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Let's Talk About Cheating...

Part One

By SEWI .Published 5 years ago 5 min read
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First of all, nothing justifies cheating. I can affirm that! If you don't agree, text me and let's argue. NEXT!

I feel like our generation is making cheating a "normal" thing and I don't like it. I have seen how much breaking the trust in a relationship can affect a person and lower their standards.

The other day on the radio show the Breakfast club, Charlemagne said the following words:

"Infidelity does not come from lack of love, it comes from lack of respect... and usually that respect is self-respect. If there's no respect, there's no relationship because loyalty and respect are not an upgrade in a relationship. They're a requirement."

I couldn't agree more.

When you commit yourself to being in a relationship, you commit yourself to respecting the other person as you would respect yourself. It's very simple: If you're not ready for commitment, you've not fully matured to the level a relationship requires you to be on—therefore, you should be single. Simple as that. There is absolute no reason to cheat.

Commitment requires you to focus on what you have, and not on what you could also have.

When you cheat or are cheating (because some of you are out here hoeing for real), you're making your partner feel like they're not good enough. You make them feel rejection, you make them feel less than the person you cheated with, and you're making them wonder what is missing in the relationship.

If you're cheating out of not being content...

If you're cheating because you like to explore...

If you're cheating for revenge...

If you're cheating...

STAY SINGLE!

Cheating comes from weakness, lack of self-control, and shows negative aspects of your character. Allow yourself to grow as person, define your thoughts, decide what you want, and then commit to a relationship. I feel like a lot of people who cheat are only in a relationship in order to keep their partner committed to them whilst they explore what else is out there. That's extremely selfish. Love is not selfish.

If you have been cheated on, never blame yourself. Full stop. It's not your fault. It's not because you're not good enough. Beyoncé got cheated on! You can be whatever the world thinks you are, if someone wants to cheat on you, THEY WILL... it is what it is. Only thing that keeps people from cheating is their character. However, you're responsible for what you allow your partner to continue to do. If you accept cheating in your relationships, there will be consequences. I used to judge people who stayed in relationships after being cheated on. But my own past decisions do not allow me to judge those who decide to forgive their partner. It's not easy. We all make mistakes!

But forgiving and accepting cheating are two different things. When you forgive, you're accepting that everyone makes mistakes and you're willing to move forward from what happened. You forgive to give your relationship another opportunity.

When you accept cheating, you're also setting the ground you're relationship will be built on. If you don't want this for your relationship, then you need to make sure that when you forgive, your partner knows that you're not accepting their actions; therefore, you're not making them think that this is something that you will accept in the relationship. Forgiving does not mean accepting.

When you forgive and decide to stay in that relationship, you need to be prepared to fully move on from the situation. You need to build your trust and commitment back in order for it to work. Constantly reminding your partner of their past mistakes will only weaken the relationship and make it toxic for both of you. Using people's mistakes against them is a low blow. If you don't feel ready to forgive... let that person go for your own good and their own good.

I feel like some people will stay in a relationship simply because they want to prove that they won a battle with whoever their partner cheated with. If you're in a true relationship, you should never have to fight for your partner. Debates only come from uncertainties. Relationships should be based on assurance.

Psychology theories show that constant exposure can leave humans desensitized (less likely to feel shock or distress at scenes of cruelty or suffering by overexposure to such images). Constantly dealing with cheating will eventually lead you to accepting it as part of the relationship. So, ask yourself if this is the type of relationship you want to be in. In my humble opinion, a relationship like this has everything to fail. I've heard some women say, "Even if he cheats, at the end of the day, I'm the one he comes to. Men will always cheat!" I don't want to be disrespectful, but... that sounds extremely weak minded to me. If I knew there was a person who will always be there for me, no matter what I do, I would also be out here trying every snack in the box—no lie!

Put respect above love because there's no love without respect.

What you may think is love will make you forgive endless times because infatuation has delusional thoughts. True love comes from self-love, first and foremost. When you love yourself, you won't allow people to constantly hurt you. But when you love your partner more than yourself, and your happiness depends on their presence, you will certainly allow them to mistreat you over and over again.

Allowing your partner to constantly hurt you shows that you also don't love your partner. Love should make you want to see the person grow and become a better version of themselves. Permitting them to hurt you is also toxic for them; people don't learn or change if their actions are being accepted and rewarded by others. If you truly love someone, don't focus on the potential you believe they may have, but focus on their reality and let them go if that's what they need in order to do better.

A lot of us don't fully love ourselves yet, and that is something we need to accept. And that certainly reflects on why we allow certain things to continue to happen to us. It's okay though. Remember that self-love is a working process. Don't feel discouraged or disappointed. You need to feel motivated and confident that you will fully love yourself one day. And I'm sure you will find someone who also loves themselves enough to fully love you and commit to a healthy relationship.

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About the Creator

SEWI .

See Why.

Deceiving thoughts create a fake reality.

When you read my articles I hope you feel motivated, positive energies, inspired and hopefully have a laugh.

Culture & Society.

Mariahh Brian

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