Living Out Long Distance Friendships

I don’t know about you but “Long-Distance” doesn’t conjure up the best of feelings in the pit of my stomach. To me, long-distance always meant goodbyes and promises of calling each other regularly that not so slowly turned into phone tag then silence. My first experience with “long-distance” was in sixth grade when one of my closest friends moved from five minutes away to 20 minutes away- and man, let me tell you—it was ROUGH. We went from having the freedom of seeing each other practically whenever we wanted to having to plan hang outs, check our schedules AND our parents schedules, and coordinate drop off and pick ups. And don’t even get me started on the rollercoaster of emotion we both went through as she navigated her new school and made new friends (and then wanted me to MEET them, the nerve of her!). But lo and behold, that 20 minutes didn't stand a chance when it came to our friendship.

My second long-distance friendship came as an adult and if I thought that 20 minute difference was tough, I had no idea what I was in for. When I was in my mid-twenties, my closest friend (you know that girl that you absolutely couldn’t stand at first and then one day you can’t imagine your life without—yeah, her) moved first two hours away, then roughly 34 hours away, and now back to eight hours away. Picture that emotional rollercoaster. We faced social life differences (both of us making new friends while leaving space for each other), different time zones, and work/life balance—all while trying to balance our friendship. But here we stand, strong as ever. A little bit after that friend was on her second move (34 hours and a time zone away), another friend that I had made to help fill the void—was on her way to a 15 hour move, and then a 23 hour move (I sure know how to pick ‘em, don’t I?!). To say it hurt when I found out another close friend was making such big moves would be an understatement—but at the same time it came with the sense of relief that if friend A and I could do it, friend B and I could too. And guess what? We have.

So why are they such a gift, you might be asking? It’s pretty simple... allow me to explain.

1. My long-distance friends are the friends that I go to for the most ridiculous, and important moments in my life.

Sure, I go to other friends too, but I always take my long-distance friends input with an extra grain of salt.Why? Because they know me through thick and thin, but also see things from the outside. Everything from the simple, “hey should I buy this swimsuit, or do I look like I’m trying too hard?” Snapchats to getting their advice on work situations, family issues, and the inevitable boy drama. Their perspective and advice is treasured; because even though they’re “in” it from a distance, they’re also not IN it on the day to day.

2. You want truth?

They'll give it to you. They don’t have to deal with repercussions of upsetting me, since it’s not like they’re going to see me the next day, so they feel free to let me know how they truly feel about something. Maybe that’s partially their personality, too—but whatever the case, the distance definitely helps.

3. Everything from them is much more appreciated.

Maybe it’s because you don’t see them as much, or because subconsciously you miss them so much that knowing they’re thinking of you makes you feel that much better. I’m not sure what it is but everything—cards, texts, calls, tags in silly memes, etc. they all just feel even better coming from that friend you don’t see nearly enough.

4. Can we talk about the reunions really quick?!

Not only do you get to see your long-lost friend, soulmate, person, whatever you choose to call them—but you get to do ALL. OF. YOUR. FAVORITE. THINGS with them!! You get to see your favorite places, eat your favorite food, and catch up with one of your favorite people all at the same time. Plus, it’s a tie between what’s better, in-person belly laughs or the long-awaited hug that you didn’t even know you needed.

5. One of the best parts about having a long distance friend—

Even though it sucks that you’re not together as much as you want to be, you’re building two completely separate lives in completely separate places—so topics of conversation, places/people/stories to share simply never run out—and you WANT to share them with your friend as soon as you can. The even better part about that? Your friend wants to experience it all with you because “tell me EVERYTHING” is not just a phrase, it’s a way of life with them.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it, long-distance friendship is not for the weak or faint of heart. It’s not for the friendships that are all-too-willing to give up after one little fight or misunderstanding. It’s not for the people who aren’t willing to make a friendship or relationship live up to its potential. It’s not for the person who lacks effort. But for the people who care, try, work, and truly care about that relationship—it can offer something absolutely incredible that you didn’t know you were missing in your life. And as an added bonus, if your friendship can survive miles, bodies of water, time zones, or even countries—then you have something truly invaluable, something some might call a treasure, or even the greatest gift of all.