Let’s Talk About Jealous and Possessive Men

The biggest problem in the world of couple relationships is related to jealous or very possessive men.

Although they are desperate to find a woman to love and adore, after they manage to have her, the possessive men remain in a state of despair due to the fear of not losing her.

This morbid panic is usually due to a lack of self-confidence or self-respect, first to one's partner.

They think she doesn't really deserve it and try to subjugate her, making her as dependent on them as possible. in their own person.

The first step in a woman's ordeal is not being able to recognize a jealous or possessive man at first sight.

What possessive men want

Many times, he can be charming and handsome, he has the world at his feet or so it seems, and his girlfriend has no reason to doubt that he has hit the prince of her dreams. Maybe this role, like a good boy, is only a first phase of manifestation of an obsessed Othello ...!

However, if a girl could find out from the beginning who she was dealing with, life could be much more beautiful.

I first noticed "obsessive-compulsive disorder" a few years ago, at the beginning of college.

At the end of the classes, an impressive procession of "friends" waited, in the street or in the cars, for their chosen ones to appear.

I later discovered that many of them did not do it out of courtesy or affection. The balloon of illusions suddenly broke, when a colleague confessed to me that she can't even go for a coffee, after classes because her friend doesn't like it and insists on taking her from college, according to the daily schedule on who knows it by heart. If the girl wanted to go somewhere else, she had to let him know the day before.

This shocking revelation may be familiar to many women reading these lines, but at the time, I still didn't realize how big such a problem it was for a boy.

The keyword in such a case is lack of self-confidence.

Usually, jealous and possessive men are obsessed with the thought that their girlfriends can be stolen from under their noses, anytime, anyway. They do not trust her or her words of love and ignore the fact that she is with them.

Such men constantly suspect that their partner does not really care about them and that she is plotting, moment by moment, a plan to get rid of them at the first opportunity.

Why?

For the simple reason that somewhere in the depths of their souls, they feel that they do not deserve this woman or that she could be far superior to them.

These feelings create a major dilemma for a possessive man.

"If she really wants to run away from me, how can I make her stay?"

The answer immediately appears:

"All I have to do is make her addicted to me, make her want me, and make her not go anywhere without me. Even if I go out every night with the boys!"

A man who does not love himself cannot understand why he could be loved by a woman, but he needs to feel that he is loved and he wants her to always show him how much she could do for him.

Such a man will always insist on the "positive attitude" for the two of them to stay together as much as possible at home, and the girl's social, group activities will disappear completely into nothingness.

"Home is the place where you are always in my eyes!"

As the couple's relationship evolves, the possessive type will find new ways to ensure that his partner does not detach from him.

He can invent, for example, fictional scenarios in which he needs her help and support, which will take the woman away from her social circle. Instead of meeting friends, she will stay with her partner to support him.

Of course, in the beginning, such a step is part of building a romantic relationship.

After all, every woman wants to spend as much time as possible with the man she loves.

If he is part of the possessive category, however, he will take care that little by little, he will move his partner away from her friends and her daily activities, and may even reach the stage of proving to her girlfriend that her friends are not for her. fact friends. He will gradually isolate her from her own needs or goals.

After the isolation is completed, the possessive man will move on to a new stage, in which he will criticize his partner and make her see herself in a deformed mirror, in order to be sure that she will lose her self-esteem.

If the woman no longer values ​​herself, why would she think that someone else could appreciate her?

The possessive guy will tell the woman next to him how lucky she is because she is with him and he will declare that he will always love her for what she really is !! Eventually, a degree of addiction mixed with fear could be built, causing the woman to believe everything he says.

The identity of such a woman will dissipate, and her friends will wonder, disappointed and worried, why they are ignored ...

At this stage, the jealous or possessive brings the woman, exactly where she wanted from the beginning, that is, in isolation and domination.

He feels better about himself because his partner now depends on him, but that does not mean that he has come to trust her, as he will always believe that she is plotting a conspiracy to escape from him.

The possessive man does not believe even now that he is loved and needs constant evidence and demonstrations of love. Both the man's and the woman's friends will have no idea, but they may suspect what is happening in this couple.

He will continue to be a "gang type" in his social circles, and she will be able to get to the point where she is afraid to leave the house, so as not to have horrible scenes at home.

This is not a real way to live your life.

We do not look for a partner for such things and we end up in a relationship.

All we want is to be wanted and loved. But not in this way!

Ironically, a small dose of jealousy can work wonders for a couple.

Small portions of jealousy, very small and arousing laughter can create an attractive and sexy atmosphere.

But when things go too far ...

Many women admit that a man without the slightest shiver of jealousy cannot truly love them.

A man can sometimes show through gestures of affection that he does not want to be underclass by his partner. These little shades bring pleasure to a couple. But things should not be pushed too far!

There are many reasons why men become possessive in contemporary society.

It is possible that, with the professional assertion of the woman and the acquisition of the capacity to become financially and socially independent, men began to feel threatened.

The traditional role of husband and father, their dominant voice in the house, has lost its vigor today.

To compensate for this, they try to re-evaluate their role in a couple's relationship.

The old habits, however, are die-hard, and some men are still trying to cling to the concepts according to which they were educated!

It can take them a long time to find out that they are not always in the first place in a relationship and that they need to pay attention to their partner's needs, just as they pay attention to themselves.

Men who are not satisfied with their role in a household are lacking in masculinity, have frustrations with their professional career, lack financial success, dominant parental influence, and comfort with their own selves. They can easily fall prey to a progressive possessive tendency.

Being with someone does not mean, however, owning it like a thing.

Being loved is an open invitation and not something that needs to be captured and held captive!

A happy, self-confident man has no problems with possessiveness and jealousy. on his. A relationship between a man and a woman involves sharing, but also freedom of expression and personal identity of each member of the couple. Such a relationship is born and lives by genuine mutual trust.

Jealous and possessive men are pathetic and poor creatures, who can be found every day on the street.

No woman should be complicit in being with them, just as no woman deserves.

The great irony is that a relaxed and confident man will never drive a woman away, while a selfless person will force the note to make even the thing that terrifies him the most happen.

Being abandoned ...!

If you are a woman who has reached the end of her patience due to such a man, you will need friends and family to support you in dealing with a person who has serious psychological problems.

To bring you back, he will try every method to make you think you need him and will insist on the weaknesses that he himself has created in you.

Danger signs on a potentially jealous man possessive:

• Criticisms of the woman's appearance and suggestions on how she should dress;
• Overly concerned about the places where a woman socializes.
• Insistence on leading a woman to even the most mundane of sordid places;
• Trying to change the social sphere of women;
• Extremely frequent phone calls to always find out where a woman is;
• Inability to discuss and communicate;
• Attempts to assert her superiority and make the woman feel inferior in any field;
• Lack of vision, respect, or trust in her;
• Aggressive temperament or an irrational attitude towards minor details.