My life has always had its ups and downs, just like everyone elses'. I have faced discrimination for my choices, and I have been praised for them. It has definitely never been easy... but I get by. Things got worse as I grew older, that is until I learned to not care what other people think. This story starts when I was thirteen, back when I had just started high school.
Upon entering high school, I had a boyfriend. This relationship would continue on and off throughout high school, and even some time after. As time went on, I could tell he didn't really want the same things I did. He wanted to live out his twenties partying, buying "toys," and living the high life. I was the type who had always wanted to settle down after school and have a family.
Towards the end of high school, I began to search for a college to attend the following year. At first, I had my heart set on going for my associate's degree in Business Management. I ended up changing my mind at the last minute to follow my high school sweetheart to his college. In fact, out of complete stupidity I went for the same associate's degree that he was going for. We ended up in every class together, so we would just ride to college together (which was an hour away).
The first couple of months of college were great... and it seemed like our relationship was going to be okay. Since we were riding together every day, it felt like we were getting closer. That feeling soon ended when I learned he had been talking to someone else. It was a person that we had fought about before, because this girl was always acting a little inappropriate around him, even though she knew he had a girlfriend.
Although I expressed my feelings about him talking to this girl, he kept speaking to her on a regular basis. That's when I realized he was never going to respect me, let alone settle down. So, after a couple of weeks of this going on, I gave him an ultimatum: we make plans to get married, or we were done. Reluctantly, he chose to ask me to marry him. At first, I was happy, but then it became clear he was only doing it to shut me up.
One day while sitting in class, it hit me. If he was going to talk to whoever he wanted, then I should be able to talk to whoever I want. That was when I started talking to this other guy in our college classes. After a couple of days texting back and forth, and building a friendship, we decided to hang out outside of school. We met up at the mall, and just walked around, talking about random things. It turned out to be a lot of fun, more fun than I had had in months. The two of us just seemed to get each other, while other people did not.
Our college began to not do so well, losing students to the point where there were only four of us in the entire degree category. So, in our classes it was myself, my fiancé, my new friend, and an older woman. Things became more complicated as time went on. This other guy and I began to hang out a lot more, and that was when it happened: he told me he liked me more than a friend. So, at this point I had to decide what I was going to do about it.
I began to distance myself from my fiancé, driving to class by myself, not hanging out with him out of school. To be fair, I decided to try to make it work with my fiancé before I just jumped into a new relationship with this other guy. I tried talking to him, and I even went as far as to tell him about this other guy liking me. Instead of trying to make things work on his end, he just began to not care about me. Then came the day where it all blew up.
Everything was put out into the open, and I had decided to be with the other guy and break off my engagement. My now ex fiancé began to be extremely hateful, calling me a whore, and saying that I had broken apart our relationship. The thing of it is, it took the both of us to break apart that relationship. The second he began to not respect my feelings, I found someone who did respect them. So, when I asked for my things from his house, he drove past my house and threw them out his truck window, which was completely uncalled for.
Our college was shut down not too long after the big blow up happened, so we no longer were spending all day in the same room together. I began to live with my new boyfriend, getting an apartment of our own. We have been together for four years now, married for one. Together we have a beautiful daughter who is now two and we are very happy with one another, which is all I have ever wanted in my life.
Still to this day, I am judged for my life choices. My mother and I no longer have a relationship. My father and I get along better than ever before (my parents are divorced). Every day I deal with people hating me for "ruining" my ex fiancé's life. People don't know the truth about what really happened between us, so I decided to write this story to show them.
No matter what situation people are in, we all need to learn to stand up for each other, rather than taking sides. The fact is, people will never know the truth behind every decision someone makes, just know that they are making that decision to better themselves and their own lives. I used to make decisions based on what everyone else thought, or wanted. Now, I make them for my own benefit regardless of how someone is going to view it. My moral of my story is, never let anyone make you feel like everything is your fault. Thank you for reading!