My Best Friend Is My Soulmate
She’s not my lover, nor my wife, but she is my soulmate.
I went a good majority of my life struggling to find someone I could relate to. With having a wide variety of mental health issues, a strong anti-social personality, and just being scared, it was hard for me to find that person.
I’ve been stabbed in the back several times by the people I thought I could trust.
I’ve been hurt by people I thought loved me.
I became terrified to let anyone in, telling people who I was had become almost obsolete in my life by the time I was 16.
I had built a fake person to guard my heart, and all the pain I had felt in the past led me to believe I would never have someone in my life.
At 16 years old, I truly believed I would be alone forever. In friendships, relationships, and lovers. Anything, I would be alone.
That's until I met Veronica.
We were both 16, and we both had been through some shit.
I, going through all my personal issues of being Bipolar, going to hospital after hospital, and living in constant paranoia.
Her, living through the trauma of broken relationships, learning how to live with hidden depression, and trying to find out who she was outside of people.
Veronica and I originally met when we were 14, in our freshman year of high school. At the time, Veronica had a boyfriend who was emotionally abusive because he was experiencing his own issues. During this time, I had become friends with her boyfriend, and because of his abusive behavior, he began lying to both of us.
Telling me how terrible she was, how she was abusive and rude to him, and how he didn’t know how he was going to get out of the relationship because he was scared.
Telling her how kind I was, how he wished that he was with me instead of her. He told Veronica how him and I acted together was better than the two of them would ever be.
His game was to pin us against each other, just for the pure enjoyment.
It had worked.
We both hated each other with a passion, talking terrible lies about one another to different people.
But after all of this, in sophomore year, I no longer knew of her whereabouts. Not that I really cared, I was also in the height of my mental health battles myself.
For sophomore year and junior year, we knew nothing of each other. Didn’t care, why would we, we hated each other.
After coming back from a mental facility in Tennessee, I ended up being in the alternative school that my district offered.
After not knowing Veronica’s whereabouts, I finally knew, because there she was sitting next to me in my first English class of the semester.
The second she realized who I was, the first thing to come out of her mouth was, “Are you okay? Last I heard of you was the stretcher story from freshman year.”
In freshman year I had passed out from an issue with my mental health, an ambulance was called, and I was rolled out on a stretcher.
Nobody ever asked me how I was after it happened. I had blocked everyone out from the real story because everyone I brought it up to never cared.
She was the first to ever care about it. The first to ever ask. The first to ever listen to me.
It’s been almost four years now.
We’ve been on trips, we’ve lived together, we have matching tattoos.
She knows my ENTIRE medical history, family history, my issues inside and out.
And I know hers.
I have never been connected with someone so seriously before. It’s like I have known Veronica my whole life.
It’s kind of hard to explain, but just think about going your whole life, feeling like you are supposed to find someone to have help you through life. Just having this constant feeling that you are going to find someone to be your partner in crime.
Veronica is that person for me.
The day we sat in the Smokey Mountains in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, I told her how much I had always wanted something like this, she agreed, and I knew I had finally found the person who was going to be in my life until the day I die.
V, thank you for always being the person I can go to. You came into my life at the perfect time. You mean the world to me.
Just know, no matter what we do, or where we go, it will always be us against the world.
“When you can’t see the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.”
Thank you for being my soulmate.
I hope we find each other in every life we live, no matter what we are in those lives.