Life has repeated in cycles that are hard to deny

Circumstances have brought undeniable heartache and sadness. Life has repeated in cycles that are hard to deny our accountability in it. There have been so many years of rejection after we gave so much love and attention to others. It would appear looking back with the blatantly obvious evidence that we gave our power away. We trusted perhaps in the wrong people, but that is part of our character that is beautiful.

I believe that you carried the burden on your shoulders of not being good enough, and asking the questions, what is wrong with me, how can I change for them to love me? How many years, days, or months have you believed in this blasphemy? How has that served you in your life? Stop trying to compare yourself to anyone or find ways to be prettier, thinner, smarter, or more of anything, frankly. You are more than good enough right now. If he left you, stop blaming yourself. If he is with someone else, and you are asking yourself what she has that you do not? Nothing! When he leaves, let him. When he tells you it is over, believe him! Stop finding fault inside yourself!

People find themselves in storylines that they never thought possible but, here they are, single parent at 48 years old or a widow at 25 years old. Life happens, and just as it serves you a raw deal, it will also bless you with a pot of gold. Some may have to endure years of hellish events that seem cruel or years of being alone before that right person walks into their life. An absolute necessity is to remain open-hearted. Stop being a victim, and anticipate love will come.

He was more than I could have ever have imagined in my mind. He was tall, rugged, had hard-working man hands with piercing blue eyes that could look right into my beating heart. His voice was deep but welcoming, and his arms held me like a warm cabin by a blazing fire. He had a magnetic pull that drew me in. We could stay up all night laughing and talking or saying nothing at all. My heart lifted every time he held my hand, and his kisses were addicting. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world, and his sincerity coupled with a raw innocence was his most endearing quality.

He wrote me handwritten notes in the morning before work. He brought me flowers in the evening. He embraced my children like his own, and he nurtured every broken piece of my soul. He took the time to invest in me. He made me feel safe to be open to him sexually. Neither one of us was perfect, but my thoughts ruminated around when the other shoe would drop. I tried to divert my thoughts, but past hurt always seeped in. He understood this. He was patient, empathetic, and he honored his commitment to love me, respect me, and stay with me. He was generous and kind. He was fun, and he made me feel like my presence mattered. He made me feel alive.

There was a day that I conceded to myself that I would be alone for life, and I accepted this. Soon after, the most handsome man walked into my world. After a short time, he took me to a mountain top, bent down on his knee, and asked me to marry him. He knew that proposing intimately was what my heart desired. I am a private woman, and he displayed his love in the most loving and personal way. He knew me so well.

T0day we are blissfully happy in a joyful marriage surrounded by our family and friends in a house full of love. He does not complete me, and I don’t need him to feel whole, he is my life partner. He gives me so much love, affection, and experiences that bring me complete joy. He enhances the very best qualities in me and makes me feel in love with life. He is my husband, or at least I anticipate he will be when God brings him to my open heart.