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Love Garden

Holistic Hair Cuisine

By Ayisha ZakiaPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Last year, I completed a major milestone in my life by graduating from my PhD program. What I thought would be a time for celebration, job opportunities and financial increases, turned out to be just the opposite.

Covid hit. Everything halted. I had to oblige. One of them was full-time employment. Unfortunately, many potential job opportunities froze, and my life felt like it did too. I had to embrace my gifts. Jobs stepped back, and my abilities were forced to step up. If you know me, I like stability. I like knowing I have a steady check and benefits. It’s comfortable. I like being cozy. However, it seems God may have other plans.

After many sleepless nights of having conversations with anxiety, I decided to do something with what felt like wasted energy. Worrying was getting me nowhere. True rest and relaxation seemed to run from me, and I felt showered with guilt if I chose to watch television or have any type of fun. I convinced myself that that time would be better suited searching for employment.

In the midst of a crying spell, I stood one morning to wipe my face and stare at myself in the mirror. The person looking back at me was almost unrecognizable. I’d gained weight because of lack of movement and wallowing in junk food; my eyes had bags under them, and I realized that my massive, coiled hair was shedding in more volumes than it was producing. I was crushed and ashamed.

I’ve always had a love affair with my hair. Any emotion that I have ever had to embrace or overcome has often been met with some sort of hair celebration or therapy, whether it be cornrows, boxed braids, twist, or just letting it go free and allowing it to swell to its maximum capacity. My tresses have always been a reminder of resilience, beauty, patience, survival, and ancestry. There is rarely a time that I touch or view my hair and not see the reflection of generations of women whose hair looks like mine. My hair reminds me of lineage and not giving up. With all that was occurring in my lift, it was something that I had to hold onto. To see it falling out and thinning, it almost destroyed me.

Without medical benefits or funds to see a hair specialist, I began to search online for natural remedies for hair growth. I knew I had to make some changes in more ways than one. In addition, I consulted spiritually with my ancestors to see if I could feel their presence to gain assistance on this matter, and I took the time to listen. Eventually, research and spiritual, familial instructions would become an elixir that reclaimed my hair.

Wanting to share the gift that was given to me, I decided to make more for my loved ones. I had some amber glass bottles in my cabinet and created labels to apply to each. For the sake of presentation, I even had twine to embellish the bottles. Measuring, I cut each string at four inches in length with my favorite pair of scissors and created bows to adorn the elixirs.

Creating and gifting my hair revival in a bottle to friends and family seemed to be the remedy I needed to bring a bit of comfort during such a time of devastation. It offered me some feeling of rejuvenation and renewal.

While many often positively connotate the word renewal, in progress (i.e. reshaping, breaking, rebuilding), it hurts; it stretches; it strengthens. After time, what most see is the fruit. Eventually, even the fruit have to shed and grow again. The cycle is ever evolving. It’s mystical, magical, faith testing, internal breaking, and soul shaking...All for the sake of testimony in the making.

In these moments, I stand on what I’ve overcome in the past and lean on God, the ancestors, obedience, family, friends, and gratitude.

Right now, creating and bottling the elixir is helping to get me through. I call it Love Garden: Holistic Hair Cuisine because it is symbolic of my personal growth during this process. It’s Perfect Pain(as my friend calls it). The pressure and discomfort is not anything I desired to experience, but I guess, it’s what I am needing to become the best version of myself. I’m here for it, but geesh!

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About the Creator

Ayisha Zakia

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