Little Beads

Aqua blue sky with white twirling cotton candy flasks were the window to my grey formally dull iris. Body laid on fresh green grass. Everything seemed normal for a view. I laid there watching and thought about serendipity.

I remembered it was about time to get going. I had to have dinner with my dad and his other family which I haven’t met since the day he left my mother and me. I really don’t understand when you say you love someone so much that you end up leaving her for someone else. I don’t know what feelings are and I don’t want to even know the meaning of love. I hate the thought or even the word. I know it’s not real. It does not exist. Believe it or not. I won’t ever indulge myself with this concept. A man says he loves but leaves. Simply a lie. The lies are sweet words that dress up good to be true, I still don’t understand how people fall in it.

Dinner with a bunch of discourteous beings. It had been an hour of familiar monogamies. Everything seemed normal and comforting. The room filled with laughter and welcoming vibes. Pineapple altered as a favourite fruit to associate in the entrees served. A bit of exquisite delicacies. Lastly a good game of charades and I drive back home.

I appreciate my father. I admire my mother. I am very content with myself. I know what I want. I want to be able to run free one fine day and chase my dreams and see things in the world that I haven’t seen or felt. The real type of luck. Like a great screen-play or a musical. Surf the Safari and climb the Everest. See the Himalayas and dive the depths of Bora Bora.

I believe in fate and destiny but I don’t believe in the word love. Think what you want. You have your own way of seeing life. Everything has its reasons. Senior year was on. School looked deliberately amusing. Reluctantly I retrieved my books from my maroon coloured locker and walked to the first period which was biology. Had to tackle the day.

I walked up my front porch. Headsets on. Listening to ‘Young’ by the Chainsmokers. I monitored the house next door drawn to the thought of having new neighbours.

Looking properly at the neighbourhood. Watching a lime creamy Volkswagen Golf pull into the vacant house next door. Curious about who might come out. Long blonde dreadlocks with nerdy black framed glasses. Short but cool. Olive skinned and gorgeous as hell. Freckles on her cheeks. I know right, you’d probably be thinking how I could see her face from a distance. I don’t know but I got to see her clearly.

Next day at school I bumped into her. Dreadlock girl was lost within the halls. I insisted on showing her around but she had generously declined. I was truly mesmerized. I had to know her. I ended up having chemistry with her. I got to know her and she appears to be so down to earth.

Am I lucky or was it just destiny. Her name is Alice and she is from Costa Rica. Unusual feelings started piling ever since she invaded my life. I got to know that weird but sensual energy coming from her. We had a lot in common. We liked the Band Chainsmokers, pineapple was the centre of our universe. But our favourite colours were total opposites. Geeky but passionately adventurous indeed. As time went by, days spent together had drawn emotional bonds. I think I might be falling for Alice.

Surfing down the waves of Malibu and observing that magnificent sunset view, floral pink and citrus colour blending into the creamy blue sky eased the noon. Genuinely perceived by conclusions to my feelings I had just realised my true desire longing to become more than just a friend for Alice. I rang asking to maybe meet up later.

Another dinner was set up for my father’s 57th birthday. I wore a bright green Tuxedo by Gucci. It had to look like a happy night and bright colours were a compliment to the theme. Pineapples and more pineapples. Laughter in the air. Love in the light blue moon gaze, the stars were definitely shining on Alice.

With regret in my heart, news had arrived that Alice is my step sister. I was shuttered and pieces of me were separated. Thoughts of unreasonable doubt. I couldn’t resist her smile. I reached out to her and stole a kiss under the moon light. From then on getting caught had torn us apart and separated forever. Forever. It was forbidden.