Love, As I See It

Is love the ultimate fulfilment everyone seems to be searching for?

We are often expected to be in a relationship by a certain age.

"Have a partner—you'll have someone to take care of you."

"Don't you feel lonely by yourself?"

Questions like these are asked so often that many of us simply reply, "I'm not ready yet," just to avoid turning a simple conversation into a debate.

Ironically, those who have remained single for a long time rarely dislike love itself.

If you asked me, I would tell you that love is one of the most beautiful and ethereal experiences a human being can have.

Yet, I never found myself wanting a relationship for the sake of having one.

Like many people, I had crushes. I experienced puppy love. There were moments in my younger years when a different turn of events could have easily led me into a relationship, or perhaps even marriage by now.

Life simply unfolded differently.

And looking back, I think that was a blessing in disguise.

Because life taught me what love feels like—not only through romance, but through observation.

I witnessed young love, parental love, sibling love, friendship, elderly love, same-sex love, and the quiet devotion people carry for those they cherish.

Love that wasn't mine, yet moved me as though it were.

The more I observed love, the more I realised how precious it is.

And that curiosity eventually led me toward a different journey: self-love.

Not the commercialised version of self-love, but the kind that asks difficult questions.

How do I care for myself?

How do I regulate my emotions?

How do I communicate honestly?

How do I create the safety I seek from others?

Somewhere along the way, I stopped viewing love as merely a feeling and started understanding it as a practice.

Love is self-awareness.

Love is emotional regulation.

Love is communication.

Love is comprehension.

Love is creating a sense of security for another person without abandoning yourself.

Love is learning what works for your relationship rather than trying to replicate someone else's.

Through self-love, I learned how I wanted to be loved.

More importantly, I learned how I wanted to love.

Today, I feel full.

Not because I have found romantic love, but because I have cultivated love within myself.

If a partner enters my life one day, I want to share that fullness.

And if life unfolds differently, I will not feel empty.

Because love was never missing.

It was simply being built from within all along.

As I observe, loving someone and being in a relationship was never the issue.

The issue often seems to be that many people do not fully know who they are outside of being someone's partner.

A relationship is the integration of two individuals.

But integration does not mean becoming one.

It means two whole people choosing to walk together while still maintaining their own identity.

When there is little understanding of oneself before entering a relationship, it often creates unnecessary clashes, compromises, and expectations.

Not because either person is inherently wrong, but because expectations and reality fail to meet somewhere in the middle.

And when that gap continues to widen, it can slowly invite the end of the relationship itself.

Perhaps this is simply the way I view life.

Not everyone needs the same perspective, nor should they.

Everyone is free to choose the path that makes sense to them.

Yet, when I hear about certain relationship struggles, I sometimes find myself speechless.

Not because I believe I know better, but because some situations seem as though they could have been avoided—or perhaps never invited in the first place—through greater self-awareness and communication.

At the same time, I understand that not every situation requires my opinion.

Not every lesson is mine to teach.

Not every problem is mine to solve.

I am not meant to live life for others, nor am I meant to carry responsibilities that belong to them.

Still, if my experiences, observations, or words can offer someone clarity, comfort, or happiness, then that is a welcome feeling.

Not because I wish to be right, but because I wish for people to suffer less and understand themselves a little more.