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Me and My Husband Have Nothing To Talk About (I Can't Communicate With My Husband Anymore)

Are you stuck in a marriage, scratching your head in wonderment, saying me and my husband have nothing to talk about? If you're in this position and you're worried about your marriage going downhill fast, then you need help. If you're in a situation where you're saying I can't communicate with my husband anymore, then this might be the most important thing you've ever read.

By Amira LyricPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
Me and My Husband Have Nothing To Talk About (I Can't Communicate With My Husband Anymore)
Photo by Alice Donovan Rouse on Unsplash

Communication in any relationship makes for the very foundation and in marriages, it is what keeps it going. However, due to difference in opinions, different responsibilities and opposite outlooks in life, communication can often reduce to basic conversations, and this is where you should buck up and set things right.

What Can A Lack Of Communication Lead To?

Loss of trust- When your partner fails to communicate with you and you have no idea what is going on in their life, a million thoughts would spring up on your mind. You'd probably be left guessing as to why they skip dinner, come late or are always cranky, your trust would start to waver.

Insecurity- Partners have often reported to feel insecure as they begin communicating lesser and lesser. Most divorcees relate how they started to dread and become insecure about the future as they felt their spouse emotionally drifting away.

Infidelity- You're not talking properly, your spouse would not be able to invite you to bed if all you talk about is how the food tastes saltier today. 70% of people cheat not only for sex, but also because they feel that the person they cheated with on their partner gave them importance and most importantly heard them out.

Key Problems to Communicating Effectively With Your Partner

It's an accepted fact that communication is essential to the well being of any relationship but from the relationships around us we see many couples that have problems successfully communicating. In my mind, communicating effectively on an issue with your partner involves coming to a common awareness about the issue so that you have a shared picture of the issue. So why is this so difficult?

1. Biology. Don't roll your eyes! It's true but not in the way that you think. Research has established that the average person speaks at the speed of 150words per minute but listens at the speed of 700words per minute. This means that your mind will do other things as you are listening to your partner and that's the reason why your mind wonders when they talk to you for any length of time. It's not that they are boring; you are just wired that way and you must learn to deal with this. Learn to listen actively. When your partner is talking to you, look at them and focus on them. Don't think about the task you left undone or the dream that you had last night etc.

2. Communication is multifaceted. We often think that communication is just talking to our partner but the clincher is that it's not that simple.

Communication comprises of;

i) Verbal communication (45% of all communication) and this consists of content (7%) and the tone of voice (38%) and that's why if your tone is demeaning then regardless of the content the communication fails.

ii) Non-verbal communication (55% of all communication) and this consists of body language, facial expression, body and facial posture etc. The problem with non verbal communication is that a lot of it depends on the way you were socialized. You need to ask your partner what they mean when they display certain non verbal talk. Many of our relationships sink because we assume the meaning of our partner's non verbal communication and we tend to interpret it in the most negative way possible.

For communication to be effective your verbal and non verbal communication must align so that the content, tone of voice and the non verbal are saying the same thing. If the different components contradict each other then there is confusion. You know how it is...you speak with your partner and come away feeling confused. That's what happened! If you are telling your partner how much you love them (content) and your tone is distracted (tone) and your body is engaged in some other activity(non verbal)...do you expect them to believe you? Remember that next time!

3. Differences between the sexes! In communication this is evidenced in two main ways.

i) Generally ladies speak more than guys although researchers disagree on the magnitude of this difference but you must have seen this in your relationship. This often translates in ladies using more words than is necessary (from a guy's perspective) and men giving insufficient information (from a lady's perspective). You need to negotiate a compromise here so that the lady gets the required information without overwhelming the man.

ii) Ladies can multitask and guys cannot. A man functions best if he can deal with one issue at a time while a woman can discuss different issues back and forth with no problem. To facilitate effective communication each sex must keep this difference in mind and put themselves in their partner's shoes.

Hopefully now you understand why communication with your spouse is such an uphill task and what you need to do to overcome the key problems to communicating effectively with your partner.

What Can You Do To Improve Communication After Marriage?

Exaggerating negative feelings- If your spouse is not being able to give you time, talk to them about it. What most people do is exaggerate the entire issue, 'you did not notice my new haircut because you do not love me anymore like you did when we first met and when you promised that you would love me all your life' was that sentence really necessary? Communicate issues rather than playing the blame game.

Understand Him- Put yourself in his shoes, your spouse has a lot to deal with too. Try to be compassionate, can you forgive your spouse for not noticing your half an inch hair trim? Yes, you can. Try to think from his perspective too, be understanding and he would soon find the will to communicate.

Don't presume- This is a very bad habit of most people. If you are going to act upon something that you think your spouse is guilty of, then don't blame anyone when your marriage falls apart. Hear out what they have to say with an open mind and sans any preset notions.

Have healthy arguments- Every couple argues, but generalizing will not help. Be specific, tell them what trait or action of theirs have upset you rather than telling them how horrible they are for making you feel this way. State individual problems, listen to their point of view, offer solutions and come to a compromise.

Take the initiative- Start making small talks, ask them about their day, talk about the children's progress in school or what happened at your workplace. Take charge and get them talking, but don't pester or get angry when they respond in monosyllables, they'll come around to the idea of opening up to you eventually.

It's all up to you! If you don't take this action to save your marriage, then who will?

To learn how to save your marriage alone, then check out this plan of actions that is 100% guaranteed. Over 60,000 couples were able to save their marriages by doing the very same series of steps that you will be doing. If they saved their marriages then you can too! Click Here to see how it's done… All my best to you and your spouse!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again. There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by, Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

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    ALWritten by Amira Lyric

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