I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who goes through this... Let's go through it together, shall we?
Since Valentine's Day happens during the month and I was thinking about a few things while I was watching A Charlie Brown Valentine on Hulu, I figured I'd write about it.
First and foremost, Valentine's Day is just one of those days that I flat out can't stand because of how ridiculous everyone's ideas are around it and even if I did have a girlfriend, I still wouldn't follow those same ideas like buying her flowers and chocolates when I can do that any other day throughout the year. Now, you know how Charlie Brown feels depressed when certain holidays hit like in the Thanksgiving and Christmas specials? Sometimes that happens to me as well, here's an example:
I was 24 at the time (still am) and I was facing depression every now and again but the closer Christmas came, it was like the more romance was around. There was this girl I used to work with at my current job, Angelina and she was gorgeous. Red hair, really pretty, and an awesome person. I was building the courage to talk to her more than I usually do at work so I found out there was a Christmas party at work that was going down before leaving for vacation but knowing my history with gals I remotely get interested in, it never works out. The party hits, I go and the harsh reality hits, not only does Angelina have a boyfriend but I'm the only single guy at the party as far as I knew so I did what I always do best. Stayed at the party for about an hour and went home.
Boy, I sure do know how to set myself up for failure, huh? I always try to look at the bright side of things but it's not easy to do when so many things are against you. Luckily, I do manage to pull through and there's a little light that guides me as this one did:
I just turned 23 a month prior and I was at a sleepaway camp for adults. I was dealing with the fact that I have depression since it was still new to me so one night, we had a dance party that lasted until midnight and I went outside to get some air and talk to a few people, I came across this gal that was at least 12 years older than me but I still found her attractive. Her name was Laura, she was dressed in a sexy marching band outfit and I told her about the kind of guy I am at some point. She told me that she was engaged but that if she was my age again and met me, she definitely would've scooped me up since she loves nice guys. So even though I was (and still am) becoming more cynical about love and relationships, it was nice for me to know that I can encounter some pretty awesome women.
Lately, these days, I just try to go my own way while I develop these ideas about certain things like with Valentine's Day, if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't get her anything because it's stupid that I have to get her something just because I have to "show how much I love her" by buying her a gift when I can show a different way of doing it. Same goes for Christmas. Call me an asshole or judge me all you want but if I want to get my girlfriend a gift, it'll be from the heart and not because a day tells me that I have to.