Love Without Conditions

Love what does it look like? What does it feel like? Is it physical? Is it spiritual? Is it emotional? Why is it that everyone says they want love but are not willing to give it. There are so many relationship blogs and dating coaches who emphasize on knowing yourself worth and making a man work for your love and affections. They say don't show him you care too quick because it will make you look desperate and run him off blah! blah! blah!etc! What if I told you that those blogs and relationship gurus were wrong. The definition of unconditional love is loving someone without conditions and or expectations. The reason we end up hurt and heartbroken because few of us have learn the true principle of loving without expectations. Imagine meeting someone that you think is perfect and you fall in love but its only been 3 months and according to society, your friends, and social media they tell you 3 months is too soon to express your feelings you should make him wait. The person your dating is everything you could of asked for he's charming, handsome, reliable ,respectful and hes doing everything right but because of your expectations and conditions you pull back. Instead of calling him first like you want too. You play games and make him call you all the time. If he sends a text you don't respond right away you make him wait 30 minutes so you wont seem too available. According to society and the standards of what dating is suppose to look like men are considered to be the hunters. Their suppose to chase you and bow down to your every need. Right? The crazy thing about this theory is that the last time I checked men were humans like us. They have fears, anxiety and emotions like we do. What if there shy, what if they never had a father figure to show them how to be in a relationship but they have good intentions. So lets say a day goes by you don't hear from him you let pride get in the way and you don't contact him. Day two comes and goes but you still wont contact him, then day three and then here we are at day four. At this point your anxious and worried that he has ghosted you so you call your friends and they say" if you haven't heard from him in four days hes not the one just leave him alone because if he cared he would of contacted you by now". You go online looking for advice you pull up a page full of titles that say if he hasn't contacted you within this amount of time he's just not that into you. In your gut you know that something isn't right but again he is the man and he is expected to take the lead and chase you. Right? At this point your angry and frustrated that this once charming guy could end up being such a jerk. You think to yourself" who does he think he is, the nerve of him to ghost me! Emotions overwhelm you and you finally get up enough courage to contact him. You dial his number and a strange woman answers the other end of the phone. Instantly your mouth drops and you heart sinks in your stomach and disappointment starts to sets in. That small voice In your mind speaks to you and says" I knew I couldn't trust him he was playing me this whole time I'm so glad I never told him or showed him I loved him". The strange women says hello again. You pause, take a deep breath and brace yourself to hear her say she is his wife or girlfriend and who the hell are you? So you slowly ask for him and when you say his name she says" I'm his sister and I'm so sorry to tell you this but he was killed in a car accident 3 days ago! Your heart starts racing and you just sob hysterically as you hang up the phone. All you can think about is the time you spent with him, his smile, his laugh, his voice, the face he makes when he's nervous. The passion and chemistry you felt and the love you felt in your heart from day one but never told him. You think about how egotistical and prideful you were and how you wished you would of called everyday just to say hi but now you cant because he's gone forever. You think about how stupid you were to play games, make him chase you when there was nothing wrong with your relationship. You just didn't want to look desperate and now your angry that you didn't get a chance to love him every chance you got. The moral of this story is we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Love is suppose to be experienced not controlled by a checklist or by unrealistic expectations. Loving someone unconditional means just that! If you want to talk to someone pick up the phone and call them who cares if you called them first yesterday. If you want to give them a hug do it, If you want to buy a gift to show you care do it . The key to having a successful relationship is giving love freely without dictating how its returned. You cant say you love someone unconditionally but you keep tabs on everything they have or haven't done for you lately. We have to change our perception of love in order to truly restore and have a fulfilling relationship. Men go through issues just like women and its so unfair that we think we are not suppose to do anything but let him chase us. The thing that is so contradicting about the game of chasing is when do you ever get caught? How many hours, days, months,or years does he have to continue to chase you before your willing to open your heart. Imagine if you both had the same mindset of well I've been hurt before so I'm gonna let him chase me ,and he is thinking the same way I'm gonna let her chase me to prove herself .Guess what the relationship would fail before it even gets started and you both would miss out on having a great relationship. When you give love freely without restrictions it comes back freely in many forms. Disappointment is only unmet expectations so instead of expecting someone to prove themselves to you start accepting people for who they are. Take the time to love one day at a time, enjoy them one day at a time, experience them one day at a time. Stop putting them or yourself on a do's and don't check list. Instead put them on a how can I show my love today list and watch how your relationship will transform. This is not to say settle for an unhealthy relationship in anyway ,but what I am saying is if the person is kind, trustworthy, reliable and respects you. You owe it to yourself to give and receive love unconditionally. Experience the people you love today so that you wont have regrets tomorrow because tomorrow really Isn't promise.