Love Is...

by Kandice Black about a year ago in dating

Worth Waiting For

Love Is...

I haven't been in a lot of relationships. Just three, really. But I learned so much from them. All of them was so different in their own way. But there was only one where I fell in love...

*Note: Obviously, I'm changing the names to protect their identities. 🤷🏾‍♀️

My first relationship was the worst! Super abusive. And we were so young, we weren't in high school yet. We knew each other for years and we were really good friends. It was 8th-grade prom and I was sitting alone because the guy that was supposed to be my date screwed me over to be with another girl. So "Joey," approached me and just gave me a hug. He said he felt so bad and he wished I was his date because I "looked better than the rest of the girls there." I'm not gonna lie...I did. People were writing me in the prom queen and best-dressed ballots. They were disappointed when I came in second for both.

Anyway, Joey made my night and I was sure that I made his. We danced at prom and we got even closer. We started dating right after that. Big mistake. From our middle school graduation to two days before the first day of our freshman year of high school, it was really toxic. He beat me a lot. He yelled at me a lot. He apologized...a lot. But I know I didn't deserve the abuse, so I broke up with him. He said he loved me, I told him to "fuck off". It took me a year to move on from months of turmoil.

Sophomore year, I felt like a badass. Cutting class, leaving school to hang out with friends, not doing homework, etc. One day I meet "Bobby," or what I call him now as the "New Jerseyan Fuckboy." He had the potential of becoming a future cast member for MTV's Jersey Shore. But he was the spoiled only child that went to the best private schools and wasted his parents' money doing dumb shit during spring break. I met him while he was on spring break. He assumed I was too when really I just cut class to go home. We hung out a lot and I thought that a long distance relationship would work. It didn't.

He was a serial cheater. He was a little older than me too, so when he was trying to pressure me into doing things, he would make me feel guilty. ESPECIALLY when it came to losing my virginity. He looked at that as if that was a fucking prize or something. Since I never "gave" that to him, he would sleep with other girls. Hell, he even tried to fuck my best friend at the time. We dated for two years, on and off. I ended things when he slid in my BFF's DMs. He said he loved me. He still says that today. But he has no shot with me. I don't even want to be friends with him.

Last but not least, "Charlie." Charlie appear when me and Bobby were still dating. Charlie was someone who I met online. We bonded over stuff I couldn't even talk to Bobby about. We became friends and he became my confidant. So he knew all about the Bobby situation and was there for me in a major way. I opened up to him saying that love isn't a real thing and I'm never going to get that. Boy, was I completely wrong...

Eventually, after months of calling, texting and Facetiming, Charlie asked me out and we finally met. The first time I saw him in front of me, I just knew he was the one for me. I fell so deep in love with him, it was crazy. He was my first...everything and I couldn't even imagine being with anyone else. We dated for a year, broke up and stayed friends the year after and we recently got back together earlier this year. But no matter what, we have this unbreakable bond and we always come back to each other. He makes me so happy. Our relationship is not perfect, no one's relationship is. But we made it work and it became the best thing ever.

Kandice Black
Kandice Black
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