Merlot, Masks and a Mistake

Dating apps are my worst nightmare. I hated them prior to the pandemic, during the pandemic and even now during the vaccine phase of the pandemic. I never had any luck on them, but with the lifting of restrictions I was just so happy to be able to go out to a bar now, that I agreed to meet up with a random stranger within the first three messages. I didn’t know anything about him, the plans kind of fell together so fast. He looks cute, tall, completely bald in good way and a pair of deep blue eyes. If anything at least he’ll make for a pretty face to look at for the evening. Usually I never do this, agreeing to meet up with someone so quickly. I need a bit more conversation, I need some rapport to even get to a point of wanting to meet up. However, 2020 changed my perspective on a lot of things including dating. I’m in my thirties and have a pretty awesome life, great friends, supportive family, amazing career. Sure, I’m missing a companion and yes I can admit it gets lonely but I’m still okay. This year I wasn’t going to put pressure on myself in finding someone to settle down with. I just wanted to meet people and hey worst case scenario I end up alone, well quarantine showed me I really like my own company so been there, done that!

I was busy babbling on having my own inner monologue of thoughts that I didn’t even realize I had reached the bar. I very strategically picked a wine bar around the corner from my apartment. Walking around the City in heels is no joke and I am most certainly not Carrie Bradshaw. I pulled open the door and was instantly greeted with the familiar sounds of loud voices and clinking glasses.

The hostess beckons me over, “hi table for two?” I ask.

“We’re booked at the moment but something should clear up shortly. You’re welcome to socially distance at the bar, just keep your mask on”

“Thanks I will” I say as I walk over to the bar. I take a seat and the bartender slaps down a coaster. Man!! I missed this atmosphere, I am so giddy!

While scanning the menu, I keep glancing at my phone and the door, keeping an eye out for my Mr. Clean. I’m so engrossed in my repetition of this act that I don’t even realize there he is, at the end of the bar, amongst a crowd. Clean shaven head, face tucked way behind a mask but ever so visible piercing blue eyes. I wave to him to get his attention.

He looks a little bit stunned and points to himself somewhat of a “who? me?” gesture. Clearly he can’t recognize me under my mask so I stand up nodding and actually wave him over.

He walks over with glass of red wine in his hand.

“Hi…” he says awkwardly. He seems nervous about this date.

“Hey I’m Lucy” I say encouragingly

He scans me up and down and pauses “I’m-“

“What are you drinking, started without me” realizing that I cut him off but I’m trying to ease the tension cause this all seems a little uncomfortable.

He laughs, and I’m proud of myself, still got it. Still that flirty, charming, sexy but not spontaneous pre-pandemic me! He slips off his mask and takes a sip of his wine. He looks a little different than his pictures, better in person and a very nice smile.

“Oh just their house Merlot” he says flatly

“Good choice I’m a fan of Merlot, its actually my favorite!” Great there you go, common bonding over Merlot, I give myself a metaphorical pat on the back.

“Always red over white, don’t hold it against me but I’m a bit of a wine snob. I actually belong to Bright Cellars” I continue on as I also make a note that I might just be carrying the conversation all night.

“Bright Cellars?” he questions

“yeah it’s this pretty cool monthly wine club-“

“What will it be?” the bartender interrupts me, “I’ll have what he’s having” I say coyly.

I’m trying way too hard, but he’s giving me nothing to work with. I mentally roll my eyes although it could’ve also been visibly, unclear.

What seemed like a century later and a bottle in but was actually only about 30 minutes, Eric finally loosened up. He was actually talkative, fun and the banter between us was electric! Maybe I can do this whole dating thing, maybe dating apps are turning over a new leaf for me! Look at me all hopeful and stuff!

Right on cue the hostess walks up to us “I have a table unless you guys are fine here”

Eric takes the lead “We’ll take the table and we’ll also take another bottle”

We make our way over to the table, glasses in hand. I don’t know if it’s the wine, my first time being out at a bar in a about year or even Eric himself but I’m loving it! I think I may also be buzzed so there’s that too.

I take a seat, anxious to get back to our conversation. “I’m just going to run to bathroom real quick” Eric says

I take this opportunity to pull out my phone, as a rule of thumb I will not touch it on a first date. I peruse through my notification previews, the group chat is going off, a message from my mother, a text from my best friend asking how the date is going and there it is…. A text message from Eric.

“Hey sorry have to cancel something came up” I let out an audible gasp. I hate dating apps, I hate dating apps. Also I am on date with a perfect stranger who is even more of a perfect stranger because he is not the perfect stranger I was supposed to meet off of bumble. I pull Eric’s bumble profile just to double check and sure enough of course there’s a little bit of a similarity but this guy is certainly not Eric. I was just so excited to be out I kind of overlooked the whole looking different thing. He didn’t look better than his picture, he looked better because he is a whole different person!! Oh my god his initial awkwardness makes sense. I’m spiraling.

Fake Eric comes back to the table.

I stand up and announce “you’re not Eric”

“ Who is Eric?” he asks

“The guy I’m supposed to be on a date with, I thought you were him!”

He bursts out laughing sliding down his mask “My name is Adam, nice to meet you!”

This time I take a really good look at him and he may just be cuter than Eric but so not the point though, “Hang on, why did you walk over to me then?”

“You gestured me over, I thought you were a dope spontaneous bold chick hitting on me, thought that was cool”

I cock my head to the side like a German Shepard, did he just call me spontaneous?

It was in that moment I realized, spontaneous should just be a label that some gets all the time. Its more of giving into and acting on feelings when the situation calls for it. You don’t have to be what society defines you to be. Introverts can be extroverts, quiet people can be loud, boring people can be fun, depending on the situation. Pre-pandemic you is no longer post-pandemic you.

“Well Adam, do you want to get out of here?” I ask spontaneously!

He grabs my hand and I pause turn on my heel and grab the unopened bottle of wine.

I say to waiter “You can just close out the tab, we’ll be taking this to go.”

After all, he had me at merlot.