Little Moments

I have had lots of little moments in my life. I tend to look at the small things. I am going to talk about a small moment in the course of a friendship. A friendship I wish I still had. I am going to chronicle our friendship and what led up to this one moment that changed my life forever. A moment that if it had not happened, I would not be here today.

Our friendship started in High School. It was 10th grade. When we first met each other, I was shy at first. I would like to say that even though I was shy I have always had an easier time making friends with girls over guys. I did not know why that was until later in life.

We became Best Friends fast. She introduced me to the group we sat with at lunch for three years. It was a fun and smart table. I started taking her home from school and spending time at her house. She was the reason High School was bearable for me.

We had our ups and downs during those three years. A couple of down times was the car wreck we got into when I was driving. It was not a bad accident. We were able to fix my car ourselves. The other bad thing was a fight we had. It took a while to get over that one.

The good was that she was there through some rough times and was a great Best Friend. She would make sure I was part of the conversation at the lunch table. Where she shined was our one-on-one time and through the letters. I know it sounds strange for people today but over three years we wrote hundreds of letters to each other. I still have them today. I will include part of one of these letters later. Those letters keep me sane through High School.

Let's go to the events that led up to the one moment I will forever be grateful for. In the 11th grade I began dealing with Depression. I Just want to stop here and say get help. I did not and still have not. I am better able to cope now but back then I needed help.I would get into a funk for months at a time. The times I was not in the funk I was angry for some reason. There were very few good times in between the funks.

She started to notice and started asking if I was ok. Eventually she was just there for me without asking what the problem was. She only stepped in when she started noticing the cuts on my hands and feet. This led to the two things she did that is the reason I am here today. Both helped in the moment, but one still helps me whenever I get really down. The one moment was when we were in her kitchen alone when we just started talking. I do not remember the exact words but I know she made me care about my life and how my life affects everyone around me. She let it be known that I would be missed if anything ever happened to me. I walked away from that one conversation knowing that she cared about me and that I mattered.

The other thing she did was write a long list of things that I would never get to do if something happened to me. I am including some of the list here

Number one on the list was I would miss you. I wouldn't get married. No more Movies. No more Music. There were a lot about people missing me. There was a lot related to me and her.

I still look at that list when I get down. It is crazy I still have not done most of the things on the list. Sometimes I think that is a good thing because it gives me things to look forward to.

It is amazing that one moment in a three-year friendship can mean so much. It can change you forever.