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Love Letters from Heather

Dearest Natalie

By Heather DownPublished 3 years ago 7 min read
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Natalie

Dearest Natalie!

Why has it taken me so long to write this letter? When this project was only a spark in my mind, you were one of the initial people on my list whom I wanted to write to! But I kept putting it off. If there is something the last four weeks of my life has taught me—never put anything off. I haven’t completed this correspondence yet because I didn’t have a clue where to start. Entire worlds of mountains and valleys were traversed in the few short years we have known each other. I am left baffled by where to begin, so I guess I will simply start with how—or where—we met (where all good things incept), Starbucks.

My neighbour had been mentioning you for a while, saying I should read your blog, that your story would make a great book. To be honest, I hear this type of thing all too often and maybe (as in absolutely), I wasn’t as attentive to her request as I should have been.

Luckily (for me, at least) she was persistent, and the three of us met under the busyness of our local baristas. This is the first time I witnessed the real effects of post-traumatic stress. You walked in the coffee shop confident, oh-so-stylish, and eager to make things happen. When the whirring sounds of grinders, steaming machines, and when all things coffee paraphernalia swelled to unbearable levels to your PTSD brain, the meeting ended. I asked you to copy and paste the entirety of your blog (I would soon learn that would be over 100,000 words) and email it to me in one document.

Editing!

I went home to relax, thinking I might hear from you in a week or so. Imagine my shock when a few short hours later, the entire blog was neatly in one file, attached and ready to go.

You are driven and a doer. This trait is both your superpower and your kryptonite. You are one of my equals as far as laser focus and energy funnelled into a creative project. Actually, I think you surpass me. Believe me, that is saying something. Except, here’s the thing: You have, in the past, taken on heaps of responsibility beyond anything a human can bear. And your drive has sometimes driven you. I am so proud of your recent contentment. I have a lot to learn from you!

Interview on The Agenda

Receiving a donation for the not-for-profit Brainstorm Revolution

Some of my favourite memories are of us in a car, driving, often in complete, comfortable silence. The sign of true friends—being content in each other’s presence saying nothing at all. Spirituality and personal growth were more often than not the inevitable themes of our conversations when we did decide to converse. So many incredible aha moments.

You are also the best vault I have ever met. The keeper of my secrets, without judgement or shame. Thank you for that.

Two of my favourite trips were to Ottawa—Parliament Hill, to be exact. Have I ever thanked you for the amazing opportunities you afforded me?

I cannot express how proud I was when you testified in front of the Standing Committee of Health. I bet I have heard you speak a hundred times, but this was a whole new level. It was an earnest I had not heard before or since. Incredible.

The night before you had a nightmare about being late. We felt hurried and worried, me skipping my shower and my face, haphazardly blurting, “I bet we meet the Prime Minister today because I haven’t put on any makeup.”

Careful what you wish for . . .

After the day, which provided the most unique life-experiences to date for me—meeting the PM in the Government Lounge, visiting the office of the leader of the opposition in her office, and touring the Centre Block, we walked out. On a high, I linked my arm in yours and said, “I can’t believe that just happened. Aren’t you in awe?”

On Parliament Hill after Natalie testified to the Standing Committee of Health

Your answer stuck with me and is a major key to your success, I believe. “It was great, but I don’t really get star struck. We are all just people.”

A person is a person is a person. Role, position, responsibility, notoriety, does not affect your perception of them or of yourself. There is no comparison in your mind. What a freeing, incredibly healthy outlook. This allows you the courage to take on the roadblocks to move forward for a cause because your opinion and perspective is as valid as anybody else’s, regardless of what their perceived stature is. WHAT. A GIFT! And I love you for it. (However, telling the PM to go back into the House of Commons to grab your book for the social media picture might have been pushing it just a little [LOL].)

The second time we went to Ottawa was to allow MPs to make get well cards for people in addiction centres. Imagine wheeling suitcases of craft supplies (including scissors) through Parliament Hill security. Your vulnerability gives permission for so many to open up. What an inspiring experience for me that day to hear people from all political parties talk about a relative or a friend who struggles with mental illnesses. Watching the faces whom I had only seen on TV before, open up and express such sincere vulnerability gave me hope and ignited faith in humanity and our leaders. This was February 2020. Who knew that we would see particular faces daily, once the pandemic landed on our soil?

Minister of Health, Patty Hajdu

Getting the tour from MP John Brassard

But it hasn’t always been rainbows and unicorns. Not only have I witnessed you at your mountaintop highs, I have also seen facedown lows.

I cannot listen to Sia’s song Chandelier without physically getting sick to my stomach. Cryptic to my mind yet clear to my gut, I knew something was amiss. Have I ever thanked you for giving me that key to your house?

People see you—or they think they do. They think they know you from your role as a city councillor, your book, or from social media. What they aren’t privy to are the things you do quietly, in the shadows, far beyond accolades or criticism. This place, no spotlight or public illumination, is where you support me—often and unconditionally.

You listen to me. You teach me. You send me messages of encouragement and cards in the mail when I least expect them but always when I need them the most. It is uncanny. This is the Natalie the public doesn’t have a window to, but where your light shines the brightest, in the private spaces curtaining the brilliance, except for the one it is meant for.

I cannot tell you how excited I was when you planned on driving out to New Brunswick to visit me. When plans were pre-empted by a tornado hitting Jon’s house when you and Adam were there, blowing off the roof, I was grateful you were not hurt—physically, anyway. I can’t imagine going through that experience. Someone said to me, “What are the chances of THAT happening to Natalie?” I responded without missing a beat, “About 150%, actually.”

If anyone could advocate to get building codes changed, it is you, Sista! I am sorry you had to experience though, though. And leave it to you to get the attention of Leonardo DiCaprico.

I love you to bits. And I sense you are in a really good place now. That makes my heart sing.

You:

  • Get things done
  • Advocate without ceasing
  • Are wise
  • Are caring
  • Are kind
  • You are also an addict—purpose is your current pill of choice. Only now, you seem to be washing it down with self-love and self-care, making the cocktail edifying instead of debilitating. I am proud of the balance you have found.

If anybody could rescue the world, it would be you. But if there is just one piece of advice I would like to impart, it is this: YOU DON'T HAVE TO. You are enough. By virtue of your very existence, you make the world a better place (at least my world).

How do you say “I love you” without saying “I love you?”

“I just want you to be happy."

You tell me this all the time. I know you love me. I hope you know that I love you, too—and I just want you to be happy also.

friendship
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About the Creator

Heather Down

I am an observer of life through the lens of middle age. Owner of an independent publishing house and a published author, I spend my time obsessing about all things communication. Follow me at Wintertickle Press.

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