My first love

At the beginning of July, 1963, the sun was shining. Rows of poplars stood upright on both sides of the campus trail. Looking up at the sky, it seemed that they were going to fly. Rows of classrooms were no longer noisy, but were scrambling for silence. They seemed to be thinking about something. The basketball stands stared at each other and seemed to ask each other: Why didn't you leave school? There is no table tennis jumping on the table tennis table, only a few sparrows jump on it, all the students have left school, and the empty campus makes people look strange.

I am happy to look at my junior high school diploma and return to the exam. Near the entrance examination, due to family difficulties, I suddenly decided to give up the entrance examination and drop out of school. Chang Shiquan, the principal, called me to his dormitory and personally worked for me, asking me not to give up the senior high school entrance examination, not to relax and get into a good school. Under the earnest persuasion of President Chang, I agreed. I told my grandmother when I got home. Grandmother said: Then report to the teachers, who don't need money. I promised. The atmosphere of preparing for the senior high school entrance examination in the three graduating classes is getting stronger and stronger, which is no less than the situation before the PLA attack. As soon as I entered the classroom, there was a big book on the blackboard: I don't want to read it! Yichang No.2 High School is a key high school in Yichang, one of the eighteen key high schools in the province, and a famous school and pyramid in the eyes of junior high school graduates. I forgot my grandmother's instructions. I didn't report to normal school, but to Yichang No.2 High School. Thinking of this, looking at the diploma in my hand, I thank President Chang Shiquan, who gave me a hand when I backed out and let me get the diploma.

At that time, the campus had no walls, extending in all directions, and it could be accessed from anywhere. I should have walked south, bypassed the canteen and copied the path back to Zhangjia Street. For some reason, I went north. Out of school, didn't walk a few steps, see there are two girls standing in front of the levee outside the school, seems to be waiting for someone. When I walked in, it turned out to be my classmates X and M. They fiddled with two long braids and looked at me and said, "Zhang Zhaoren, come to our house to play!" "OK!" I agreed without thinking. When she came to X's house, her mother cooked a big table to entertain us. After lunch, M and I left X, but we didn't go home. We came to her house with M, had dinner, and played for a while before going home.

From then on, as long as nothing happens, I will come to M's house to play. The admission notice came down. She passed the county No.1 Middle School and I passed Yichang No.2 High School. Although she is not in a school, she can run to her after returning home after a holiday. In the rain, I walked on the small embankment of the weir pond with an umbrella, and my heart was like a splash on the pond surface, jumping. During the winter vacation, the snow fluttered and the heart fluttered, and a string of white footprints went straight to her door. On a hot summer day, she made a fire and cooked. I sat in front of the stove and caught fire. I didn't feel hot, and my heart was cool. Winter night, she sat on the bed knitting, I sat in front of the bed reading, so warm!

I like to come here with an umbrella through Camellia oleifera flowers, and I also like to come here under the moonlight like water accompanied by fireflies. I also like to sit here and listen to the cricket in the grass in front of the door, and I prefer to sit here and listen to the grasshopper spinning in the field in front of the door. In fact, my neighbors know that I like to run here because of her.

I don't know why, there seems to be a tacit understanding between her and me. Whenever I go, I won't be empty and shut out. She is always waiting for me at home. We don't have sweet words, but we are soul mates. She took me to her little home in the county town to play, but most of them followed her to her big home to play. She was not far from her home, so she didn't need to introduce. She seemed to know what was going on between us. One summer vacation, she took me to Liang Ying's house to play. Liang Ying is her classmate in high school. Liang Ying said: "At noon, you and Zhang Zhaoren will eat here." M said, "OK! Listen to you, we will try your craft at noon. " Liang Ying looked at M and said with a smile: "Oh, it is developing so fast! It's already us! " M blushes and doesn't argue, but acquiesces, and I don't say a word, but acquiesces.

Male students discovered our relationship and often ran to the M house and deliberately shouted to me: "Zhang Zhaoren!" Shouted so loudly that it could be heard all over the street. At this time, M was not angry or blamed, but opened the back door generously and said with a smile: "He is here, come in and play!" But the students did not enter the house, but ran away laughing.

One day, Xian Qin and Dunbao said to me: "After so many years, your relationship with M should be clear!" In the evening, I came to M's house and transferred this sentence to M. She said, "You tell my mother." After listening to this sentence, I was silent. To be honest, I started to contact, and I didn't mean it. Who knows, as time goes by, no one can live without anyone, and always wants to be together all day. If it wasn't for the students' reminding, I really don't know that this is love. In the past, girls approached me actively, but I was not civilized, so I avoided it. Now, I just started to know love for the first time. Although M's mother never interfered with us and let a lonely man and a widowed woman get along with each other for a long time day and night, I won't be whimsical, especially in the age when the boundary between agricultural grain and commodity grain was very strict. I'm afraid of getting stiff, tearing up the beauty of so many years. I was silent for a while, got up and left, and never came again.

That summer,

No longer beautiful.

Without flowers and months,

It rains and rains every night.

Brilliant starry sky,

Where are you?

At that time,

I can't give you all the satisfaction.

I don't want to force you to farm with me,

I'll stop talking to you.

The diary we wrote together,

Just stop writing.

Close contact,

Keep it in my heart.

I chose to give up reluctantly,

Step by step towards loneliness.

Turning around is not gorgeous at all,

Looking back is full of tears.

I loved each other in this life,

Foot also!

In January 1976, I went to Yichang. Walking along Jiefang Road, I suddenly stopped and stared at a woman walking towards me. She came up to me, stopped and looked at me. In the downtown area, there is a sea of people, and I actually met M after breaking up for nearly ten years. The joy of reunion and the sadness of parting swirl around me. I followed her through the streets and lanes, walking side by side without taking the bus, as if I were back to the old days.

I came to a middle school in the city and entered a classroom. There were no desks and chairs in the empty classroom. The classroom was separated by a dormitory with a briquette stove beside it. It turns out that she is a worker in this middle school. M cooked a good meal, just like in her home, I sat and ate face to face with her. I stopped chopsticks and looked at her, and said with heartache, "You should look for it!" She put a piece of meat in my bowl, stared at me and said, "I have found it. When you return to the door in three days, you have to accompany me! " I promised. In the second year of Spring Festival, I fulfilled my promise.

The road outside the school wall is deserted,

There are flowers in the lush grass.

For decades,

The beautiful image at the intersection is still standing there.

Looking out.

That's a sixteen-year-old teenage girl.

Two long braids,

Falling butterflies.

Leaves are lingering,

What can't be erased is memory.

Just a breeze,

Then open the dusty diary.

Words that can't shed tears,

Build a thick book,

I told you to read it,

I want you to be mixed!