My First Date Ever...

#MyWorstDate

Ok let's just say to you guys as an advice to never ever go on a blind date from the internet. NEVER!!!

The following take places in Ramadan in Tehran and I was fasting and I was 15 years of age...

As a kid, I was really excited to go on date, to me it seemed like a cool experience and all my friends had done it so I thought let's give it a shot.After three weeks on an app looking for someone, somebody finally called; Rose, she expressed interest in going out with me! YAY!

She was older than I was and looked cute in her profile picture. So we decided to go to a museum as a date. No idea why she wanted to go there back then but I was excited (and btw, this is what passes for fun date in Iran). Anywho, I arrive at the Metro Station waiting for her with her pic in hand and ready to call her up.

I look around and see a lot of people, no one looked like her. Until I see this ravishing woman in red scarf and dress walking towards me and she did look like the pic and I was very excited that I hit the jackpot and before I could say hi...she passed me. It wasn't her. So I looked around and my phone rang, it was her asking where I was. I told her I was in front of Metro's entrance and she kept saying she's behind me. I keep looking but nothing and then suddenly I look down and...there she is. Like 155cm or so. Pretty short, I don't know the exact imperial system to tell my American friends but imagine the dwarfs from 'LOTR.' And she had a lot of pimples. DAMN!

So I tell myself, it's fine. Suck it up, it's ok. Suddenly, I see she brought her friends as well. And...it's still fine no worries. So we go to the museum and, oh boy. It's her whole university CLASS!!! Again. Calm down everything's fine. Haha!

So, then I stand as she's sitting down and demands to browse my phone and demands me to erase all my...umm pics. Even those of my family members. What the hell??

Anyways, the professor checks to see who is present and who's not and suddenly says, "SAKINEH GOL GHERMEZI." Translating the name: Sakineh (A name usually reserved for the poor) Gol Ghermezi (RED FLOWER!).YEA, she said just because her family name means red flower she decided to call herself...Rose. Someone save me!

Anywho, we go in and she introduces me as her distant cousin...

My job? To take pics of her in every DAMN occasion. Glorified photographer. And the worst part? They kept drinking water in front of me!!! Come on, I'm fasting for God's sake and she kept saying you want some? Damn she was ugly.

After some time and taking some pics of a short, ugly girl I wanted to leave. Real bad!!! I had it with this "date." So I thought and came up with a plan! I picked up the phone and faked calling my mom and imagined she telling me my grandpa had died so I fake cried, told her about it and left the place. Oh, and she gave me a little money for cab fare. And as soon as I got out I blocked her number! HAHA.

So I go home and cry and ask when my grandpa died. Turns out I was too much in character and actually believed my own lie.

Epilogue...

After a few months, someone called me and just said Hi! Her voice sounded familiar. Guess it was her to check if I had actually blocked her.

NEVER. EVER! Go on a blind date from and online page. You can't trust that name and pic. ALL OF IT IS FAKE!!! DON'T DO IT!

Or you end up taking pics of her, being her cousin, or cousin-zoned and you kill your grandpa just to get out.

I actually got out of dating for two years. Hated that date.

Anyways that's my worst date. What's yours?