Dating: Do's & Don'ts
Dating: Do's & Don'ts

Long Distance

by Katie Berkenpas 2 years ago in advice

How to Help Your Long Distance Relationship Thrive

Long Distance

Long distance relationships are hard for a lot of reasons. It is never easy being away from the one you love for a long period of time. We as humans desire love, respect, and attention. Here are a few tips and tricks on how to help your long distance relationship be fruitful for both you and your partner.

Step One: Communication is key.

It has been said time and time again that communication is the key to happiness in any relationship: however, this is most vital in one where you cannot physically see your partner on a day to day basis. Carve out time in your schedule just for them. Talk to one another about the basics of your day, share a funny story that happened. Tell them how your day at work went. This helps to keep the both of you involved in each others lives, no matter how simplistic. It is also of utmost importance to talk about the things that may be bothering you. Do not let something simple turn into a bigger issue in your relationship by suppressing it. This only causes bitterness, frustration, and unneeded stress for the both of you. If it bothers you that your partner does not answer your text, bring it up the next time you speak. Ask why they don't reply right away and explain how that makes you feel. It may turn out that they were busy at work and did not have an opportunity to get back to you.

Step Two: Keep the fire alive.

It is tough to keep the fire alive when you are not there physically for one another, so you may have to find other ways to stay intimate. Always voice your feelings towards your partner, and let them know they are appreciated. Every person has an innate drive to feel love. Send a text expressing how grateful you are for them, or leave them a thoughtful message to read when they wake up. Sometimes those three little words are enough to bring a smile to their face, knowing that their favorite person was thinking of them. It is also important to keep the spark alive sexually. Send your partner a special picture or naughty text. Set up a time with your partner to skype one another. It is not easy when you cannot be there physically with your partner, so sometimes you have to get creative.

Step Three: Goals and Aspirations

When you work on something with the person you love, it brings you closer together. In any relationship, you are working with the other person to make things work. Maybe you and your partner like to read. Decide on a book to read together and talk about it weekly. My boyfriend and I like to share our fitness goals with each other and hold the other accountable. Also be aware of their dreams and interests. If you know that they enjoy cars or artwork make it your personal mission to learn more about the subject. When you show you are interested in something they love, it catches their attention and reveals that you care about what they do.

Step Four: A weak link can break the chain.

When your personal life is chaotic, it impacts your loved one's life as well. Recognize your weaknesses and pinpoint a way to mend them. Try to keep your affairs organized. If money is a conflict in your relationship take extra steps to your finances in check. Budget your income to ensure your spending doesn't get out of hand. Take care of your priorities. It is not easy to limit yourself, but taking extra strides in your own life will strengthen the bond between the both of you.

Step Five: Keep it private.

Do not broadcast issues that you and your partner may be having. I cannot stress this enough. I have seen so many relationships break apart because a couple could not find a way to work through their issues privately. It is true that in some circumstances you may need to bring in a third party to help work out some kinks, but this by no means should happen regularly. We all have disagreements, but you should not complain about your partner to your mother, friend, coworker, etc. Work through your issues together and without the opinion of a person who may not understand the conflict fully. Degrading your partner in the company of others will impact their image. A few months down the line you may have forgotten what you said about them, but other people will always remember how you spoke of your loved one.

Katie Berkenpas
Katie Berkenpas
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Katie Berkenpas

"I'm a new soul, I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take. But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear, I'm finding myself making every possible mistake." -Yael Naim

See all posts by Katie Berkenpas