can learn to behave differently.

*Myth #4: My wife (or husband) makes me do it. He (she) yells first.

No one else is responsible for your behavior. You are not responsible for anyone else's words or actions. You can always choose not to yell back, to speak calmly, or to leave the room. Your partner cannot fight alone.

*Myth #5: Any time we get angry, it's natural to argue and yell.

Arguing and shouting is not the only way to express your anger. It's just the most dramatic way. As a matter of fact, it's the least effective way to reach a solution for whatever is making you angry.

Squabbles often occur because you're following automatic habit patterns that lead to a problem before you know it. Using these guidelines will help you overcome negative habit patterns you may have built that lead to arguments or bickering.

Handling A Disagreement

Marriage is a journey of ups and downs and before long, you're in the middle of a situation wherein you and your partner argue about a particular matter. It may be because of something that embarrassed you in front of your friends or colleagues, or something that you didn't remember to do. Marriage counseling teaches you how to resolve these issues systematically and effectively. There are things that you have to know if you want your partner to understand you, and make them listen to you.

What Is Your Purpose?

You need to have a clear purpose in communicating to your partner when resolving a conflict. Are you going to defend yourself and put the blame on the other, or try to connect to your partner? Remember that listening to your partner is really important in resolving conflicts. Instead of keeping you and your partner apart, listening will draw both of you closer to one another.

Rather than trying to be "right" in the situation, have a clear view on what is exactly happening. People often try go crazy when conflicts come up in the relationship. Whenever you understand the situation, you will have a clear purpose on what you want to accomplish when you resolve conflicts.

In marriage counseling, there are exercises that the both of you can do in order to improve listening and understanding.

What's Going On?

So, what exactly happened that made a conflict in your marriage? Communication is the best way to answer this question. Since you and your partner have different perceptions regarding a particular situation, communication will result to understanding. Do not resort to lines like "Do not yell at me!", "Why didn't you do what I asked you to do?", or "That is it! I'm never going to invite you for a company function!" These things can do worse things rather than resolving conflicts.

Emotionally charged situations are the most challenging to resolve. This is why marriage counseling programs give you exercises giving more stress on the "I" part of the communications rather than "You". Besides taking responsibility for the mistake you did, it also enables you to communicate in a non-threatening way.

Addressing Your Feelings

"I feel embarrassed when you criticized me in front of my boss." This is one good example of communicating with you partner, putting more stress on the "I" and letting the other know how the situation made you feel. You can add the "because phrase" to address to your partner the reason why you felt that way. Lastly, you can tell your partner what kind of reaction or behavior you want in the situation that created the conflict.

You'll know more lines that you may use to address your feelings in resolving problems in marriage counseling. It is very important that you watch your tone when you communicate particularly when you and your partner are having a conflict.

This habit of handling conflicts take time to build. Exercises in marriage counseling programs help you improve this skill with your partner. Always remember to follow the golden rules in communication - do not nag, never blame one another, and have loving discussions.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again. There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by, Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

To learn how to save your marriage alone, then check out this plan of actions that is 100% guaranteed. Over 60,000 couples were able to save their marriages by doing the very same series of steps that you will be doing. If they saved their marriages then you can too! Click Here to see how it's done… All my best to you and your spouse!

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