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Love & Be Loved

Is it just in the movies?

By Angela Kay DollarPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Every great movie is grounded within the human condition. The most primal element of that condition is to love and be loved! No wonder there are generations of amazing love stories. I believe this is the reason the 2004 movie “The Notebook” was so amazing.

This movie about unchangeable love that burns bright through life’s challenges and never gives up, was Produced during a time divorce rates were at about 50 percent. Then In the love story, it brings out a mental challenge faced by many of the aging, dementia. Dementia, the slow deterioration of the brain affects memory, communication, and everyday task. Even though his wife no longer knew who he was he would not walk away.

Lovingly he would read their life story to her until something within her would kick in and bring her back through the memories. Dementia is an unexplainable loss for you lose the person you love long before they are gone. Every day you look into the face you remember and love but the light within the soul has gone out and they are not the person you once knew. They look at you with blankness and confusion many times. Then there are those little sparks of the person you love, and you cling to those moments. We do not understand but know, for many this is just a part of the process of life. An uncelebrated part of the human condition.

Through the movie, we are carried on a journey of their love and life. In the end, the wife has a stroke from over-excitement, when the flash of memory is gone, and she finds herself in the arms of a man she does not know. She begins Screaming while the nurse rushes in to usher her husband out. Even though his children beg him to come home because mom does not even know who he is. He declares where she is “is home”. Later they let him know she has had a stroke and not doing well. They also tell him he can no longer go see her. That would not stop him as later in the night he sneaks into her room. By some miracle, she knows who he is when he calls her name. He snuggles up to her and they both die. To Love and be loved no matter what. We all want that.

To be loved despite time as in the movie “Outlander”. To be loved despite different social-economic status as in the movie “Titanic”. To find love in the middle of war and conflict and be loved in spite of death as in “Brave Heart” Yes to love and be loved is the most primal of needs.

I have always been a fan of a good love story because I have always had a hunger for love. I never felt secure in love even the love of a parent. So, I loved watching the movies dreaming of what could be but really never believing it would be. How when they had that first kiss skyrockets went off or something crazy. Surely this is all just movie hype I thought.

Movie hype crashed with reality the day I first kissed my husband. We had started talking at work and I really enjoyed his company. I cannot say I got butterflies or weak in the knees when he came around. Although he was enjoyable company. One day I was sick, he came to check on me and have a cup of coffee. To my surprise. he brought me flowers. I lent over to kiss his cheek when I turned away, He caught my hand and pulled me over for a real kiss.

That first kiss rocked my world so unexpectedly when he pulled away, there I stood my eyes snapping. I am sure I was swaying for I felt like I was going to faint. Let me tell you I am not the week in the knee’s kind of girl, at the time I had been working on death row for seven years. My sister says I have a tough persona. Unbelievably, l looked into the eyes of the man who would soon be my third husband grinning like a possum. Yes, he was as cool as a cucumber. What was I going to do?

From then until about two years into our marriage it was a delicate game of cat and mouse. Me, ready to run scared to death I had made another mistake. Him trying to let me know HE LOVED ME!

Two years later I was very sick, and he gently cared for me, bathed me, fed me, and most of all loved me. Finally, I knew I was going to be okay. Yes, to love and be loved is not just for the movies!

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About the Creator

Angela Kay Dollar

My college experience started as a journey to teach. Along the way, I developed a love for writing. I find the challenges intriguing and look forward to meeting them. So, pen to paper here we go!

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