Love Hurts

Love is everything good

And everything bad

Like a double edged sword

Sometimes it hurts really bad

Sometimes it feels good to know

And even better to have

When it kicks it hurts

But it can be much worst.

What you allow will continue. Self-love sometimes is our biggest undertaking in life. What you allow in the treatment of and by others will persist.

Tears running down her face. I’m so sorry I cheated on you? He stated when did this happened, he replied I didn’t mean to break your heart. It just happened, she replied. I was dealing with so much and he had ear to hear my troubles as a friend. I love you but I do love him too! Why didn’t you tell me your troubles, he stated? I tried to explain to you how I felt but you wouldn’t listen and you was always to busy she stated? Where do we go from here he said? I don’t know....

I told you I didn’t love you,

At least I thought I did.

They say actions speak louder than words

And my actions SCREAMED at you.

Less talking, less quality time, and

Making love has become nonexistent.

I thought you understood what that meant.

You asked me why I didn’t say I was unhappy,

But how can I tell you when most of my time is spent next to him.

My silence towards you was love to him.

He gets the quality time, he gets the talks, and when we make love it the most beautiful experience in the world.

Now I know all of this sounds cold and heartless.

Truthfully, I’m a coward

Too scared of how deeply and quickly I fell in love with you

So now I’ve convinced myself that I really don’t love you

I’ve convinced myself that those actions screaming at you were my true feeling when in reality I’m just running

Please don’t blame yourself for any of this, you honestly did nothing wrong.

My way of loving was damaged long ago.

As I leave you for him take comfort in one thing

Just like I hurt you is how I’ll hurt him.

The time that we had has past

Im sorry it didn't last

We both didn't see this coming

On our relationship

A dark shadow has been cast

Maybe one day your eyes will dry

Need not to worry why

Ive shed many a tear

A redness have overtaken my eye.

Im sorry your heartbreaks

Your soul shakes

My heart aches

But my soul is happy

Saying bittersweet goodbye

Frustrated hand, a bridge,

wails of his heart in question.

A lament of her heart in remorse

covered by a blanket of sand,

their hands

a sign of desired comfort.

“So you just want to throw this all away”, I yelled with so much anger. “10 years and two children”, I continued. He acted as if I wasn't even talking at all. Never turning around from packing his shit. Blood pressure thru the roof. Just couldn't believe what was going on in my life. I have put my entire life on hold to support my family and husband. We were so happy once before. My soulmate and life partner supposedly. “You don't hear me talking to you”, I slapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. “Yeah I fucking hear you”, he finally responded. “Then say something”, I sat besides him. “Ok look, what do you want me to say”, he turned to me. “I'm tired of listening and don't want to talk to you”. The look in his eye showed no compassion. “You know what I’ll just get my shit later”. He walked out the door slamming it behind him. I laid across my bed crying my eyes out. The man Im supposed to spend my future with, is trying to become just a memory of my past. My mind is racing and heart just broken. How dare he think we’re just over when he say. I’m not signing shit either.

You were supposed to love me

But instead you abused my trust for your gain

You were supposed to love me

But instead you ripped my heart out, stabbed it, stepped on it & gave it back

You were supposed to love me but you lied & lied over again

As if it was your truth

Second nature

You were supposed to love me

But your centered need became more important than a human being, someone you claimed to love.

Your worldly ways consume your whole being

Turning you into a hideous creature I can barely recognize

You were supposed to love me

But I thank you

Even though it hurts

It hurts so bad

You made me realize you do not deserve me

You were supposed to love me

But I thank you

I am better than this

You were supposed to love us

Everything you put us through

We deserve so much more

You were supposed to be our protector

Keeping us safe from harm but you are the cause of all this hurt & pain

You were supposed to support us

In times of need, through encouragement & nurturing

But you left us to wither & fade into a non-existent state

Your cowardly traits expose an insecure being bound by lust & greed

You made me believe that I am not worthy

But your blindness has cleared my doubt

And I know more than ever that I am blessed & highly favored because I am His child

I will never forget the intensity of this trauma

I will never forget the forceful expulsion of harsh words you sprayed me with

I will never forget the deepness of their cut

Etched on my mind forever

We will never forget the importance of priority

We will never forget the definition of family

Actions speak louder than words

So do not try to fool them with gifts to over compensate your lack

As we lack nothing, for we are His

Baby don’t you see, I love you, like I have loved no other. But .....I had never been loved before.......So when you actually loved me......I rejected it..... I just didn’t know what it was..... I didn’t know?????

Don't compare your first to your last,

Don't compare slow to fast.

Dont compare that girl to this woman,

Don't compare pushing to pulling.

Once you compare,

You compete,

Once you compete

You compromise.

Don't compare that hurt to this happiness,

Don't compare cleanliness to nastiness.

Don't compare this boy to that man,

Don't compare your left to your right hand.

As you see there's a good and bad,

And there's a difference between happy and sad,

So don't compare something to nothing,

Because once you compare,

You compete,

Once you compete,

You compromise.

Of a rope that was once new

All that's left is a pile of unraveled thread

Falling apart with every time I went unheard

Until hardened by time and topped with resentment

The pains seeped out of my pores

Until the unconscious surfaced

The thought of hurting you never crossed my mind

Not initially at least

But the more I felt his eyes, the more I knew I was real

That I hadn't disappeared from this earth

It was a familiar feeling, like reconnecting with an old friend

There are no excuses here

Just truths behind treasonous acts

I'm sorry that this isn't enough for me

I'm sorry that I hurt you

I'm sorry that I could not contain the contaminated parts of me

You me and him

Why you do that, wait a minute I got some beer on tap.

Why you do that, he was just filling the gap. He can’t even rap.

Next time you see that cat, tell him, you me and him and my baseball bat. Cause homie don’t play that.

You , me and him.

It was a mistake not of love, but a mistake of character

Her heart that bleeds love needed strength to take of her

He knew when he saw her the damage was done

Their hearts were now separate, love no longer one

She on the floor and he on the bed

Tears on her face his hands held his head

Regret, shame, a world of remorse

Heart ache, betrayal had set their new course

A wound from love produces a scar

That forces the wearer to guard their heart

And when it becomes time to love again

The scar reminds you love comes from within

This knowledge of love and protection of self

gained from this pain, is the worlds greatest wealth

My heart is lonely

I can’t ever think again that you’re my one and only.

I done! I’m tired!

You make me feel ugly!

I wanted to love you but you broke me. My heart, my love is no longer for you.

Ive hurt for so long and held it all in , what u didnt give another man did!! He made me feel loved, while you pushed away! Dont think i didnt know about your little Friend, she calls your phone 25 times a day!! I thought that If I played your game the pain would just go away!! Now we're sitting here face to face With tears falling down our face, i didn't want it to come to this As i lean to give you a good bye kiss!!!!

Abandoned.

Anxiously wondering when will she understand my plans for her are heavenly.

Neglect.

32 calls and one hundred and eight texts yet you still found a way to have sex.

Frustrated.

Bubble bath bubbling to ease the nerves of the long days I hope you never have.

Regret.

Making it on time and pulling up on set to make sure your needs are met .

Question.

When I answered your calls, answered your needs , answered your fears and answered your tears why Am I left with the answer ...

Do you still love him?

 was unhappy and you were too blind to see. I stopped loving you but you still loved me.When i met him i forgot you. I didnt mean to but oh what did i do!! Im so sorry that i gave it to you

I’m sorry I cheated, I felt embarrassed, abandoned, & mistreated... Although you never said it, it was the way you carried yourself I felt it, dreaded it... every time I looked in your eyes, the sparkle was gone- I’ll never forget it... how it made me feel that type of hurt is blatantly real... so, you asked why didn’t I tell you too? My eyes confirmed we’re through.

She fell to her knees

And he quivered in agony

All while knowing what's truly happening

Her love was pure and flourishing

But he neglected her needs...with lack of emotional connectivity

Due his own deep and darkened harsh realities

Unable to be transparent....thus his unwillingness to vulnerabilities

Which will forever keep him on captivity, to his mental stability