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Life Lesson #3: I’m Not That Person Anymore!

by Ken 5 months ago in advice
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You are allowed to make changes in life to improve yourself!

Courtesy: Johann Walter Bantz via

Have you ever thought about yourself in these terms?

“I used to smoke; I used to drink excessively; I used to abuse drugs; I used to shout profanities; I used to be a racist; I used to be prejudicial; I used to not be able to think for myself; I used to discriminate; I used to lie and cheat; I used to let my anger control my emotions; I used to talk down to people; I used to hate; I used to be a fake person; I used to be trustworthy; I used to talk down to people less fortunate than me; I used to be selfish, jealous, envious and self-centered; I used to think the world revolved around me;” or how about “I used to steal”.

Merciless self-criticism is terribly destructive!

The world we live in is filled with all these vices, yes, but also many others. Since we are all “enabled” by free will to make our own decisions, it is up to each of us to, hopefully, choose the right path for ourselves.

As each of us travels down our life’s path, we may be enticed to follow one or more of these “forks in the road” representing one of the above-named vices. Usually, they aren’t clearly marked with their real names. Instead, they almost always are cleverly disguised as “fun”, or “exciting”, or “intriguing”, or perhaps even “captivating” paths. So many “positive” adjectives make it impossible for us to see they all spell one word: T-R-O-U-B-L-E!

These “forks” are usually not well-marked. There are no illuminated street signs to guide us in a different direction.

Our free will blinds us from seeing the ugliness of these paths.

It also fools us into thinking we are on the right path. Sometimes a family member, our “friends” or “co-workers” may lead us into exploring a different path. The more we explore, the farther away from our intended destination we become.

We lie to ourselves, saying things like “I’ve got this under control”, or “I’m only going to do this once”. But, in reality, we are simply trying to justify continuing down the wrong path.

Once you pick up a habit, whether good or bad, it’s hard to stop!

Luckily, whichever path we have chosen always has its own “fork in the road” leading us back to more normal reality. The “turns” in our current path are dictated by each individual!

Just as free will allowed us to venture down this or that path in the first place, we have it within ourselves to use that same free will to jump onto a new path at any time we choose.

You see, what most people found on the wrong path don’t seem to realize is that each of them has always had the power to change the direction they want to travel at any point along the path.

Courtesy: Binti Malu · Photography (

Sir Isaac Newton famously discovered gravity. Gravity is what binds us to earth so we don’t all float into outer space and it is what has helped place all of us on our own separate life pathways.

We owe Sir Isaac a debt of gratitude, not only for discovering gravity but also because of one other tenet he established: “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”.

By now you’re probably thinking “If that’s all there is to it, why doesn’t everyone do it? Why not just turn?”

That’s a very logical thought.

In reality, what happens to slow them down is a thing called baggage. No one can walk any path of life without accumulating baggage. It grows larger and larger the longer we go down the path. It seems insurmountable and is unavoidable, for the most part.

It comes by means of our own actions at times. At other times, someone else throws their stuff on top of ours. If our baggage consisted of only our simple material belongings, it would be a snap to make the turn.

Regrettably, we all have physical or emotional baggage we must haul around which keeps us glued to our current path. We want to change direction, but we seem to have lost the steering wheel, so to speak, so we can’t alter our path.

No one is suggesting it will be easy to hop onto a better path for ourselves. On the contrary!

It takes a great deal of courage, hard work, motivation, and changes of habits, as well as support from our family, friends, and significant others. But, it can be done!

Some will even need specific counseling specialists to help us regain our self-esteem. These are the ones we call helpers, but in reality, they are angels in our lives, sent to help us recoup our dignity, strength, willpower, and determination so we can move on with living in a more pleasant environment.

If anyone reading this is currently undergoing any of these terrible vices, I will encourage you to take just one turn, one step at a time, in the direction you want to travel. There are people standing beside your path who are willing to help.

The path you are on is a vicious circle leading to nowhere!

Others among us are praying for your safe return to the path of your choice. You and you alone must choose to battle these monsters, but you won’t be fighting them alone. Fight them into submission and remember, never give up!

All comments are appreciated and always welcomed!

Thanks for reading this!


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