Love 2.0

Hi, I'm a 31 year old girl. I just separated from my partner after five years and I've been single for a while, but I can not know anyone. I would like to start having a relationship with someone, but my life is very stable and routine, and I find it difficult to meet new people. I've signed up for social activities but I haven't met anyone either. I'm thinking about downloading some apps to meet people but I'm a little embarrassed and afraid that it's not for me. Is it good that I sign up for these apps? Thank you.

We've all heard about websites and hundreds of applications aimed at finding a partner and meeting people who are in the same situation as us.

Nowadays it is a good tool, given that most people from 26 years old start to have a stable job, a routine, a group of friends and it is difficult to open the social circle and incorporate new people.

In addition, today's society is increasingly individualistic, which makes it even more difficult to foster unexpected contacts and social relationships. Therefore, these pages help to have access to new relationships.

What do the statistics say?

Statistics show that currently one in five couples have met on the Internet, and that one in six of those who meet on the net gets married.

With regard to the age group, it is becoming wider and more diversified, although the majority is still boys and girls between 25 and 35 years old.

Regarding sex, men are still the main consumers of these pages and contact applications, although the difference with women is shortening. Currently, they account for approximately 60 percent of users and they 40 percent.

Are these pages useful and positive?

Everything can be effective, depending on how we use it. There are pages of many types and with different objectives: to make friends, to have punctual sexual relations, to find a stable partner, and so on.

Therefore, first we have to know which page or application adapts to what we are looking for. From here what I recommend is not to have very high expectations, because we will not find the desired person in a week. Or maybe we will, but it's not the norm.

For this reason, the first step is to learn to show ourselves as we are, let the conversation flow, being aware of what we feel; if we see that things are going well with someone it is advisable to stay soon, without letting the relationship be idealized.

It should be borne in mind that of the total communication with someone 65 percent is non-verbal and 35 percent is verbal. Therefore, we will lack information and we will not be able to finish knowing how we will feel in front of the other when the time comes to get to know each other.

What is the difference between starting a relationship through the Internet or in a traditional way?

The only factor we can lose when we start a relationship over the Internet is seduction. This first step—which can be perceived in the physical world—allows us to know if the other person likes us, if it's time to jump in or let him/her get close to us.

Even so, if we don't let too much time pass between the virtual contact and the first appointment, this seduction process doesn't have to be very different.

Now, we have to keep in mind that the online world has all kinds of people. Thus, one of the basic recommendations is to schedule the first meeting in a public place, surrounded by people. And of course, do not give personal data until you have the necessary confidence.

Can it affect our life as a couple later on?

The relationship doesn't have to be affected at all by having met your partner on the Internet. The only thing that can happen is that our environment does not fully understand or share these new paths to begin in love, and that we are labeled and judged for no reason.

But if we know how to take it and we diminish its importance, the incomprehension of our friends and relatives does not have to affect us.

In some cases I have seen in consultation that jealous and insecure people may think that the couple is still connected to the applications, talking and staying with other people, as a result of this may lead to arguments and misunderstandings.

In these cases a good communication is basic: if we talk and express our feelings and doubts, it is easier to solve the problems, to leave aside the distrust and that everything remains in a small anecdote.