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Love: Why is it so hard?

Does it have to be.

By Rashida SawyerPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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We all scare sometimes....

I have dated since the age of 19. I can say it has not gotten any easier. Does dating/ marriage/ relationships have to be so hard? I am starting to believe the older you get the less likely you mate is out there. I do have hope, but I am starting to feel I just need to marry myself since I am the only one who can deal with me lol. Let me set the scene, you meet someone, whether in person or online with one of their dating app. I will get to how I feel about those in a minute. Anyway, you meet someone, and you go out on a date. Everything is going great until you tell them about what you would want in a relationship. Not saying you want a relationship with the person, but you just tell them person your standards. I feel some men claim they want a woman with standards and have it all together, but truly they may not know how to deal with all that you put out there. They look at you sideways or they “act” like they agree. However, their actions do not show they understand nor agree with your standards. Are we not supposed to have standards? Are we supposed to tell people how to treat us or how with would like to be treated? I put everything on the table and it always backs fires. Every time. Maybe not the first time I speak to someone but eventually I would tell them where I stand on things.

Now back to the dating apps. I have tried a few. Not naming them but I have tried a few. Some where way to long and asked for too much information. More information than what I was comfortable in giving out at the time. Some did not have great matches and when you did put in your standards, they gave you the total opposite. People can write anything they want when you can hide behind a computer or phone app. They can create a whole different person just to make it seem they are your type. Then some are so vague how can you really get to know them at all. Some apps, you just get tried of swiping left. I feel like 1 out of 10 you will like. If you do not pay for all the extras you see who even like you in the first place. With all these app all you see is looks so, of course I am going to swipe right especially if they are handsome and we have some common cores, boom swipe right it is. People are more than looks, they are deeper than that.

So, I say it again, why is dating/relationships marriage so hard? It should not be that complicated. If you like someone tell them, you want to chill with someone, tell them. If you can see your life without that person in it tell them. Love should not be so scary to the point you do not want to share the time you have left here on this planet with someone. Love should not be that hard, but it is. Love is hard and can be messy with the wrong person. So, I said all this to say, be up front with people, show you true colors and let love in. I am not giving up on love. It will find me one day. Until then , I will just continue to prepare myself and love myself for who I am.

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About the Creator

Rashida Sawyer

I am a 37 years old school counselor who believes in helping others gain understanding about themselves. I love to motivating people.

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