Living Through Hell

by Heather Blackburn 2 years ago in dating

My Life with an Abuser: Chapter 1

Living Through Hell

*Names have been changed*

Okay, to understand this story, you need to know how it all came about.

I was 22. Ready to live my life and explore my sexuality. I moved from a small eastern town to a city in Ontario, full of hopes and dreams. I found a great job that I loved and worked hard at for 3 years. Then I met who I thought was the man of my dreams. Well, this is no fairytale.

John was a single father with four kids at the time. I was visiting a friend from work who was his next-door neighbor. His second youngest daughter was potty training and had wet the bed. He came over to use the washer and dryer because he didn't have one of his own. John was cute. Tall, brown hair, hazel eyes, muscles from working as a roofer his whole life. I figured I would see about just having a one night stand or two. Was not looking for a full-time relationship. We got to talking and exchanging numbers. I even went as far as licking chocolate and whipped cream off his neck before I left. Just to drop the most obvious hint ever.

John gave me a call the next day and we went out for dinner. It was my birthday. We went back to his place and hooked up. I went home and went to work the next day, not expecting to hear from him again. But I was wrong.

A few days passed and he called me up and asked if I would like to come visit him that weekend. I said sure. A weekend away from my roommates and all of their bullshit would have been good. So I packed a bag and went to his place. It was not far and only took me a few minutes to get there. Little did I know, he had his kids. That's how I got roped in to a step-mom type relationship.

The relationship was not bad at first. John put on this big face about being the victim and how he was being treated badly from the baby mommies for no reason. I guess being the soft heart I was, I took pity on him. Even though having four kids from two different mothers should have been a big red flag. Then after about a month, little things started to show through.

John got evicted from his apartment for not paying the rent, even though he had a good paying job, so he had to move in with his mom. We still saw each other, but I didn't sleep over anymore. I should take the time to inform you readers that he had a huge drug and alcohol problem, which he hid very well for the first few months.

Living with his mom, John started to show some of his true colors. He started to drink more around me and leave the kids with his mom more and more to go do a drug run or a beer run, even if I was there. One day he left with a friend of his to go get more beer and asked me to watch something on the stove for him. His second youngest daughter was in the kitchen with me. I said sure and he left.

While he was out, his step-father, Archie, came in to the kitchen and asked where he was. I said I was not sure, just said he would be back in a minute. John returned while Archie was in the kitchen with me and his daughter. They started yelling and it lead to each of them throwing punches. I rushed the kids to my place and gave their mom a call and explained the situation. She came to pick them up a few minutes later. A few weeks later, when I kept spotting, I was informed from the doctors that I was having a miscarriage.

At this point you think I would have gotten the hint to leave and never speak to the guy again. For a few days afterwards the only form of communication we had was texting. I should have been smart and left him and forgotten all about him, but he got desperate and started getting the kids to call me. After a month, he asked me out for coffee to apologize and asked to give him another chance. I am a trusting person and he was promising me, with what I thought was sincerity, so I agreed to give our relationship one more shot. Boy was I wrong.

End of chapter one.

dating
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'