My 15-year-old Self'sThoughts on Love

In high school, specifically during my third year, our English adviser, Miss Victoria, asked us to write an essay about love. We were required to incorporate quotes to support our ideas. Before this assignment, I had never written about love, but my perspective on it has remained consistent throughout my life. If there's anything I would add to this discussion, it is this: You have to love and accept yourself at all stages of your life because love comes from within.

This is a belief deeply ingrained in me, something I feel in my bones, and advice I consistently offer to people when they confide in me with their troubles. While it may seem unhelpful initially, eventually, they often arrive at this realization themselves. It's disheartening to witness good people succumb to superficial charms or their reluctance to work on themselves first. Some may find temporary solace in the intimacy and affection of others, but how long does it truly last when many continue to search aimlessly, hoping to fill an emotional void? Instead, they could focus on nurturing their relationship with themselves to alleviate feelings of loneliness. Furthermore, I firmly believe that our perspective is what often limits us from experiencing genuine happiness and a sense of belonging. While some may label me as a cynic, or, if you're a friend or family member, perhaps even 'robotic', I do derive enjoyment from my fair share of romantic comedies and dramas, and I know that real-life relationships require a deeper understanding and acceptance of oneself, as well as empathy for others.

Anyway, without further adieu, a reflection from my 15-year-old self:

When people talk about love, they are either fighting for something, fighting over something, being brave, or being cowards. Almost anyone could be a fool after they’ve fallen in love.

“Falling in love is like getting hit by a truck and yet not being mortally wounded. Just sick to your stomach, high one minute, low the next. Starving, hungry but unable to eat. Hot, cold, full of hope and enthusiasm, with momentary depressions that wipe you out.

It is also not being able to remove the smile from your face, loving life with a mad passionate intensity, and feeling ten years younger.

Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what’s happening. It’s inevitable. An event you cant control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller coaster ride that just has to take its course.”

- Jackie Collins

Nowadays though, ‘love’ has become a trending ‘thing’ and young people often engage in casual relationships just to earn a status. They're taking it for granted. I wouldn’t believe that love is real unless it’s selfless and not selfish. Some just cant wait ‘til the right age comes, the right state of their minds to come to them before they do something like that. If you’re going to love or fall for someone, take your brain with you.

Even though some love was proven to be real and lasted for a lifetime—for youngsters, ‘love’ is the most exciting and beautiful thing ever. It is indeed beautiful, but if taken for granted, you could only be left with sore eyes, a bitter judgment, and a broken heart. For love can sometimes be magic, but magic can sometimes be just an illusion.

Aside from the usual tweens who claim they ‘love’ their ‘significant other’, there are some people I admire for staying true to themselves, regardless of what other people would say. I admire them for staying true to themselves. You fall in love with someone whether who he/she is or regardless of where they came from and what they are because—you just can’t explain! They are selfless and brave people, that even though society would judge them, they're willing to take the risk because they love each other.

And then, there are those other brave souls whose love wasn’t returned, nevertheless they continue to care for the person and are happy to see them happy even though they themselves are hurting.

“First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love.”

- Maya Angelou

After all, part of living is hurting. That is how you grow and cope with things. Falling in love is a good thing. Falling out of dumb love is another. But, coming out stronger after a broken heart, ready to love and live again, proves that you’ve grown, and that to love is to die and be reborn.

All you need is the right kind of love.