My dating story on a dating site

I've always had a biased attitude towards dating sites. It seemed like there were people sitting there who couldn't start a relationship in real life. But then I noticed that I didn't get to meet new people in real life either. Work, home, meetings with old friends... Well, not on public transport to start a conversation, right?

So I decided to try my luck on a dating site. For a long time did not choose, a friend recommended https://www.tendermeets.com/. After about a week of empty correspondence and a whole collection of obscene photos, I started talking to one person. The communication began immediately. Even though I was a little embarrassed that we would have to meet in real life, we did see each other. Devid was only a few years older than me, also worked all day long, spent evenings in the gym, so, strange as it sounds, only on a dating site our paths and could cross paths.

I didn't make any serious plans. I thought we'd just end up texting each other. But after the first date he made the second, then the third... Soon Devid introduced me to some friends, we started spending the weekend with his company. And a few months later we were celebrating New Year's with his family. Six months later we moved in together, and a year later we got married.

Although, frankly speaking, I told my parents that we met on the birthday of a mutual friend.

From my experience, I want to give you 5 effective tips for online dating.

Tip #1: Focus on one application

In desperate attempts to find love, we may not be accountable for our actions. Believe me, there's no good in spreading out to five different apps. So you'll just spend precious time sitting on the internet and putting your eyesight down, so pick one app and get started.

Tip #2: Don't overstate your requirements.

Yes, yes, we all want to find a prince on a white horse with the looks of Ryan Gosling, Liam Hemsworth's press and Mark Zuckerberg's condition, but the reality is a little different. In demands concerning the chosen one be as much as possible correct and not to bend under pressure of the rough fantasy.

Tip #3: be yourself

The elementary thing we often forget about is being ourselves! Choose real photos for your profile and preferably not ten years ago, write hobbies not fictional, and in correspondence try to be the same as in life.

Tip #4: do not go headlong into virtual communication

Virtual communication is great, of course, but you should not forget about real life. Set a time limit for using the application so you don't have to flirt, communicate with real people and walk in the fresh air.

Tip #5: move into real life

You are not in primary school to stall and play with each other, you are adults, so try as soon as possible to move virtual communication into real life. You may be disappointed in a person when you meet them in person, but then at least do not spend too much time on hopeless communication.

Stop If We Get Matched With Someone

This final rule always seems the most controversial and hard to take. People can understand that if you start dating someone seriously then you stop using dating apps, but I think you should stop/suspend your use if you’re arranging to meet someone for a first date.

This may seem ‘wrong’, or extreme, because you haven’t committed to each other yet, haven’t even met each other yet, so why would you stop using dating apps (temporarily)? Who knows who else you could get a match with in the meantime?

Well, the truth is more isn’t always better. We all want to find that one person we can commit to and build something with. So it’s not really about finding lots of people, but the right person. And the apps can trick us into thinking the more the better because there is more potential.

It gives us the best chance by building good foundations

However, this mindset can distract us from the person in front of us. Instead of investing in the date and person we are with, we’re thinking of the other ‘potential’ dates we could have, which weakens the foundation (Read How To Tell If Our Relationships Are Thriving)

If we’re pursuing a match, then focus on them. It may not work out, but it gives us the best chance by building good foundations.

Imagine If…

The world we live in has apps and technology, there isn’t much point in pining for a ‘simpler’ time. And these things, like most other things, have the potential for a lot of good as well as a lot of bad.

Imagine if we were to use dating applications in a way that would help us find love and not interfere with it. We can start doing that when we start: Limit our time to the application, invest in wider implementations, stop if we match up with someone. (Read why the phrase "Love yourself before a date" was misunderstood).

Do you think dating applications are helping or hindering?